Posted in Life, My story

The Journey continues

It’s not always easy to have a positive outlook, and sometimes life is simply tough. Still the way we view things is one of our best attributes. It makes or breaks us. It teaches or defines, and it definitely makes life a whole lot easier if we can accept our fate gracefully, believe me.

I have learned so much this year in Germany. Some things new and some expanded on a deeper level to what I already knew. There is a calm most days in me now, although I’m fearful of leaving. Mom has changed since I told her that I’m going, and I can see her struggle plain as day. I know she is afraid and most days the sadness marks deep lines all over her face. Yet she can’t articulate any of it. It breaks my heart to see her like this, and I want to wrap her up in a tight hug and ensure her that all will be ok. I’m not sure that she can believe it once I’m gone, and once she is on her own. She is such a fighter, such a strong women, and yet she is so vulnerable and lost. She is unaware and inexperienced about most anything in life. It comes from a life within her own four walls. A life with little to no entertainment besides the TV. I truly think that she enjoyed all the things we did together which ultimately broadened her horizon. It has given her purpose to live, excited to face each day and see what could be discovered new. That purpose, ME, is leaving in a month.

A new chapter begins as I leave and yet nothing is over or settled. It’s merely another phase that begins, and besides the worries about her, other troubles of a different kind are already waiting. Further fights beckon to be embarked on. Nothing is over although it is. It will be a while until I can lay my weapons down, but each battle should restore more peace within.

Just like Mom has discovered new things every day, so am I as I continue on this journey. My life has been in motion for awhile, but it is now or never that I have to reach for the stars. If I want my dreams to be reality and dreaming is no longer enough, then the time to act is now. It is strangely motivating, and deeply exciting, for I have lived most of my life around others, always putting myself last. The time has come and it feels right to think about myself after everything that has expired. The ball is rolling. Some things will stay, others have already been busy in getting lost, while new ones will be found.

The Journey continues….

Author:

Who am I, and why I write. I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I am the one, holding on to the silver lining when the skies are gray. I’m a believer that nothing is coincidence, but that everything has purpose. I’ve made my mistakes, don’t we all, but I see them as growing pains and they are a part of who I am today. I have lost myself in order to find myself, and I still do from time to time, but in a good way. I’m a big child who laughs until my belly hurts when life wants to be serious. Career wise: I’ve been there, done that, and I took “The jump” off the hamster wheel in an effort to change my future. I didn’t land all that soft, but I can say that I’m still proud to have found the courage to do it. Coming full circle, I had it all, and yet I was lonely and had nothing. Today I choose to be a collector of moments and I chase memories, instead of the material stuff. Less is more, and the motto is quality over quantity. You’d be amazed at how freeing it can be. I see myself as a free spirit that believes in an unconventional lifestyle. Somehow I go against the grain most of the times, not to rebel, but because it feels right to stay true to my unique and authentic self. It takes courage, and you often stand alone, but if you dare, you soon realize that it is the only way if you don’t want to lose who you are. Just like most, my past wasn’t easy and I come from a life that didn’t always give me the opportunity to be heard. Few related and even fewer cared to take the time. But that’s the past and it’s history, the future hasn’t happened and the “NOW” is truly all we ever have. In the end we all have a story to tell, and we all seek to be understood. We all yearn to be heard and accepted and still life is hard and our path is full of stumbling blocks. If we can see the lessons in adversity we may realize that the toughest moments are often our greatest teachers. There is a reason for the saying that the stars can’t shine without darkness, and it might be darkness that will show you the light.
It took a series of (un)fortunate events, to learn to glow through the pain, to learn how to dance in the rain. I believe in Magic and wonder, and the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. As an empath this old soul often feels a little too much, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Today, I am here to tell my story because I believe that it can help others. It is my hope to bring inspiration and strengths to you, while showing you that it can be done. I know you are out there, and I know you are suffering in silence. I am here to tell you that you are not alone, and your voice is being heard loud and clear. Hang on and be strong, transformation is yours. 
In light and love....Rhapsody Bohème 💙🦋

14 thoughts on “The Journey continues

  1. Thank you for sharing you’re looking back and looking forward, Rhapsody, unabashed and with great lucidity. For a reader like me, it is an invaluable lesson in life, which can never be put into any simple formula. Life is always more complicated than that, and that’s what keeps it interesting. 💚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Talking of perspectives, who’s to say this isn’t an opportunity for your mom? An opportunity to see if she can believe in herself? If she can trust in your love and your promise to come back? If she can keep fighting? If you stay, she would never know these things (and neither would you)…? x

    Liked by 1 person

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