My girlfriend recently sent me a picture, taken of Mom holding my girlfriends granddaughter Mina. Mom has always loved children and it hasn’t changed. You can see it all over her face, and it’s a big deal when my cousins kids come to visit, or like in this case my girlfriend or anyone else with kids drops by.
I have to admit that I had times where I walked down memory lane, wondering how things would have developed if I could have given Mom grandchildren. How things would have been different. Why even go there and entertain the thought you might wonder. Well it’s not something I dwell on, it just occasionally crosses my mind. As things were bad between Mom and I, I wondered if she had hard feelings towards me for that reason, for never giving her grandchildren, and if it was a part of her thinking so little of me. It’s strange where our minds go sometimes, and I have never asked her. We couldn’t talk about things like that at all until my trip to Germany last year when she finally opened up a bit.
It took a lot of work to establish a somewhat normal relationship with Mom, and this month marks the one year anniversary of when this journey got started. It is easy to look back and visualize all the challenges we faced within that past year. I will never forget that first day as I saw her in the hospital. She looked near death, but was still stubborn as hell and didn’t even acknowledge me. She wanted little to do with me back then, and to this day I am not sure what all she blamed me for. That however turned into history, eventually, and besides all the hardship we, and I endured, we also had tremendous successes that resulted into a relationship today. Everything was hard work, but everything worthwhile is always hard. No matter how difficult everything was, these efforts and fights are not to be forgotten, and overall we succeeded and prevailed. All of us.