Posted in Life, Mom

I wish you enough…

I came across a little article titled “I wish you enough”, that spoke to me on many different levels. It stirred back emotions, worries and fears, especially today, after a not so good conversation with Mom. I know there will be “those” from time to time, and I know that it is her own fear that is driving her behavior at times.

I wish you enough reminded me of saying goodbye to Mom the last two times I have been to Germany. Once she was in the hospital, sick, and the last time I left her behind safe, but in a place she doesn’t care to be. Although there have been many goodbyes over the course of nearly thirty years away, it is those last two that are burned into my memory. Easily some of the content of this article could be applied to those times, never knowing if it would be our very last goodbye. I can tell you that it weighs very heavy on you, and it will taint your soul with worry and fear.

Perhaps in our case the roles are reversed and it is me who is the one to say I wish you enough. Perhaps it is both of us and I know you care in your own way. You just can’t express love, because it was love and being vulnerable that has hurt you and broke your heart. Regardless of the reason and whether you say it or not, I already know, don’t worry. But today it is me to say to you “I wish you enough”….

I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport as the daughters departure had been announced. Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said “I love you and I wish you enough”. The daughter replied “Mom our life together has been more than enough”. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough too Mom. They kissed and the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window where I sat.

Standing there, I could see she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking “Did you ever say goodbye to someone knowing it would be forever?” “Yes I have,” I replied. “Forgive me for asking but why is this a forever goodbye?”

“I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is the next trip back will be for my funeral”, she said. When you were saying goodbye I heard you say “I wish you enough”. May I ask what that means? She began to smile. “That’s a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.”

She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even more. “When we said “I wish you enough” we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them. Then turning toward me she shared the following, reciting it from memory-

“I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright. I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more. I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive. I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger. I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting. I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess. I wish you enough hello’s to get you through the final goodbye.” She then began to cry and walked away.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person. An hour to appreciate them. A day to love them. And an entire life to forget them.

You are not forgotten and I wish you enough….

Author:

Who am I, and why I write. I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I am the one, holding on to the silver lining when the skies are gray. I’m a believer that nothing is coincidence, but that everything has purpose. I’ve made my mistakes, don’t we all, but I see them as growing pains and they are a part of who I am today. I have lost myself in order to find myself, and I still do from time to time, but in a good way. I’m a big child who laughs until my belly hurts when life wants to be serious. Career wise: I’ve been there, done that, and I took “The jump” off the hamster wheel in an effort to change my future. I didn’t land all that soft, but I can say that I’m still proud to have found the courage to do it. Coming full circle, I had it all, and yet I was lonely and had nothing. Today I choose to be a collector of moments and I chase memories, instead of the material stuff. Less is more, and the motto is quality over quantity. You’d be amazed at how freeing it can be. I see myself as a free spirit that believes in an unconventional lifestyle. Somehow I go against the grain most of the times, not to rebel, but because it feels right to stay true to my unique and authentic self. It takes courage, and you often stand alone, but if you dare, you soon realize that it is the only way if you don’t want to lose who you are. Just like most, my past wasn’t easy and I come from a life that didn’t always give me the opportunity to be heard. Few related and even fewer cared to take the time. But that’s the past and it’s history, the future hasn’t happened and the “NOW” is truly all we ever have. In the end we all have a story to tell, and we all seek to be understood. We all yearn to be heard and accepted and still life is hard and our path is full of stumbling blocks. If we can see the lessons in adversity we may realize that the toughest moments are often our greatest teachers. There is a reason for the saying that the stars can’t shine without darkness, and it might be darkness that will show you the light.
It took a series of (un)fortunate events, to learn to glow through the pain, to learn how to dance in the rain. I believe in Magic and wonder, and the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. As an empath this old soul often feels a little too much, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Today, I am here to tell my story because I believe that it can help others. It is my hope to bring inspiration and strengths to you, while showing you that it can be done. I know you are out there, and I know you are suffering in silence. I am here to tell you that you are not alone, and your voice is being heard loud and clear. Hang on and be strong, transformation is yours. 
In light and love....Rhapsody Bohème 💙🦋

8 thoughts on “I wish you enough…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s