Posted in Backpacking, Mother nature

Chronic Pain

This picture was taken a few years back at another favorite spot where the marmots run wild and whistle to signal you are near. I will never forget backpacking and camping at this beautiful spot under a starry night and a full moon. It was light enough for the mountain to reflect in the lake as the glow of the moon was casting it’s soft subdued light everywhere.

I love to hike and I have seen some pretty amazing spots over the years with some help. Fact is I am dealing with chronic pain, rheumatoid arthritis that can cause joint damage and erosion. It’s always a struggle to hike these days and most days I say a little prayer to say safe out there. For my joints to hold up, for my ankles not to buckle and the strengths to manage the often rocky terrain. It’s painful, always, and it’s only the pain levels that vary. On a mild day more tolerable and manageable, making you feel alive with a actual quality of life, and on bad days crippling and debilitating where the simplest of tasks become a challenge. In addition to the pain, the second worse thing is the fatigue, being tired all the time, having to force yourself to move, to be active, to live a normal life. Everything takes effort on top of the pain and I have listened to my body to let it rest, to observe the signs, to be gentle and not push too hard, and at the same time push myself when I feel I can to get my strength back in order of being able to face daily life. It’s a struggle and no two days are equal.

We’ve waited so long for warmer temperatures and the humidity to lower, which have finally arrived, actually weeks ago and all June has been nice. The pain though hasn’t vanished and I am still struggling. The other day we talked about this potentially being my new reality and my way of how life is for me going forward. I struggled even more, and couldn’t accept that to be my truth. In a way it would feel like giving up, surrendering to it, giving into the fight, and it didn’t feel right. Not just yet, and while I believe that this is valuable, sometimes, that we have to pick our battles and go with the flow, I also believe that certain things are worth fighting for and this is one such a thing. You see I have been here before, not for this long as it has been now, and not as bad as it has been now, but I have been here and have witnessed it all go into remission, giving me years without pain. I have to believe that this is also a possibility and could be my truths. So perhaps the chances are 50/50 and this dreamer believes in miracles.


We are the co-creators of our life and the time is now. More than ever are we needed to support Mother Earth and each other. Together we discover and explore our unique gifts in times of strengths, in times we lean on each other, and in times when we learn from each other. This blog started as an outlet and what I ultimately called my “Warriors Journey.” It was a way to document the ups and downs of my life, sharing my hardships as well as my successes. It showcased the struggles, but more important the ways of how to overcome them. Although we are warriors each and every day, I realized that having to be a warrior, comes from a place of pain. I decided to rename this blog, and “Phoenix Rising” now stands for the story of overcoming such a painful place. My motivation for this blog hasn’t changed and I hope to share inspiration and hope, to create a sense of belonging, a space of being heard, and connecting with like minded beings who instill a sense of oneness. We are never alone, and we are unstoppable in the pursuit of what sets our soul on fire. Who I am in a nutshell... 
I am an energy healer and Reiki Master. I am surviving a chronic disease that I’ve sent into remission three times since my initial bout, 15 years ago. I continuously challenge the status quo and by doing so I change my stars. I am a believer that anything is possible. I am a hopeless romantic and I believe that true love exists on various levels. I am an optimist that will always see the glass as half full. I am a dreamer, believing in endless possibilities. Not even the sky is the limit. I have jumped off of the hamster wheel, and I am writing a new chapter. I am chasing my Nirvana to support my most authentic self. This is my story, I am that Phoenix and I am rising from the ashes. Namaste 🙏🏼💙🦋

18 thoughts on “Chronic Pain

  1. It is a very debilitating situation dear lady, and as you have said, to such a degree that even doing something simple turns into a nightmare.
    I am in the early stages of it and the only thing that seems to affect it is diet. So out went sugar, chocolate, alcohol, did I mention chocolate 😀, and a million other things.
    That does look like a beautiful place, and it is when we are in this space we feel so much more connected than when our bodies are constantly screaming at us. Giving you a little rest at least among the mayhem.
    May your remission drive a Lamborghini and visit soon 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your comment is bittersweet and stirs on my emotions. You made me smile and feel sad at the same time being diagnosed with this mean, unforgiving disease at well. I may have some hope here soon and be sure to keep you in mind through sharing the info. I believe people come into our lives for a reason and maybe this is why our paths have crossed. Besides giving up chocolate simply sucks 😉
      Make sure to get balance into your life because stress is no friend of yours with this disease. And if that Lamborghini shows up, be sure I’ll come to pick you up. 😉 Thanks my friend.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Beautiful place both for hiking and relaxing Rhapsody.
    Have you tried CBD oil against your pain? It is working good for me, so I don’t need so many other painkillers, when mine flaw up her.
    Send you healing and best wishes ❤

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Good to hear, that you find a way too without so many chemicals. I have used the CBD oil in some months now and it is working well. I don’t intake this together with turmeric, this I use in the food together with ginger and ground cumin to fight the inflammation.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. That should be fine as well and is something I have to increase. Inflammation is a constant fight and I am currently working on finding my food triggers. Much love and light to you. Be well.

        Liked by 1 person

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