Posted in Death, Life, Mom

At the beginning of life

Picture of little Mom and her Mother. Her life was just starting. I sometimes look at her, this little, and brace my heart for this poor little innocent soul that had no clue of how strong she would have to be in this hard life that was already laid out before her. How could her soul ever have signed up for so much pain? And how could mine had signed up to witness and see it all. I believe that our souls sign up for different lessons and maybe she needed to experience the many faces of pain and loss. Of what it means to start over and over again. Maybe my soul needed to experience what it means to love unconditionally regardless of how much time was wasted and how challenging of times there were. We had ten month that mattered the most. Ten month compared to a lifetime, and all I can say is that it is not enough.

I know that many things were never in my control to change, but I will forever wish that her life could have seen more sunny days and that we could have shared even more together. I miss you so much.


Who am I, and why I write. I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I am the one, holding on to the silver lining when the skies are gray. I’m a believer that nothing is coincidence, but that everything has purpose. I’ve made my mistakes, don’t we all, but I see them as growing pains and they are a part of who I am today. I have lost myself in order to find myself, and I still do from time to time, but in a good way. I’m a big child who laughs until my belly hurts when life wants to be serious. Career wise: I’ve been there, done that, and I took “The jump” off the hamster wheel in an effort to change my future. I didn’t land all that soft, but I can say that I’m still proud to have found the courage to do it. Coming full circle, I had it all, and yet I was lonely and had nothing. Today I choose to be a collector of moments and I chase memories, instead of the material stuff. Less is more, and the motto is quality over quantity. You’d be amazed at how freeing it can be. I see myself as a free spirit that believes in an unconventional lifestyle. Somehow I go against the grain most of the times, not to rebel, but because it feels right to stay true to my unique and authentic self. It takes courage, and you often stand alone, but if you dare, you soon realize that it is the only way if you don’t want to lose who you are. Just like most, my past wasn’t easy and I come from a life that didn’t always give me the opportunity to be heard. Few related and even fewer cared to take the time. But that’s the past and it’s history, the future hasn’t happened and the “NOW” is truly all we ever have. In the end we all have a story to tell, and we all seek to be understood. We all yearn to be heard and accepted and still life is hard and our path is full of stumbling blocks. If we can see the lessons in adversity we may realize that the toughest moments are often our greatest teachers. There is a reason for the saying that the stars can’t shine without darkness, and it might be darkness that will show you the light.
It took a series of (un)fortunate events, to learn to glow through the pain, to learn how to dance in the rain. I believe in Magic and wonder, and the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. As an empath this old soul often feels a little too much, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Today, I am here to tell my story because I believe that it can help others. It is my hope to bring inspiration and strengths to you, while showing you that it can be done. I know you are out there, and I know you are suffering in silence. I am here to tell you that you are not alone, and your voice is being heard loud and clear. Hang on and be strong, transformation is yours. 
In light and love....Rhapsody Bohème 💙🦋

18 thoughts on “At the beginning of life

  1. You are right, we do all get our lessons in life, Rhapsody. It isn’t easy to know, how things could have been, so maybe an idea just to appreciate your 10 months together as adult people, which is very different from being much younger and stay together. We have different to offer each other, when we become older.
    I don’t know why, but your post didn’t come into my Reader today.
    Send you much love, hugs and good wishes ❤

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you so much Irene. I too believe that everything happens for a reason and it’s better not to know all the details some times, but to trust. Things change as we get older but I am surely grateful that I had that time with her.
      Hope my posts will appear again in your reader and thank you so much for looking for me. Bless you always my dear friend ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  2. A friend of mine always says to me…’did we try to outdo each other and ticked all the boxes up there?’. Some days it seems like it.
    But because of those events in our lives this journey does create a love like no other, an appreciation of what we have endured with so much pain and heartache, to really find that beauty inside.
    That is shown by how much you do really miss her ❤️
    She is in your heart even so ❤️

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I believe so as well. It’s always the painful events that shape us even more, even when we think there is nothing more. I miss her a lot and I always knew it would be hard when I lose her. I just didn’t know how hard.
      Hugs ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I love looking at aged photos and wondering. Those littles have so much hope in front of them and pain they don’t yet know. Growing up sucks.
    She’s a lovely little girl. I like how she’s curious about the photographer and I really like how her mom is looking at her with such love and care.

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Children see more than adults. It’s only when we choose to let go of that joy when we begin to atrophy. Your mom had the responsibility of being the mom, alone.

        I was thinking about her coloring these last months and her knitting and creating. She had that joy, it wasn’t the kind we prefer, but she had sparks that we could see in pictures and the words you’ve shared.

        Choices. Like a picture I took today..I’ll post it later. We can be frozen or be alive in that ice. She didn’t stay frozen. Not all the time. Her story isn’t over, you are a different book in the series.

        I keep thinking and typing. I do hope I’m making some sort of sense! Love you, my dear friend! Xoxoxo

        Liked by 2 people

      2. You are making perfect sense my sister and I hear you. I remember seeing so much as a child. Thins that stayed with me all these things but also things I blocked as the pain got too great. I think everything has its part and belongs there somehow. Sometimes it takes a long time to understand and sometimes we might never. Hugs

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s