A concept, an aesthetic, and a worldview that focuses on finding beauty within the imperfections of life and accepting peacefully the cycle of growth and decay.
This is a recent picture from a few weeks ago. It’s been month since I could make a fist with my left hand. I’ve tried, but all I could do is slightly curl my fingers, that was all. When I gently wrapped my fingers with my other hand, helping it to make a fist, I could only go so far and you could literally hear the bones grinding against either other. The sound alone was painful to hear not to mention the actual feeling. Sometimes my hand got stuck in an awkward painful cramp, until it finally snapped into action. Either into the desired direction or back to the way it was before the attempt. It was always painful, but I had to try. It was scary times for sure, losing control, your life, especially when my right hand started to show similar symptoms. And then eventually it happened and I could make a fist again. So what happens?
I’ve kept quiet thinking it might be some fluke, a good day where the universe had finally heard my prayers. The last thing I needed was to jinx it. I almost didn’t believe it myself, but more and more days followed, good days, still painful to make a fist, but days when I could do it. That in itself was a miracle to me. I’m by no means out of the woods, but I can’t help but contemplate about what contributed to it. And feel pretty darn blessed, empowered, and proud that I have kept my vision and never gave up. That I believed and surrendered my swords to love and faith. You know how the universe answers your prayers based on your thoughts? Well today I believe that I am experiencing remission and it just has to be this way. I’m thinking it, I believe it and the universe will do the rest.
I think some of the things that helped me getting her is that I stopped fighting against it. That I let my resistance and fear fall to the wayside. Mostly and whenever I could. Some things are simply out of our control and I recognized this as such a thing. I accepted the imperfections, the growth and the decay, no matter how hard it was. I tried to find the beauty in the lessons and the imperfections of life, in Wabi-sabi.
I stopped drinking out of plastic cups for the most part. I need to get a new metal bottle for when I hike since my old one started to leak, but I made changes.
I do have my copper gloves I wear here and there. They soothe my hands and feel comfortable but I can’t credit them to alleviating stiffness in the morning.
I don’t type as much on the computer and sometimes days go by before I get to your comments. I don’t like that part but I can’t force it when I’m dealing with the pain and thank you for understanding. You already know that I always come around again when I can to catch up and to see what you’ve been up to.
Ibuprofen helps with inflammation and pain but is not your friend. What a weird concept. You feel better but more damage is done in the meantime. On an autoimmune protocol ibuprofen and aspirin is a no go, and I only take it if I absolutely need to now. There used to be a time I needed to take it every night just to get a decent pain manageable amount of sleep.
I cut out sugar and sugar substitutes and sweeten with honey.
I eat less inflammatory foods.
I have become more mobile and have gone from hardly being able to walk in December to managing 8 miles on a good day.
I have become a energy healer and have gotten my Reiki Master certificate amongst some others. I am calm most days unless you invade my privacy on the trail and fly a drone over me to film me. Sorry side note but true example of poor trail Etikett. Can you believe it? Yep that happened to me this week… my words “Do you mind?” Gee
I have been lucky being able to listen to my body and allowing it time to heal. To not get sucked up in a physical job and to have had all this time off to really mend myself and look after myself. It’s been a long, painful process, but it’s been a journey where much was learned and the lessons are not yet over. This time taught me just how strong we can be and how extraordinary yet fragile the human spirit is. How easily the balance can tip and things turn to chaos and being out of whack.
My blog has definitely helped me by connecting to other kindred spirits and extraordinary souls. I am blessed to have crossed paths with you. I could never thank you enough and I hope you know what you mean to me.
Plus another powerful and most amazing gift is that I receive healing and love from other powerful healers and a very special shaman that sends me their light and love every day. I couldn’t have done it without you.
These are just a few things that come to mind and really it is a collection of many things. Maybe it is my guardian angels watching out for me. Attending the full moon celebrations, releasing energies that no longer serve me and weigh me down. Maybe it is setting new goals and intentions during the full moon and manifesting such throughout the month. I am sure it is the healing power of crystals and without a doubt it is inner peace and quieting the turmoil we so often find ourselves in. It is following my passion of turning my crafts into a business, of bringing something special to the table, a sense of belonging and being needed. It is being loved and appreciated. It is having purpose. So where do you find all these things you might wonder? Life is not perfect and never will be, but most of it is a matter of your perception and how you react to those moments. If you see a lesson or just another downfall. If you feel the victim or embrace the cards you are dealt with. You don’t have to like it one bit and believe there are still things I don’t like and need to change, but I will continue to try and make the best out of these situations. Maybe tomorrow I take a step for the worst, but I’m not even going to through this thought out into the universe because today I celebrate the achievements I have made in claiming my life back. And so can you…