As predicted from my soul sister through an earlier Ogham reading, the pain eased up by the end of April – early May. Never completely pain free and despite of it, it was like receiving precious little gifts each day, being able to function just a little better. Being able to do things I couldn’t before, when it comes to house chores, and all the struggles trying to manage even the smallest of things on a day to day basis.
It’s quite amazing what a high it can be, how it fuels your willpower, how motivated and hopeful you become. You can’t help but to believe that the worst is behind you, that things are finally looking up and that your time has come to reap the rewards of all your suffering. After all, you’ve barely managed to keep hope alive and stay positive, but did somehow because it is engrained in your DNA, it’s who you are. Nothing can go wrong now, you have risen once more. Nothing can touch you as you remember the motivations behind the fight as to why you always believe in the positive, and see the glass half full. Why you always believe in the silver lining and the lessons that come with every life experience. Life is good isn’t it? You got this and you can manage this now.
But boy, when that pain comes back around, which most likely will if you are dealing with a chronic illness, although you hoped it to be gone forever, it is simply crippling and debilitating. It’s hard to remember the positives as fear and worry creeps in as faithful companions to the misery you are experiencing. Why did it come back? You’ve believed with all your heart that you have found a way, may it be through exercise, diet, positive mind frame, manifesting your realities, or whatever else it might be. It’s hard to remember the little successes and that in spite of the reoccurring pain, you have made tremendous strides. Pain has a way of wiping it all out, only making the current count. When the pain and those moments find their way back to you, leaving behind all the good, replaced by mostly darkness, vulnerability and fear. It has happened a few times since my overall getting better and finding my way back to a hopefully perfect recovery. It is important to recognize that those are the times and tests of the scariest of all moments, when we are challenged to find something to hold on to and to remember that “This too shall pass.” Even if it lasts for more than just moments and you find yourself fighting for a few days. Believe that it can dissipate and vanish as fast as it appeared, and hold on.
Stay strong out there and know that you are not alone. Your brothers and sisters are fighting alongside with you, allowing you to lean on their shoulders when you need a moment to rest. As always, the pain cycle will ease up again, letting you fly high above the clouds again, feeling proud that you managed to get up once more.
In light and love ❤️