Posted in Inspiration, Journey, Life

Finding yourself

Have you ever heard someone say that they need to find themselves or lost themselves? What happens when we feel like this and what makes us say this? It has to be some sort of misalignment with our ideals and the way we would like to experience life and the world. Does finding ourselves mean we have strayed from our beliefs, that we have lost our true self and behaved out of line? Why and what caused it?

I think we all get conditioned going through life. Conditioned on how one is to behave, and what is expected. We are introduced to the beliefs of others, their values and concepts, especially growing up, but those guidelines don’t always fit us. Still we go along, out of respect, because we don’t initially know better and because we are taught to comply. It seems incomprehensible that other opinions exist or matter, or that we should dare to disagree. Growing up is matter of respecting your parents and what is being taught, while as an adult we often face the fear of not fitting in, not being accepted. All these conditions eventually lead to a feeling of loss, having lost, feeling lost and having to find yourself again.

I found a cool theory from Emily McDowell addressing this very issue. She says that finding yourself is not really how it works. You aren’t a ten dollar bill in last winters coat pocket. You are also not lost. Your true self is right there, buried under cultural conditioning, other peoples opinions, and inaccurate conclusions you drew as a kid that became your beliefs about who you are. Finding yourself is actually returning to yourself. An unlearning, an excavation, a remembering of who you were before the world got its hand on you.


Who am I, and why I write. I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I am the one, holding on to the silver lining when the skies are gray. I’m a believer that nothing is coincidence, but that everything has purpose. I’ve made my mistakes, don’t we all, but I see them as growing pains and they are a part of who I am today. I have lost myself in order to find myself, and I still do from time to time, but in a good way. I’m a big child who laughs until my belly hurts when life wants to be serious. Career wise: I’ve been there, done that, and I took “The jump” off the hamster wheel in an effort to change my future. I didn’t land all that soft, but I can say that I’m still proud to have found the courage to do it. Coming full circle, I had it all, and yet I was lonely and had nothing. Today I choose to be a collector of moments and I chase memories, instead of the material stuff. Less is more, and the motto is quality over quantity. You’d be amazed at how freeing it can be. I see myself as a free spirit that believes in an unconventional lifestyle. Somehow I go against the grain most of the times, not to rebel, but because it feels right to stay true to my unique and authentic self. It takes courage, and you often stand alone, but if you dare, you soon realize that it is the only way if you don’t want to lose who you are. Just like most, my past wasn’t easy and I come from a life that didn’t always give me the opportunity to be heard. Few related and even fewer cared to take the time. But that’s the past and it’s history, the future hasn’t happened and the “NOW” is truly all we ever have. In the end we all have a story to tell, and we all seek to be understood. We all yearn to be heard and accepted and still life is hard and our path is full of stumbling blocks. If we can see the lessons in adversity we may realize that the toughest moments are often our greatest teachers. There is a reason for the saying that the stars can’t shine without darkness, and it might be darkness that will show you the light.
It took a series of (un)fortunate events, to learn to glow through the pain, to learn how to dance in the rain. I believe in Magic and wonder, and the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. As an empath this old soul often feels a little too much, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Today, I am here to tell my story because I believe that it can help others. It is my hope to bring inspiration and strengths to you, while showing you that it can be done. I know you are out there, and I know you are suffering in silence. I am here to tell you that you are not alone, and your voice is being heard loud and clear. Hang on and be strong, transformation is yours. 
In light and love....Rhapsody Bohème 💙🦋

24 thoughts on “Finding yourself

  1. Wow! I absolutely love this and couldn’t agree more. Hopefully, someday I am able to shed the social conditioning that I am buried beneath. To me, I believe there is a wild, carefree, beautiful heart underneath that needs to come out. Your post makes me believe that I can live up to that someday. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have already seen this beautiful, wild, carefree and giggly princess. She is beautiful whether she embraces her feminine side or has to be strong and masculine. I guess there is a time for everything but social conditioning has to be shed rather sooner than later. I know it’s not always easy and little steps will get you there. Much love to you. ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Awe princess, you always touch my heart and you hold such a special place there. A place that wants you to succeed in all you set forth for yourself and I like I said before, I can see it already. Keep going!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Great post, Rhapsody 🙂
    Sometimes in special situations in life, we can come to the conclusion, that we don’t know ourselves well enough, then we may request to find ourselves. In broken relationships, break from families or loosing our job, we may feel the need to view ourselves deeply inside to find out, who am I now?
    Much love to you and I hope, that you are feeling good, dear friend ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I totally agree and your responses always show me how much we are alike. How many of the same experiences we must have shared, sharing the same beliefs and mind. I am honored to call you my friend.
      Love always…❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Loved this !
    “Finding ourselves” in my own perspective is quite different ! It sometimes occurs after a trauma or a bad experience , when we feel the “power of the moment”! we start questioning ourselves if we’re happy and what we really want ! great post , thanks for sharing !

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh I totally agree and it is most always through adversity that we challenge the status quo and set up our own values. I guess finding yourself can be viewed as the moment when we choose to awaken.
      Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.
      Namaste 🙏🏼

      Liked by 1 person

  4. So beautifully worded dear lady. It is those changes we go through as our belief about ourselves resolve and become closer to our truth…to finally just stop…find that balance…and just be, no longer struggling to find anything 😀
    Take a bow, your truth is showing 💜

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Well said Rhapsody. ❤️
    We are not lost, but we sometimes wander in circles pursuing the wrong things to find contentment. Happiness and joy (always offset by its polar opposites) is not a thing to be found, but a state of mind that has no outward influence (unless we let it).
    If we lose a job, we instantly feel unhappy, fearful or sad. Yet, if we were to look at the happy side, we are offered freedom to find something we love to do. If we could focus on the positive, our experience would be more joyful, just by switching our thoughts.
    Very often, people who have experienced the greatest traumas in life, find the experience life changing to their dogmatic thoughts. When ever I see interviews with people who have lost their whole family to a sudden disaster, I am constantly amazed at how calm, and empathetic they are towards others (at least evident in the interview). To attract the positive, we must open our thoughts to the positive… contentment comes from the balance of acceptance, no matter the journey and no matter the goal. When we have balance, the rest of what we are, falls neatly into place just as we expected as children.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I feel so much has happened in my life over the last few years that I have truly learned to embrace this kind of thinking. Knowing that everything happens for a reason and trying to find the positive lessons in everything has definitely made a big difference for me.

      Liked by 2 people

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