It’s been awhile that I have talked about Mom and our journey on here. So many of you have been with me from the beginning, supporting me, and I feel that I have left you hanging a bit, while I was trying to find my way again, getting over some hurdles.
It’s been a tough three month being back in the states, mainly due to struggling with my health and the worst winter in ten years. Go figure, but things are finally looking up. My days are still a mixed bag, but I think overall there is progress and the RA might be easing off. Maybe it’s because the weather is finally turning, maybe it’s because I am full of adrenaline and excitement to chase my dreams. Maybe it is because things are finally moving on and I have accepted a few things for what they are. It doesn’t really matter as long as things continue to improve.
Fact is that Mom struggles to realize how bad things have been for me. Her fears take over at times and she simply can’t understand. There is a re-evaluation scheduled later this week to determine the level of care she requires, which in turn will determine what kind of financial support she receives. She is all upset about it, can’t understand what they want from her, and wants is to go home. I am solely responsible to make this happen for her and she doesn’t want to hear that I have not been well. What a scary time it must be for her and my heart goes out to her even throughout her stubborn phases. She hasn’t talked to me since Friday of last week and I don’t know if something is wrong with the iPad or if she simply is blowing me off. It wouldn’t be the first time and all I can do is wait.
The evaluation should be a good thing for her, although there are pros and cons. The good thing is that she is doing much better compared to last year where she was on her deathbed, but it could also mean less monetary support. She doesn’t care and there is no reasoning with her. I know that everything will find it’s way, all I can do is to strive for my best, to be strong for her, and to keep the faith.
I got to clear out the house a bit today. Well moving things from one place to another is more like it, while making a pile for a garage sale. It felt good, I felt a little lighter, less burdened afterwards, and it was more than I could do in recent weeks passed. It’s a start and I hope the hurt in my wrist is just temporary and will go away. The swelling in my left hand has improved to the point that I can almost make a fist again, and that’s good news. Mars retrograde is still in full swing, and while it can be a time of struggle for many, I think it has been a phase or clarity for me. I’d like to think that I’m back on track. Oh, and I finally heard back from the job today and learned that the Spanish speaking candidate was selected for the position. It’s all good and how things are suppose to be.
I am keeping the faith…
Sending you hugs, healing thoughts, and peaceful thoughts. I know it’s been a tough journey! ❤
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Thank you dear friend, it truly has. But what do I always say? Everything that doesn’t kill us makes us only stronger. I think I am strong enough don’t awhile 😉
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I agree!!! ❤
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I was thinking about your job frustrations and wondered something. Perhaps it’s cuz the universe knows you will be heading back across the water soon? All we can do is relax and let go of the junk around us. Starting in your own next is getting you ready to sort hers out. I’m terrified to go home and do that.. love you much.
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Amen to letting go of the junk around us. I think the universe has indeed different plans for me and is tying to give me a head start while it is still possible and I am not fully dependent on earning a living. Love you more ❤️
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Rhapsody, keep the faith my dear!
Your mom maybe needs some time, I’m sure it’ll be alright my dear..
It’s been a long journey, but it’s worth, I’m sure.
I hope you’re feeling good and that your health got better…
always thinking about you and praying for you.
Love you❤️
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You are such a special soul Saraa, thank you so much. Faith and love are my two swords and have been by my side for a long time. This is a warriors journey after all and giving up is not optional 😉. Hugs
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Wishing all the best for you and your mother, Rhapsody. As you said, a general positive outlook, a brightness, can really help. I’ve noticed that with my place. I’ve recently done some rearrangement, cleaning up, and given a lot of books to the Salvation Army. It’s kind of a positive cycle of reinforcement, because living in pleasant surroundings is encouraging and energising.
Here in Australia, my mother’s benefits depend on her assets, and they seem to change from no apparent reason as the bureaucrats do their calculations. I have disputed them in the past and reached a compromise, but it’s hard work, and after a while they make another change and wind up getting their way.
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Thank you so much Steve. We had the evaluation but have not heard any results yet, and everything is still in the air. So I yet have to find out what we are dealing with. I appreciate your feedback and you sharing this with me. Thank you ❤️
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My pleasure, Rhapsody.
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