Posted in Death, Life, Mom

At the beginning of life

Picture of little Mom and her Mother. Her life was just starting. I sometimes look at her, this little, and brace my heart for this poor little innocent soul that had no clue of how strong she would have to be in this hard life that was already laid out before her. How could her soul ever have signed up for so much pain? And how could mine had signed up to witness and see it all. I believe that our souls sign up for different lessons and maybe she needed to experience the many faces of pain and loss. Of what it means to start over and over again. Maybe my soul needed to experience what it means to love unconditionally regardless of how much time was wasted and how challenging of times there were. We had ten month that mattered the most. Ten month compared to a lifetime, and all I can say is that it is not enough.

I know that many things were never in my control to change, but I will forever wish that her life could have seen more sunny days and that we could have shared even more together. I miss you so much.


We are the co-creators of our life and the time is now. More than ever are we needed to support Mother Earth and each other. Together we discover and explore our unique gifts in times of strengths, in times we lean on each other, and in times when we learn from each other. This blog started as an outlet and what I ultimately called my “Warriors Journey.” It was a way to document the ups and downs of my life, sharing my hardships as well as my successes. It showcased the struggles, but more important the ways of how to overcome them. Although we are warriors each and every day, I realized that having to be a warrior, comes from a place of pain. I decided to rename this blog, and “Phoenix Rising” now stands for the story of overcoming such a painful place. My motivation for this blog hasn’t changed and I hope to share inspiration and hope, to create a sense of belonging, a space of being heard, and connecting with like minded beings who instill a sense of oneness. We are never alone, and we are unstoppable in the pursuit of what sets our soul on fire. Who I am in a nutshell... 
I am an energy healer and Reiki Master. I am surviving a chronic disease that I’ve sent into remission three times since my initial bout, 15 years ago. I continuously challenge the status quo and by doing so I change my stars. I am a believer that anything is possible. I am a hopeless romantic and I believe that true love exists on various levels. I am an optimist that will always see the glass as half full. I am a dreamer, believing in endless possibilities. Not even the sky is the limit. I have jumped off of the hamster wheel, and I am writing a new chapter. I am chasing my Nirvana to support my most authentic self. This is my story, I am that Phoenix and I am rising from the ashes. Namaste 🙏🏼💙🦋

18 thoughts on “At the beginning of life

  1. You are right, we do all get our lessons in life, Rhapsody. It isn’t easy to know, how things could have been, so maybe an idea just to appreciate your 10 months together as adult people, which is very different from being much younger and stay together. We have different to offer each other, when we become older.
    I don’t know why, but your post didn’t come into my Reader today.
    Send you much love, hugs and good wishes ❤

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you so much Irene. I too believe that everything happens for a reason and it’s better not to know all the details some times, but to trust. Things change as we get older but I am surely grateful that I had that time with her.
      Hope my posts will appear again in your reader and thank you so much for looking for me. Bless you always my dear friend ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  2. A friend of mine always says to me…’did we try to outdo each other and ticked all the boxes up there?’. Some days it seems like it.
    But because of those events in our lives this journey does create a love like no other, an appreciation of what we have endured with so much pain and heartache, to really find that beauty inside.
    That is shown by how much you do really miss her ❤️
    She is in your heart even so ❤️

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I believe so as well. It’s always the painful events that shape us even more, even when we think there is nothing more. I miss her a lot and I always knew it would be hard when I lose her. I just didn’t know how hard.
      Hugs ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I love looking at aged photos and wondering. Those littles have so much hope in front of them and pain they don’t yet know. Growing up sucks.
    She’s a lovely little girl. I like how she’s curious about the photographer and I really like how her mom is looking at her with such love and care.

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Children see more than adults. It’s only when we choose to let go of that joy when we begin to atrophy. Your mom had the responsibility of being the mom, alone.

        I was thinking about her coloring these last months and her knitting and creating. She had that joy, it wasn’t the kind we prefer, but she had sparks that we could see in pictures and the words you’ve shared.

        Choices. Like a picture I took today..I’ll post it later. We can be frozen or be alive in that ice. She didn’t stay frozen. Not all the time. Her story isn’t over, you are a different book in the series.

        I keep thinking and typing. I do hope I’m making some sort of sense! Love you, my dear friend! Xoxoxo

        Liked by 2 people

      2. You are making perfect sense my sister and I hear you. I remember seeing so much as a child. Thins that stayed with me all these things but also things I blocked as the pain got too great. I think everything has its part and belongs there somehow. Sometimes it takes a long time to understand and sometimes we might never. Hugs

        Liked by 1 person

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