Posted in Chronic illness, Pain

Ruled by pain

As predicted from my soul sister through an earlier Ogham reading, the pain eased up by the end of April – early May. Never completely pain free and despite of it, it was like receiving precious little gifts each day, being able to function just a little better. Being able to do things I couldn’t before, when it comes to house chores, and all the struggles trying to manage even the smallest of things on a day to day basis.

It’s quite amazing what a high it can be, how it fuels your willpower, how motivated and hopeful you become. You can’t help but to believe that the worst is behind you, that things are finally looking up and that your time has come to reap the rewards of all your suffering. After all, you’ve barely managed to keep hope alive and stay positive, but did somehow because it is engrained in your DNA, it’s who you are. Nothing can go wrong now, you have risen once more. Nothing can touch you as you remember the motivations behind the fight as to why you always believe in the positive, and see the glass half full. Why you always believe in the silver lining and the lessons that come with every life experience. Life is good isn’t it? You got this and you can manage this now.

But boy, when that pain comes back around, which most likely will if you are dealing with a chronic illness, although you hoped it to be gone forever, it is simply crippling and debilitating. It’s hard to remember the positives as fear and worry creeps in as faithful companions to the misery you are experiencing. Why did it come back? You’ve believed with all your heart that you have found a way, may it be through exercise, diet, positive mind frame, manifesting your realities, or whatever else it might be. It’s hard to remember the little successes and that in spite of the reoccurring pain, you have made tremendous strides. Pain has a way of wiping it all out, only making the current count. When the pain and those moments find their way back to you, leaving behind all the good, replaced by mostly darkness, vulnerability and fear. It has happened a few times since my overall getting better and finding my way back to a hopefully perfect recovery. It is important to recognize that those are the times and tests of the scariest of all moments, when we are challenged to find something to hold on to and to remember that “This too shall pass.” Even if it lasts for more than just moments and you find yourself fighting for a few days. Believe that it can dissipate and vanish as fast as it appeared, and hold on.

Stay strong out there and know that you are not alone. Your brothers and sisters are fighting alongside with you, allowing you to lean on their shoulders when you need a moment to rest. As always, the pain cycle will ease up again, letting you fly high above the clouds again, feeling proud that you managed to get up once more.

In light and love ❤️


Who am I, and why I write. I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I am the one, holding on to the silver lining when the skies are gray. I’m a believer that nothing is coincidence, but that everything has purpose. I’ve made my mistakes, don’t we all, but I see them as growing pains and they are a part of who I am today. I have lost myself in order to find myself, and I still do from time to time, but in a good way. I’m a big child who laughs until my belly hurts when life wants to be serious. Career wise: I’ve been there, done that, and I took “The jump” off the hamster wheel in an effort to change my future. I didn’t land all that soft, but I can say that I’m still proud to have found the courage to do it. Coming full circle, I had it all, and yet I was lonely and had nothing. Today I choose to be a collector of moments and I chase memories, instead of the material stuff. Less is more, and the motto is quality over quantity. You’d be amazed at how freeing it can be. I see myself as a free spirit that believes in an unconventional lifestyle. Somehow I go against the grain most of the times, not to rebel, but because it feels right to stay true to my unique and authentic self. It takes courage, and you often stand alone, but if you dare, you soon realize that it is the only way if you don’t want to lose who you are. Just like most, my past wasn’t easy and I come from a life that didn’t always give me the opportunity to be heard. Few related and even fewer cared to take the time. But that’s the past and it’s history, the future hasn’t happened and the “NOW” is truly all we ever have. In the end we all have a story to tell, and we all seek to be understood. We all yearn to be heard and accepted and still life is hard and our path is full of stumbling blocks. If we can see the lessons in adversity we may realize that the toughest moments are often our greatest teachers. There is a reason for the saying that the stars can’t shine without darkness, and it might be darkness that will show you the light.
It took a series of (un)fortunate events, to learn to glow through the pain, to learn how to dance in the rain. I believe in Magic and wonder, and the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. As an empath this old soul often feels a little too much, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Today, I am here to tell my story because I believe that it can help others. It is my hope to bring inspiration and strengths to you, while showing you that it can be done. I know you are out there, and I know you are suffering in silence. I am here to tell you that you are not alone, and your voice is being heard loud and clear. Hang on and be strong, transformation is yours. 
In light and love....Rhapsody Bohème 💙🦋

20 thoughts on “Ruled by pain

  1. You are speaking of the highs and lows we experience when a condition comes and goes, it’s a real emotional rollercoaster and the emotional journey alone sure takes its toll on us, even without figuring in the symptoms of the condition itself. When things are good, it’s easy to forget the problem ever existed and when it’s bad, it’s easy to doubt if life will ever be the same again. Gosh, all you say is speaking for me as well, and I know, for many. It sure can be hard, but you have turned it around, you are speaking for yourself and others of hope and faith and love. And yes, we are in it together and we can help each other through. I know it means the world to me when you have been there for me, time after time, it makes me feel loved and valued and that raises my spirits so much. x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes I am and its been a whole new experience since the RA. We all have highs and lows already but it’s new when you don’t know what day it will be like on a daily basis. It sure takes adjusting and i am blessed to have angels and goddesses in my life tagt help me carry the burden when things get tough. Xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Awe thank you so much. Words spoken from a truly wise soul who has experienced some pain himself and has gotten up more times than he has fallen. I see you and value your own journey.
      Yes you are right. I always look for the lessons, the silver lining and the glass is always half full. Despite of it and being a warrior, sometimes I do wish I caught that break and didn’t have to be that strong all the time. No pain, no gain right?
      Best wishes for you and thank you for stopping by. 😉❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh my sister! I am so sorry that your pain has returned with a vengeance. It is difficult to understand ‘Why Me?’ I am not sure, but I think the answer lies within our intestinal system. We are all different, but we all have trigger foods. I drank an artisan cider the other day (it was only a small amount) and paid the price with terrible cramps, upset stomach and headache. A few sips turned into a day of misery. Some hidden ingredient attacked me with gusto. So much for buying an unknown (I was at a music festival).

    This is an account of 10 success stories treating Rheumatoid Arthritis with diet… Perhaps some thing will resonate for you love!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I should add, my sister, that I have never looked at the McDougal diet before, but actually eat, almost exclusively, his recommended foods only. I came to this conclusion after following my own elimination diet (that started with wheat and eggs) for years of experimentation. Once, I couldn’t cross a room without intense pain and hobbling. Now, I can walk for miles. McDougal provides his dietary guidelines for free. The ten testimonials are truly amazing with each person finding a return of health without the need to use drugs. From their testimonies, it is also clear that Dr McDougal will respond personally if emailed directly.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Thank you so much my sister. I have gotten much better considered to how I was, but I’m never without pain and some days are harder then others.
      I believe you are right and I do too have trigger foods I have found out. And these 10 accounts and stories do resonate. Thank you so much. Big big Hugs

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Good that sometimes the pain subsides, I pray for complete recovery and a joyous life ahead.It’s natural for some of us to have struggles and barriers to cross before we reach the destination, where everything is calm or serene.Thanks a lot for sharing.

    Liked by 2 people

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