Posted in Inspiration, Life, Mom

Milestone

Recently I got involved with felting, mostly wet felting, and have made a few things since then. One such thing is this purse, made of multi color felt. It was my first attempt at such a project and my biggest piece so far. The gold accent piece on the front used to be a necklace I was in the process of discarding. I decided to reclaim it and it lives on with a new purpose. The strap was also repurposed from another bag, and I loved the matching gold accents.

While in the process of making the bag, one day I showed it to Mom who immediately fell in love with it. At that time it looked more like a clutch, missing the strap. Throughout the process, Mom would ask several more times to see the bag, and kept expressing her interest and likes for the piece. It was then that I decided that it should be hers. I finished it off and on it’s way it went, to Germany, to be with Mom, for Mother’s Day and every day there after.

We usually talk every other day through FaceTime, and today Mom received a little added surprise when the package arrived. There was no waiting until Mother’s Day, and she opened it right away. I should have known, could I really expect different, that she would wait? I don’t think so. I wish I could have seen the surprise on her face, and I’m sure it was unexpected that this would be the content of the package. Still I could see the love and happiness all over her face, hours later as she took it upon herself to show me her treasure as if it hadn’t come from me. She was sharing it anew, showing it off with a big smile on her face. In the meantime a nurse entered the room and full of pride she offered to show her as well, commenting that her daughter had made and sent her this beautiful purse. It was at that point that my heart melted and where I knew with certainty that I did the right thing in sending it to her. I learned just how meaningful it was for her, and for one of the few times in our life’s together, I knew that she was proud of me. Coming to think of, handmade things have always been a bridge and a connection point for us. Something we share in common, something that can impress Mom, and something she values. Perhaps even most important, it was something she could contribute with, hold a conversation without feeling lost or knowing too little about. She knew a thing or two and could appreciate good workmanship, which in turn called for interaction exchanges.

While in Germany, I noticed that in all the years alone Mom had lost her joy for life. There were few things that made her happy these days, and she forgot to value and appreciate the things, if someone did something for her. I think she gotten used to having to fend for herself and to be on her own. She never got her drivers license, which left her vulnerable and dependent to some extend. I guess her way of gratitude was displayed in the form of her paying her way through life in monetary form. Somewhere along those lines common courtesy gestures such as saying thank you fell to the wayside and just stayed unspoken. There were many things I did/bought for Mom while being there and it always was a somewhat uncomfortable moment for her. Something she simply wasn’t used to. She would try to quickly change the subject and distract the conversation into a new direction. I would try to work with her, to verbalize her gratitude and learn to say thank you again in a relaxed and playing manner. I know she understood and yet it remained uncomfortable for her to say a simple “Thank you”. She never did and I didn’t pressure the subject, but I would always gently tell her “You’re welcome” as if in response to her telling me her thank you’s.

I didn’t do it today though and her happiness was evident. It was enough to witness, and it wasn’t a matter of her thanking me for what I had done, that was never the point and what I was after. She was so proud and happy today, but most of all it was clear as day that she had found her joy in life again, in a small thing that made such a big difference. I couldn’t have asked for anything more, but she would hold a surprise for me as well that was yet to come. She was ready and it was time to take another step…even if it wasn’t the physical kind I wish she could also take.

It was at the end of our conversation that she said “All of my many thanks and gratitude to you, for my bag” and smiled. To have experienced such a milestone with her and such a happy moment in a place she still struggles to adjust to, is simply priceless and something I will carry in my heart forever, and for all times to come. 💙

Author:

Who am I, and why I write. I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I am the one, holding on to the silver lining when the skies are gray. I’m a believer that nothing is coincidence, but that everything has purpose. I’ve made my mistakes, don’t we all, but I see them as growing pains and they are a part of who I am today. I have lost myself in order to find myself, and I still do from time to time, but in a good way. I’m a big child who laughs until my belly hurts when life wants to be serious. Career wise: I’ve been there, done that, and I took “The jump” off the hamster wheel in an effort to change my future. I didn’t land all that soft, but I can say that I’m still proud to have found the courage to do it. Coming full circle, I had it all, and yet I was lonely and had nothing. Today I choose to be a collector of moments and I chase memories, instead of the material stuff. Less is more, and the motto is quality over quantity. You’d be amazed at how freeing it can be. I see myself as a free spirit that believes in an unconventional lifestyle. Somehow I go against the grain most of the times, not to rebel, but because it feels right to stay true to my unique and authentic self. It takes courage, and you often stand alone, but if you dare, you soon realize that it is the only way if you don’t want to lose who you are. Just like most, my past wasn’t easy and I come from a life that didn’t always give me the opportunity to be heard. Few related and even fewer cared to take the time. But that’s the past and it’s history, the future hasn’t happened and the “NOW” is truly all we ever have. In the end we all have a story to tell, and we all seek to be understood. We all yearn to be heard and accepted and still life is hard and our path is full of stumbling blocks. If we can see the lessons in adversity we may realize that the toughest moments are often our greatest teachers. There is a reason for the saying that the stars can’t shine without darkness, and it might be darkness that will show you the light.
It took a series of (un)fortunate events, to learn to glow through the pain, to learn how to dance in the rain. I believe in Magic and wonder, and the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. As an empath this old soul often feels a little too much, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Today, I am here to tell my story because I believe that it can help others. It is my hope to bring inspiration and strengths to you, while showing you that it can be done. I know you are out there, and I know you are suffering in silence. I am here to tell you that you are not alone, and your voice is being heard loud and clear. Hang on and be strong, transformation is yours. 
In light and love....Rhapsody Bohème 💙🦋

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