Posted in Inspiration, Spirituality

Wounded Healers…

…aren’t born or made. They create themselves by transforming their pain into power and adversity into strength. They are spiritual alchemists who understand the value of facing the shadows and transmuting them into light. They are the Illuminators of the unseen realms and help lost souls find help, home and healing.

~Lonerwolf

Over the past years I have met many of such wounded healers here on WordPress. You are the ones who have overcome incredible odds, the ones who don’t give up, the ones that have stayed positive and hopeful, during and after times of horror. You are the ones who are my role model, the ones I feel connected through by a common thread, and the ones that inspire me to never forget how powerful the human spirit can be. Thank you for sharing your stories, and for spreading hope and love in this world. You, each and every one of you make such a huge difference, and at times you may never know, and it is your spirit that may have just saved another.❤️

Posted in Animals, Birds

Farewell, little ones

I woke up to an empty nest and my little mourning doves have left into the world. I knew it was coming, watching them spread and flap their little wings, while outgrowing their small nest. This was the last picture I got of them, just taken yesterday.

I will definitely miss them, and I already do. I couldn’t help but feel so grateful to have witnessed this precious gift of life being born almost right in front of my eyes. To watch them grow from little naked chicks into their full glory of feathers. To have received their trust, by choosing my patio as the ultimate nesting site was pretty awesome, and made me feel like their caretaker. We survived the stray cat that stalks the yard from time to time, and I learned so much about these beautiful little birds. I feel like something is missing today, and while I am so proud that we did it, that the chicks survived and are just starting their life, I also feel a bit sad and emotional. Gee what a sap I have become.

In the meantime I have a partridge family with chicks, a baby bunny, and a pregnant lizard that has moved in to distract my attention.

Posted in Inspiration, Spirituality

Namaste

  • Namaste (Nah- mas-tay)
  • My soul honors your soul. I honor the place in you where the entire universe resides. I honor the light, love, truth, beauty & peace within you, because it is also within me. In sharing these things we are united, we are the same, we are ONE.
  • We have all met that person. Faced that invisible connection that has made us feel as if we were talking to ourselves. In wonder and astonishment we have recognized a familiarity, a comfort that has always felt like home. A place of warmth that allows us to lay our weapons down and just be. A sanctuary without judgement and prejudice, a place to be carefree, a place to be understood.

    When experienced, those times will come with much gratitude, and it is something we cherish and protect. It is rare, it is beautiful, and it nourishes the deepest parts of ourselves. Being on that same soul path, at the exact same time, what an incredible synchronicity. Perhaps we have passed us by, without ever knowing, or the timing was off. If we are lucky we meet again, and when it does happen and someone brings out the best in you instead of the stress in you, make sure to take the time and appreciate and honor their soul in all its beauty, because it doesn’t always happen that way. Consider yourself lucky and blessed, and most of all, never take it for granted.

    Namaste 🙏🏼

    Posted in Inspiration, Poetry

    I hope you live louder

    Picture taken from Pinterest

    I came across a little midweek inspiration with this beautiful poem from Marisa Donnelly @tinybuddha.com. It immediately spoke to me, as so many Moments escape us doing busy work, having to adult, looking after our obligations and responsibilities, or doing whatever.

    It is always balance that is key and pursuing your passion and the things that allow you to live louder as often as possible. I would love to share this poem with you today while sending a huge virtual hug to whoever that needs it, and maybe a little nudge and reminder to push yourself to make time for those things. You already know it will be worth it.

    I hope you live louder

    I hope you laugh more. I hope you sing at the top of your lungs. I hope you drive with the windows down and let the wind rustle through your hair. I hope you hug. I hope you kiss. I hope you surround yourself with people who make you feel alive. I hope you become the type of person that brings good energy wherever you go, and the type of person people want to be around. I hope you speak what’s on your mind, that you raise your voice for injustice, that you tell others that you love them, instead of waiting until it’s too late. I hope you live louder, shine brighter. From this moment on. ❤️🦋

    Posted in Life, Mom

    When life happens

    It was last Saturday evening that I was starting to get sick. A little discomfort here and there, still hopeful that it would pass. By Sunday morning I was in the midsts of a violent, full blown RA flare up, bringing some new symptoms never experienced before. If I never had a migraine in my life, this definitely was one. My eyes kept going cross eyed and I couldn’t shake the pounding in my head. Not even three Advil’s did the trick. All I wanted to do is sleep. There was dizziness and hot flashes. I felt lethargic with no energy, at times not even capable of forming a thought. I don’t even know how I managed the trip to the store to get medicine, and luckily I didn’t have to drive or go alone.

    Another symptom were throbbing pains, especially in my hands. Walking was also painful, although partially because of a bad sunburn acquired from expired sunscreen. There wouldn’t be much to do of anything besides sleep and praying to get better. Within a few hours of running a rheumatic fever, the blisters developed on most of my upper lip and chin area. One of the worst symptoms and the one most persistent. No lotion, no make up, no nothing. Just ugliness at its finest, smack dab in your face.

    Why now I thought, already knowing the answer. In a heartbeat life brings a reminder of how quickly things can change. I haven’t talked about Mom in a long time. Nothing has changed and she hates being in the nursing home. We usually Skype every other day, but something happened last Wednesday and she wasn’t herself. Just moments into the conversation I realized how agitated Mom was and I could see it all over her face. I questioned her about what was going on and she had some harsh things to say in regards to me leaving her there and being the reason as to why she must stay there. Dad came into play again, and threats came up, mixed with insults and bad names. It was very hard to hear, but I realized that she was speaking from a place of fear and being alone. I know that she has open wounds again and I’m sure she is not happy hearing about it, let alone being instructed or told what to do about it. I found out she blames me now for not being able to get better, because I am keeping her in such a horrible place. In the end I was unable to turn things around and to meet her with love and faith. She choose not wanting to have a part of it and instead closed the iPad and hung up. I would lie if I said it didn’t hurt and upset me. Yes it’s not my mother talking when she acts like this, but try and listen to it and be on the receiving end while you are doing all you can.

    Nearly six months have past since I left and is losing hope and faith that I come back to take her home. Nearly six month of trying to get back on my own feet and healthy. She is out of reality that it is not possible unless her home is remodeled to accommodate her in the wheelchair. She doesn’t want to do those things, but doesn’t realize that her current housing situation (at home) no longer fits her needs and it is me who gets caught in the crossfire. She has decided not to talk to me since and it’s been almost a week of me trying to reach her. Besides today….

    Monday’s and Tuesday’s are usually my days with Mother Nature, hiking, trying to get my strengths back to join a regular life again, including a job which I soon have to seriously consider. I didn’t go out on Monday for various reasons, and for not being well, physically and mentally. I could have called her, but I couldn’t bring myself to sit here, and to keep hitting redial, being sad and disappointed on top of things, knowing that her stubbornness very well prevent her from answering. I couldn’t put myself through it, although I know that if it wasn’t for me who always comes around, we probably had many occasions already to never talk again. And second, if she would have answered, I wasn’t in a position to cheerlead and cheer her up today. Nothing would have been achieved. So here we are, with me, continued at her mercy, and hopefully one day she feels like talking again. I know she has her reasons and fears, her dislikes and grudges, but I can’t bring her home and leave her to die. It almost happened a few times already. I wish she could acknowledge this, instead of punishing me with the silent treatment to inflict more guilt. There is no extra help needed and I am well there already.

    Posted in Animals, Birds

    Lolek & Bolek

    Front view of my little mourning dove chicks (Lolek & Bolek), now nearly one week old and growing fast. They are fed and watched over by both parents that take shifts, sitting in the nest to keep the little ones warm and fed. It’s a wonderful privilege to watch them so close. Does it sound weird to say that I miss them already, because soon they will leave their nest. 💙

    Posted in Hiking, Mother nature

    Frozen Salmon Lake

    Already we have reached (almost) the midpoint of our year, and the sixth month, June is several days old.

    Here in my neighborhood we received record snow amounts and moisture this winter, which is said to be the effects of an El Niño year. I heard that about 150 lakes in the Sierra are still frozen and I believe it. This was the first picture of Salmon Lake this year, and much snow still surrounds the area. Waterfalls are popping up all over the place from snow run off, also building little streams and ponds of flooding.

    I think hiking the PCT (Pacific Crest Trail) will be nearly impossible and extremely dangerous, if attempted this year. Waters will rise at raging levels, making any safe crossing extremely difficult. Also much of the trail through the high Sierra could well be buried under the heavy snow pack, which could hinder navigation and the overall progress.

    While some roads in national parks such as Lassen Volcanic Park might not open until later in July due to snow, others such as the slopes of Mammoth Lakes plan to stay open until August. Wow, that’s almost unheard of and the hiking season is off to a late start when it comes to accessing some of my favorite areas.