Posted in Dreams, Inspiration, My story

“Maybe”

There have been a lot of “maybe’s” lately. Things and thoughts that occupy my mind, begging me to consider different angels, and out of the box thinking approach. What’s really next, where do I go from here?

Maybe soon my health will be under control, and warmer weather with less storm patterns will bring improvements, and less pain. Maybe I can actually get some stuff done then.

Maybe I won’t feel so tired and fatigued. Maybe I could read more blogs and respond to comments in a more timely fashion. I definitely owe it to you. Maybe I could do more for all of you. Maybe…

I don’t work, and yet getting healthy and well has been hard work. Draining, especially when a good night sleep is scarce and interrupted by pain that never stops. It surely is trying sometimes, and the tears fall trying to understand the lesson or what is going on. Maybe better times are around the corner.

Maybe I need to step away from blogging on a regular / daily basis for awhile. It feels strange to consider such thought and yet today was the first time it popped into my head. I think it was actually a message I got the other day that prompted me to consider where I currently spend my time, energy, and strength on. All I know is that I can’t do it all and there is simply not enough time in the day for me.

Maybe my hands could get better, typing less, looking after my fingers. Maybe…But then maybe movement is exactly what they need. Who knows what will actually make the inflammation go away.

I have been job hunting, but nothing has really grabbed me, or has been meant to be. Yet I have tons of creative ideas with old and new found projects that I want to explore, and to which I feel drawn to. Things I am excited about, things that beckon me to imagine and manifest the life I seek. Things that call on me to be realized, dreams to materialize, if only I find the courage to dare.

Maybe, this ordinary job search is not how the path is suppose to unfold. Will I manage and muster the strength to reach for the stars, to create something extraordinary, to have faith during the unknown, to stay the course, or will I do the same as always and find myself lost in the shuffle. You see, if we do the same as always, we also get the same results as always, and somehow these results are no longer enough for me.

It’s not about the six figure income, the money, the titles or the prestige, to be the best in your field, the success or being the head honcho. I had it all and it’s not what I want anymore. What it boils down to is to be fulfilled, to have something meaningful, something that brings joy, no matter how little or small it might be. I don’t want the same….I want something else, something I perhaps never had before. I gladly give up my possessions to become richer as I fully embrace the less is more concept. I want to work for myself, I want to create and give back, to help people and bring something special to the table, something unique, something that allows my passion and talents take flight, to offer a service, to finally listen to the call.

In the meantime I am exploring my options, and I am working on some projects to support these dreams. The goal is to die young and as late as possible, with a life, independent, collecting moments and memories in a tiny home on wheels. Let’s see how far this can go. A determined mind is a powerful one, and I have always believed in the strength that we can do anything if we put our mind to it.

A dear friend and sister of mine always says that there are no ordinary moments. I believe she is right and everything happens for a reason. Maybe the path has always been predetermined, maybe we just need to learn to let go and go with the flow. What if everything in life has lead up to this point? Maybe, just maybe everything is exactly how it is meant to be.

Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything.

Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.

What a wild ride….maybe….just maybe….

Author:

Who am I, and why I write. I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I am the one, holding on to the silver lining when the skies are gray. I’m a believer that nothing is coincidence, but that everything has purpose. I’ve made my mistakes, don’t we all, but I see them as growing pains and they are a part of who I am today. I have lost myself in order to find myself, and I still do from time to time, but in a good way. I’m a big child who laughs until my belly hurts when life wants to be serious. Career wise: I’ve been there, done that, and I took “The jump” off the hamster wheel in an effort to change my future. I didn’t land all that soft, but I can say that I’m still proud to have found the courage to do it. Coming full circle, I had it all, and yet I was lonely and had nothing. Today I choose to be a collector of moments and I chase memories, instead of the material stuff. Less is more, and the motto is quality over quantity. You’d be amazed at how freeing it can be. I see myself as a free spirit that believes in an unconventional lifestyle. Somehow I go against the grain most of the times, not to rebel, but because it feels right to stay true to my unique and authentic self. It takes courage, and you often stand alone, but if you dare, you soon realize that it is the only way if you don’t want to lose who you are. Just like most, my past wasn’t easy and I come from a life that didn’t always give me the opportunity to be heard. Few related and even fewer cared to take the time. But that’s the past and it’s history, the future hasn’t happened and the “NOW” is truly all we ever have. In the end we all have a story to tell, and we all seek to be understood. We all yearn to be heard and accepted and still life is hard and our path is full of stumbling blocks. If we can see the lessons in adversity we may realize that the toughest moments are often our greatest teachers. There is a reason for the saying that the stars can’t shine without darkness, and it might be darkness that will show you the light.
It took a series of (un)fortunate events, to learn to glow through the pain, to learn how to dance in the rain. I believe in Magic and wonder, and the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. As an empath this old soul often feels a little too much, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Today, I am here to tell my story because I believe that it can help others. It is my hope to bring inspiration and strengths to you, while showing you that it can be done. I know you are out there, and I know you are suffering in silence. I am here to tell you that you are not alone, and your voice is being heard loud and clear. Hang on and be strong, transformation is yours. 
In light and love....Rhapsody Bohème 💙🦋

12 thoughts on ““Maybe”

  1. I believe that your journey is about unbecoming the old you, leaving way for a newer, happier, better you who doesn’t suffer so much.
    Just know that you are loved, and prayed for, and perhaps that will help. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow! It’s like reading my own mind here. I am not fulfilled in my current place in life, but I have hope that there is something out there that is more suited for my mental well-being.
    I have every bit of faith that you and I can find those things that will appeal to our souls!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Beautiful, and painful. Maybe we just have no other option but to let go and trust, eventually. But if we are the creators of our own reality, which I believe we are, then we get what we expect. So, let’s expect miracles. You are an inspiration to me and many. You are simply remarkable, my sister. You are never alone and I believe you will find all your miracles are waiting for you just around the corner. I pray they are. xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Expect miracles was a message from a tarot card I drew back in Germany and I need to revisit this, especially now. I am working on creating my reality and need to remember that anything is possible. I always believe in the silver lining and I have seen a few miracles come to term. Hugs xo

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Maybe… Something seeming very stagnating can actually be a ‘holding back for our own good.’ You have the answer, we are perhaps being forced to stop and observe ourselves for a while. I certainly feel this too. Every step that I take forward… Something seems to invisibly push me two steps back. Stay strong in your thoughts Rhapsody. 💕💕💕

    Liked by 1 person

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