Posted in Mom, Technology

An “Epic” day

This picture was shot overlooking Moraine Lake in Canada. It was an epic day I will never forgot, and gosh Canada…you are beautiful. This trip is a few years old, but I remember driving the Icefield Parkway as if it was yesterday. I still see the bears (my favorite animal) walking alongside of the road, and after each turn was another majestic peak to be admired. I will definitely be back some day.

Today was another epic day, although of a completely different nature. For the first time I got to face time with my 80 year young Mom. It was nothing short of a breakthrough considering that she has spent most of her life within her four walls, alone.

A few days ago I purchased an iPad for her as an early Christmas present, and for when I’m gone. It was very important for me to be able to contact her and talk to her on a daily basis. It’s the next best thing besides being there in person. It was last Sunday that I set everything up for her and we did a few test runs. Then came my day at home on Monday and I called 24 times the iPad told me today, with no avail. I couldn’t figure out why she would not answer and today I found out why. On the lock screen you actually have to swipe to accept a call vs just hitting the button. Bless it lol, and today Mom learned how to swipe.

After leaving for the day, and arriving back at home, I called her and she answered. It was such an amazing feeling, and I was so happy to FaceTime with her. It was epic on a whole other level and she smiled from ear to ear. Tomorrow morning we are going to try again, and with practice I hope it will become second nature and easier for her to use.

I’m closing and in cases like this we are blessed to have today’s technology. I know there is much controversy around it, about forgetting how to interact as humans and everybody just starring at their screens. But to be able to stay in touch and see each other over thousands of miles away, is pretty significant and awesome I think.

Posted in Life, Mom

Fully aware

Time is racing and I’m trying to make the best out of the time I still have left with Mom. I haven’t written much and have fought mental exhaustion. I don’t work and yet I don’t have the time. A strange concept I never understood until now. It’s quite possible to get stuck in a day to day routine that leaves little time for else. I know it’s not helping that I still battle pains from the chronic RA and the stresses of months past. I accomplish more on some days vs others and my life quality varies from day to day.

Soon I will find myself high above the clouds on the long journey back to the states. It’s such a bittersweet feeling and although I’m looking forward to my life the way it was before, I’m worried. Nothing is the same and everything has changed. Few things for the better, but there is plenty left to worry about. I know what you are thinking. Stay positive and don’t worry. Things will always work out as intended. Life finds a way, and you are right. I’m merely stating some current thoughts and emotions as time draws near and it helps to get them off of my chest.

Not all days are equal, and more and more the darkness creeps in and tries to overwhelm me. I try to stay busy, to keep my thoughts in check. It’s when I rest, get up in the morning and finish the day, that it is worse. I know that I simply have too much time on my hands to let my thoughts wander. Of course I know and made good headways today. I got a lot done and tomorrow is another full day trying to accomplish all things that need to be done. I think it’s quite miraculous how some things have worked out on my time table. Someone came by to read the water gauge which is an annual event. Luckily it happened while I was here, on my day away from Mom and while still in Germany. The same happened with a few parcels, which arrived in the same miraculous way. Someone high above is watching out for me. Thank you.

A big peace of mind is that I bought Mom a iPad for Christmas. I spent a few hours setting it up with her yesterday. For the first time in her life my 80 year old mother has an email address and a Pinterest account. We FaceTime’d while I was there yesterday and she still is a big rusty of what to do. She stares at the screen but doesn’t make the connection yet to hit the green button to accept the call. Today I didn’t get a hold of her and we need much more practice until I go. I will have to write some things down for her. It brings me some peace of mind and comfort to be able to reach her once I’m gone, if we manage the process and I’m very hopeful.

Posted in Christmas, Europe, Holidays

Christmas spirit

It’s been ages since I spent Christmas in Germany, and I have always dreamed of being here for the holidays. Although my favorite time of year, it was a time that made me homesick and sad while in the states. And now that I’m here things once again have turned out a lot different as imagined. We change and so do our life’s. We don’t stay the same, our experiences change, although our memories from times past may always stay the same. This Christmas is different as the ones I remember from my childhood. Mom is at a nursing home and we haven’t baked any cookies together. We haven’t gone sledding down the hill with our dog chasing after us. There haven’t been any cozy evenings of crafting straw stars and ornaments, while drinking spiced cider and Glühwein. Times have changed and what I held onto all these years were the memories of the past. We all have them, and not all are bad, some actually warm our hearts.

Life always has a few curveballs in store for us and things seldom go smooth. Perhaps sometimes it’s best not to imagine or expect anything at all. It might sound negative, but by nature I am an optimist, and still can’t help but wonder if the perfect scenarios even exist. Would we learn something if they did? More times then none we have to roll with the punches and our successes and challenges lie in learning to do it well. And to learn not to resist, I think is an additional asset that will assure success.

I am here for Christmas this year, and despite the pros and cons, it is nice to re-emerge into some of our German cultures. I am exited to visit the Christmas markets and catch the spirit admiring the lit up booths, lining up the old inner cities. Many handmade items will be on display and I’m sure that I won’t be able to resist a little souvenir. I am looking forward to taking some picture and watch people mingle.

The picture above showcases the lit up Christmas tree in my village and a little red ginger that has taken refuge under the tree.

Posted in Destiny, Inspiration

Big and small moments

There will be moments big and small in your life, some of which will leave you feeling pretty small in the great big theme of things. Some moments will be very painful that will change your entire world in a matter of minutes. These moments will change you. Let them make you stronger, smarter, and kinder. But don’t you go and become someone that you’re not. You are not a victim. When it hurts – observe. Life is trying to teach you something. Cry. Scream if you have to. Then you straighten out that crown and keep moving. The choice is yours to grow or to be defined by your experiences.

Picture of Angie on the pretty, giant bench.

Posted in Inspiration, Soul

The ancient ways

Our soul always has a way of knowing and our soul purpose has been decided since ancient times.

Somewhere, deep in your memory, you know the ancient ways.

This is why you find yourself drawn by a deep seeded urge.

An urge so powerful that you don’t even question it, or fight it.

You long for it!!!

Posted in Europe, Mountains

Sacred Space

“Your sacred space is where you can find yourself over and over again.”

~Joseph Campbell

Mine happens to be in Mother Nature and in places like this. This picture was taken high above Mittenwald on top of the Karwendel mountain range.

A giant telescope is hanging over the cliff side to view The Valley below and other surrounding peaks. The clouds rolled in later that afternoon and added additional drama, swallowing up entire mountain peaks. The weather can change quickly in the mountains, always be prepared.

Posted in Animals, Inspiration

A little cuteness

Just a little cuteness to start your day with this little rascal that stole some of my Chex mix.

I truly have missed seeing all the critters such as this one over the past 10 month while being here in Germany. Believe me, there are critters here too, but they are far not as cute as this little guy, and the ones here were stinging and biting me, leaving big, itchy and often painful marks that are still visible month later. Simply incredible and it won’t be a thing I will miss.

I won’t miss the humidity either, although even there was something good to be found, and I wasn’t in need of a moisturizer at all. My skin looked good without and had a natural glow. This will change when I return to my dry desert landscape. I have to say that allergies where at a minimum too, and where I needed daily eye drops multiple times throughout the day in the states, I haven’t used any at all here. It’s pretty incredible given that it was one of the worst years for allergies.

As with everything there is always good and bad, give and take, push and pull. The trick lies is picking the things that serve us best and incorporate them I to our daily lives as best as we can.

Posted in Anxiety, Inspiration

Anxiety

I lied and said I was busy.

I was busy; but not in a way most people understand.

I was busy taking deeper breaths.

I was busy silencing irrational thoughts.

I was busy calming a racing heart.

I was busy telling myself I am okay.

Sometimes, this is my busy, and I will not apologize for it.

B. Oakman / Anxiety doesn’t knock first