Posted in Inspiration, Journey, Life

Finding yourself

Have you ever heard someone say that they need to find themselves or lost themselves? What happens when we feel like this and what makes us say this? It has to be some sort of misalignment with our ideals and the way we would like to experience life and the world. Does finding ourselves mean we have strayed from our beliefs, that we have lost our true self and behaved out of line? Why and what caused it?

I think we all get conditioned going through life. Conditioned on how one is to behave, and what is expected. We are introduced to the beliefs of others, their values and concepts, especially growing up, but those guidelines don’t always fit us. Still we go along, out of respect, because we don’t initially know better and because we are taught to comply. It seems incomprehensible that other opinions exist or matter, or that we should dare to disagree. Growing up is matter of respecting your parents and what is being taught, while as an adult we often face the fear of not fitting in, not being accepted. All these conditions eventually lead to a feeling of loss, having lost, feeling lost and having to find yourself again.

I found a cool theory from Emily McDowell addressing this very issue. She says that finding yourself is not really how it works. You aren’t a ten dollar bill in last winters coat pocket. You are also not lost. Your true self is right there, buried under cultural conditioning, other peoples opinions, and inaccurate conclusions you drew as a kid that became your beliefs about who you are. Finding yourself is actually returning to yourself. An unlearning, an excavation, a remembering of who you were before the world got its hand on you.


We are the co-creators of our life and the time is now. More than ever are we needed to support Mother Earth and each other. Together we discover and explore our unique gifts in times of strengths, in times we lean on each other, and in times when we learn from each other. This blog started as an outlet and what I ultimately called my “Warriors Journey.” It was a way to document the ups and downs of my life, sharing my hardships as well as my successes. It showcased the struggles, but more important the ways of how to overcome them. Although we are warriors each and every day, I realized that having to be a warrior, comes from a place of pain. I decided to rename this blog, and “Phoenix Rising” now stands for the story of overcoming such a painful place. My motivation for this blog hasn’t changed and I hope to share inspiration and hope, to create a sense of belonging, a space of being heard, and connecting with like minded beings who instill a sense of oneness. We are never alone, and we are unstoppable in the pursuit of what sets our soul on fire. Who I am in a nutshell... 
I am an energy healer and Reiki Master. I am surviving a chronic disease that I’ve sent into remission three times since my initial bout, 15 years ago. I continuously challenge the status quo and by doing so I change my stars. I am a believer that anything is possible. I am a hopeless romantic and I believe that true love exists on various levels. I am an optimist that will always see the glass as half full. I am a dreamer, believing in endless possibilities. Not even the sky is the limit. I have jumped off of the hamster wheel, and I am writing a new chapter. I am chasing my Nirvana to support my most authentic self. This is my story, I am that Phoenix and I am rising from the ashes. Namaste 🙏🏼💙🦋

24 thoughts on “Finding yourself

  1. Wow! I absolutely love this and couldn’t agree more. Hopefully, someday I am able to shed the social conditioning that I am buried beneath. To me, I believe there is a wild, carefree, beautiful heart underneath that needs to come out. Your post makes me believe that I can live up to that someday. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have already seen this beautiful, wild, carefree and giggly princess. She is beautiful whether she embraces her feminine side or has to be strong and masculine. I guess there is a time for everything but social conditioning has to be shed rather sooner than later. I know it’s not always easy and little steps will get you there. Much love to you. ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Awe princess, you always touch my heart and you hold such a special place there. A place that wants you to succeed in all you set forth for yourself and I like I said before, I can see it already. Keep going!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Great post, Rhapsody 🙂
    Sometimes in special situations in life, we can come to the conclusion, that we don’t know ourselves well enough, then we may request to find ourselves. In broken relationships, break from families or loosing our job, we may feel the need to view ourselves deeply inside to find out, who am I now?
    Much love to you and I hope, that you are feeling good, dear friend ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I totally agree and your responses always show me how much we are alike. How many of the same experiences we must have shared, sharing the same beliefs and mind. I am honored to call you my friend.
      Love always…❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Loved this !
    “Finding ourselves” in my own perspective is quite different ! It sometimes occurs after a trauma or a bad experience , when we feel the “power of the moment”! we start questioning ourselves if we’re happy and what we really want ! great post , thanks for sharing !

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh I totally agree and it is most always through adversity that we challenge the status quo and set up our own values. I guess finding yourself can be viewed as the moment when we choose to awaken.
      Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.
      Namaste 🙏🏼

      Liked by 1 person

  4. So beautifully worded dear lady. It is those changes we go through as our belief about ourselves resolve and become closer to our truth…to finally just stop…find that balance…and just be, no longer struggling to find anything 😀
    Take a bow, your truth is showing 💜

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Well said Rhapsody. ❤️
    We are not lost, but we sometimes wander in circles pursuing the wrong things to find contentment. Happiness and joy (always offset by its polar opposites) is not a thing to be found, but a state of mind that has no outward influence (unless we let it).
    If we lose a job, we instantly feel unhappy, fearful or sad. Yet, if we were to look at the happy side, we are offered freedom to find something we love to do. If we could focus on the positive, our experience would be more joyful, just by switching our thoughts.
    Very often, people who have experienced the greatest traumas in life, find the experience life changing to their dogmatic thoughts. When ever I see interviews with people who have lost their whole family to a sudden disaster, I am constantly amazed at how calm, and empathetic they are towards others (at least evident in the interview). To attract the positive, we must open our thoughts to the positive… contentment comes from the balance of acceptance, no matter the journey and no matter the goal. When we have balance, the rest of what we are, falls neatly into place just as we expected as children.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I feel so much has happened in my life over the last few years that I have truly learned to embrace this kind of thinking. Knowing that everything happens for a reason and trying to find the positive lessons in everything has definitely made a big difference for me.

      Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s