Posted in Mom, My story

This and that

It’s been awhile that I have talked about Mom and our journey on here. So many of you have been with me from the beginning, supporting me, and I feel that I have left you hanging a bit, while I was trying to find my way again, getting over some hurdles.

It’s been a tough three month being back in the states, mainly due to struggling with my health and the worst winter in ten years. Go figure, but things are finally looking up. My days are still a mixed bag, but I think overall there is progress and the RA might be easing off. Maybe it’s because the weather is finally turning, maybe it’s because I am full of adrenaline and excitement to chase my dreams. Maybe it is because things are finally moving on and I have accepted a few things for what they are. It doesn’t really matter as long as things continue to improve.

Fact is that Mom struggles to realize how bad things have been for me. Her fears take over at times and she simply can’t understand. There is a re-evaluation scheduled later this week to determine the level of care she requires, which in turn will determine what kind of financial support she receives. She is all upset about it, can’t understand what they want from her, and wants is to go home. I am solely responsible to make this happen for her and she doesn’t want to hear that I have not been well. What a scary time it must be for her and my heart goes out to her even throughout her stubborn phases. She hasn’t talked to me since Friday of last week and I don’t know if something is wrong with the iPad or if she simply is blowing me off. It wouldn’t be the first time and all I can do is wait.

The evaluation should be a good thing for her, although there are pros and cons. The good thing is that she is doing much better compared to last year where she was on her deathbed, but it could also mean less monetary support. She doesn’t care and there is no reasoning with her. I know that everything will find it’s way, all I can do is to strive for my best, to be strong for her, and to keep the faith.

I got to clear out the house a bit today. Well moving things from one place to another is more like it, while making a pile for a garage sale. It felt good, I felt a little lighter, less burdened afterwards, and it was more than I could do in recent weeks passed. It’s a start and I hope the hurt in my wrist is just temporary and will go away. The swelling in my left hand has improved to the point that I can almost make a fist again, and that’s good news. Mars retrograde is still in full swing, and while it can be a time of struggle for many, I think it has been a phase or clarity for me. I’d like to think that I’m back on track. Oh, and I finally heard back from the job today and learned that the Spanish speaking candidate was selected for the position. It’s all good and how things are suppose to be.

I am keeping the faith…

Author:

Who am I, and why I write. I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I am the one, holding on to the silver lining when the skies are gray. I’m a believer that nothing is coincidence, but that everything has purpose. I’ve made my mistakes, don’t we all, but I see them as growing pains and they are a part of who I am today. I have lost myself in order to find myself, and I still do from time to time, but in a good way. I’m a big child who laughs until my belly hurts when life wants to be serious. Career wise: I’ve been there, done that, and I took “The jump” off the hamster wheel in an effort to change my future. I didn’t land all that soft, but I can say that I’m still proud to have found the courage to do it. Coming full circle, I had it all, and yet I was lonely and had nothing. Today I choose to be a collector of moments and I chase memories, instead of the material stuff. Less is more, and the motto is quality over quantity. You’d be amazed at how freeing it can be. I see myself as a free spirit that believes in an unconventional lifestyle. Somehow I go against the grain most of the times, not to rebel, but because it feels right to stay true to my unique and authentic self. It takes courage, and you often stand alone, but if you dare, you soon realize that it is the only way if you don’t want to lose who you are. Just like most, my past wasn’t easy and I come from a life that didn’t always give me the opportunity to be heard. Few related and even fewer cared to take the time. But that’s the past and it’s history, the future hasn’t happened and the “NOW” is truly all we ever have. In the end we all have a story to tell, and we all seek to be understood. We all yearn to be heard and accepted and still life is hard and our path is full of stumbling blocks. If we can see the lessons in adversity we may realize that the toughest moments are often our greatest teachers. There is a reason for the saying that the stars can’t shine without darkness, and it might be darkness that will show you the light.
It took a series of (un)fortunate events, to learn to glow through the pain, to learn how to dance in the rain. I believe in Magic and wonder, and the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. As an empath this old soul often feels a little too much, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Today, I am here to tell my story because I believe that it can help others. It is my hope to bring inspiration and strengths to you, while showing you that it can be done. I know you are out there, and I know you are suffering in silence. I am here to tell you that you are not alone, and your voice is being heard loud and clear. Hang on and be strong, transformation is yours. 
In light and love....Rhapsody Bohème 💙🦋

11 thoughts on “This and that

  1. I was thinking about your job frustrations and wondered something. Perhaps it’s cuz the universe knows you will be heading back across the water soon? All we can do is relax and let go of the junk around us. Starting in your own next is getting you ready to sort hers out. I’m terrified to go home and do that.. love you much.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Amen to letting go of the junk around us. I think the universe has indeed different plans for me and is tying to give me a head start while it is still possible and I am not fully dependent on earning a living. Love you more ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Rhapsody, keep the faith my dear!
    Your mom maybe needs some time, I’m sure it’ll be alright my dear..
    It’s been a long journey, but it’s worth, I’m sure.

    I hope you’re feeling good and that your health got better…
    always thinking about you and praying for you.

    Love you❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wishing all the best for you and your mother, Rhapsody. As you said, a general positive outlook, a brightness, can really help. I’ve noticed that with my place. I’ve recently done some rearrangement, cleaning up, and given a lot of books to the Salvation Army. It’s kind of a positive cycle of reinforcement, because living in pleasant surroundings is encouraging and energising.

    Here in Australia, my mother’s benefits depend on her assets, and they seem to change from no apparent reason as the bureaucrats do their calculations. I have disputed them in the past and reached a compromise, but it’s hard work, and after a while they make another change and wind up getting their way.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Steve. We had the evaluation but have not heard any results yet, and everything is still in the air. So I yet have to find out what we are dealing with. I appreciate your feedback and you sharing this with me. Thank you ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

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