Posted in Healing, Life

The weight of life

I’ve been carrying “this weight” with me for a long time. Perhaps as long as I remember.

I am not talking about the physical weight, but the emotional one that might be even more dangerous. It’s a weight that rests on my shoulders. A weight that includes worries, sometimes about things I can’t control but wished that they could, or would have been different. A weight that at times feels like the weight of the world, crushing me under it’s enormity.

I believe it is the reason as to why I carry so much tension in my upper back and neck. Why the muscles feel tight and never seem to relax. My shoulders slope downwards, and no longer do they stand broad to accept additional weight. It just slides off me, in the same way my purse does these days. I have reached my limit of what I am carry. Physically and emotionally.

I look at it on the bright side, like it can’t get worse, even though I know it always can, but I am an optimist and I want to believe that things are in the process of getting better.

Life is hard, but I’m finding inspiration wherever I can.


We are the co-creators of our life and the time is now. More than ever are we needed to support Mother Earth and each other. Together we discover and explore our unique gifts in times of strengths, in times we lean on each other, and in times when we learn from each other. This blog started as an outlet and what I ultimately called my “Warriors Journey.” It was a way to document the ups and downs of my life, sharing my hardships as well as my successes. It showcased the struggles, but more important the ways of how to overcome them. Although we are warriors each and every day, I realized that having to be a warrior, comes from a place of pain. I decided to rename this blog, and “Phoenix Rising” now stands for the story of overcoming such a painful place. My motivation for this blog hasn’t changed and I hope to share inspiration and hope, to create a sense of belonging, a space of being heard, and connecting with like minded beings who instill a sense of oneness. We are never alone, and we are unstoppable in the pursuit of what sets our soul on fire. Who I am in a nutshell... 
I am an energy healer and Reiki Master. I am surviving a chronic disease that I’ve sent into remission three times since my initial bout, 15 years ago. I continuously challenge the status quo and by doing so I change my stars. I am a believer that anything is possible. I am a hopeless romantic and I believe that true love exists on various levels. I am an optimist that will always see the glass as half full. I am a dreamer, believing in endless possibilities. Not even the sky is the limit. I have jumped off of the hamster wheel, and I am writing a new chapter. I am chasing my Nirvana to support my most authentic self. This is my story, I am that Phoenix and I am rising from the ashes. Namaste 🙏🏼💙🦋

15 thoughts on “The weight of life

  1. Dear Rhapsody, I wish, that I was able to lift the weight away from your shoulders. I know, that there are much to think about for you now and I hope, that you are able to take the needed time and not hurry, so you feel sure about your decisions and have nothing to regret later.
    Remember that you are not alone and you are always welcome to reach out.
    Send you much love, light and healing ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you as always. Your words always convey your sincerity to help and you are just by being here. Thank you.
      I am lucky to be able to take my time and I am in rush to decide. The right decision will come forward when the time is right and this is not something I want to have regrets about.
      Sending much love your way. ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Our fears are those weights dear Rhapsody. They hold us in everything that we do until we reach a point to turn and face them, understand why we hold them, and in that understanding they lose their power over us which finally sets us free.
    Your shoulders will straighten, your mind will stop and your heart will hold something that truly wants to be loved…you ❤️
    And for the first time in your life even a simple smile will mean so much more…simply because it is truly you giving it, and not the fear.
    You are going through something so heartfelt dear lady, and it takes such courage as each day goes by. And in each of those steps you are creating that love, so have faith in you. Cry, scream and just hold your heart as those moments within will touch you. It is by being you that this understanding will settle in your heart and set you free ❤️
    Big hugs my friend, and much love and light each step you take ❤️


    1. Your words always have such a soothing effect of reaching me and you have spoiled me with your understanding and compassion.
      Every day does require courage and some days at easier then others. It’s hard to listen to music and so many memories just flood in unexpected.
      I find myself driving quite frequently to distract myself. It’s too painful at home sometimes.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes music is very emotional, we don’t even realise it as we listen. Usually bopping away to those we like and feeling the power of those love songs. But as you are very emotional during this time it tends to push that emotional level too far and we can’t tolerate it for long.
        The music I find settling at this time is a very low meditation music, one you can barely hear. It is meant to distract but not focus. Like your driving, you have to focus on the journey and let all else go. And it does feel like such a rest to stop your mind from its constant ‘thinking’ and just ‘do’ something else.
        Big hugs Rhapsody, and maybe that cat can share some energy too, they have that knack of unconditional ❤️

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I do love my meditation reiki music and you are right. It’s very soothing and there are usually no lyrics that go along to trigger more emotions.
        I think I have always been very emotional, and I know I feel and pick up more than most. Or maybe I am just willing to acknowledge those feelings and not dismiss them. But as an empath and feeling so much compassion for others it’s essential to protect yourself the best you can.
        The cat “Bember” is been coming around more and more. She comes in, eats and then takes a nap on the kitchen chair. She could be dead asleep but if I leave the room, she comes after me within seconds and checks on me. Maybe we both just don’t want to be alone at times.
        Big hug right back my friend. ❤️

        Liked by 1 person

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