Posted in Life, My story

Full circle moment

Today felt like a full circle moment. My last day before leaving for Germany was spent here at Muir Beach, California. Today my first day back was spent here also, as if I said goodbye ten month ago and hello again today.

I didn’t play the ukulele like I originally thought I would again as I am still recovering. One thing was apparent today and that was the decline in my health compared to ten month ago. I am still in quite a bit of discomfort and pain, and I don’t rest well because of it. The stresses of months passed have left their scars and I hope to smooth them over a bit in the weeks ahead to improve my quality of life.

Today was bittersweet. Moments filled with love and joy, and moments filled with flashbacks, worries and matters unresolved.

Reminder to myself: One step at a time. Break it down, not everything has to happen at once. Allow yourself to breathe and most of all, give yourself some love and a break. You deserve it, and you gave nothing but your absolute best. Remember that some things are out of your control and that they will always find their way, just how they are meant to be.


Who am I, and why I write. I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I am the one, holding on to the silver lining when the skies are gray. I’m a believer that nothing is coincidence, but that everything has purpose. I’ve made my mistakes, don’t we all, but I see them as growing pains and they are a part of who I am today. I have lost myself in order to find myself, and I still do from time to time, but in a good way. I’m a big child who laughs until my belly hurts when life wants to be serious. Career wise: I’ve been there, done that, and I took “The jump” off the hamster wheel in an effort to change my future. I didn’t land all that soft, but I can say that I’m still proud to have found the courage to do it. Coming full circle, I had it all, and yet I was lonely and had nothing. Today I choose to be a collector of moments and I chase memories, instead of the material stuff. Less is more, and the motto is quality over quantity. You’d be amazed at how freeing it can be. I see myself as a free spirit that believes in an unconventional lifestyle. Somehow I go against the grain most of the times, not to rebel, but because it feels right to stay true to my unique and authentic self. It takes courage, and you often stand alone, but if you dare, you soon realize that it is the only way if you don’t want to lose who you are. Just like most, my past wasn’t easy and I come from a life that didn’t always give me the opportunity to be heard. Few related and even fewer cared to take the time. But that’s the past and it’s history, the future hasn’t happened and the “NOW” is truly all we ever have. In the end we all have a story to tell, and we all seek to be understood. We all yearn to be heard and accepted and still life is hard and our path is full of stumbling blocks. If we can see the lessons in adversity we may realize that the toughest moments are often our greatest teachers. There is a reason for the saying that the stars can’t shine without darkness, and it might be darkness that will show you the light.
It took a series of (un)fortunate events, to learn to glow through the pain, to learn how to dance in the rain. I believe in Magic and wonder, and the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. As an empath this old soul often feels a little too much, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Today, I am here to tell my story because I believe that it can help others. It is my hope to bring inspiration and strengths to you, while showing you that it can be done. I know you are out there, and I know you are suffering in silence. I am here to tell you that you are not alone, and your voice is being heard loud and clear. Hang on and be strong, transformation is yours. 
In light and love....Rhapsody Bohème 💙🦋

5 thoughts on “Full circle moment

  1. Wow… I hadn’t realized that you spent 10 months in Germany. Time does fly by. I am sorry to read that the stresses in your life have taken a toll on your health, and I hope, as 2019 is about to start, that you will get better soon. Somehow, it must be confusing for your heart to be returning home, and leaving home, at the same time… *Big hugs*

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Rest and replenish your soul my Sister. Yes, full circle trips feel almost dream like. It is as though the intervening time never happened, though you are fully aware that it did. Hopefully, the change in climate and daylight will help your body to heal. Your emotions will need longer. I feel your rawness and your frustration that you cannot be in two places at once. But you can. You can visit your Mom in your mind any time you want. Feel yourself entering her room and comforting her while she sleeps. It can be a morning ritual that will heal you both.
    Be patient, your health will some back and you will feel whole again. 💕💕💕💕


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