Posted in Life, Mom

You go, Mom ❤️

I was emotional leaving Mom on Sunday, but I was fine throughout the day. That would somehow change that evening, I just didn’t know it yet. It started after eating a slice of cheese which unsettled things a bit. At least it was right around that time that I noticed it first. I started to feel weak, and soon yawning followed which is a sure sign for me that something is not right or that I’m getting sick. I feel like I don’t get enough oxygen, and so I have to yawn and yawn to get air into my lungs. Sometimes it feels as if I’m forgetting to breathe all together and what is something I should be doing automatically without even thinking about it, becomes obvious when all of a sudden I gasp for air. Mmmh I forgot to breathe again, that kind of thing. I’ve been to the bathroom more times then I care for….oops too much info, and just felt tired. I ended up throwing up a little of that sour stomach acid Sunday night, (too much info again), and decided that it would be a good idea to skip the pain med and muscle relaxer. Perhaps I would only puke it up anyways, what a waste. Big mistake a bad choice, and a waste in the sense of quality rest. Let’s just say that it was a long, painful, restless night and I hardly slept. I got up this morning, sitting in the dark, waiting for the first light to break. Any thoughts of visiting Mom instead of taking a rest day vanished and my body knew best what I needed. It wasn’t much of anything. Coffee, tea, a light meal, a nap. As always there were things to do that almost made me feel guilty for letting them fall to the wayside, but I couldn’t tend to them if I wanted to. I think the brain fog is the worst and it could be a side effect from the meds, we shall see.

In the meantime, Mom is looking better and better and the healthiest she has looked since I’ve got here. I’m happy about it, and I’m grateful that we can share this time. Here she is with her first pair of socks that she recently knitted. It has been a long time, but you can see that she’s having a great time and I love it. Long may it last.

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Author:

Who am I, and why I write. I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I am the one, holding on to the silver lining when the skies are gray. I’m a believer that nothing is coincidence, but that everything has purpose. I’ve made my mistakes, don’t we all, but I see them as growing pains and they are a part of who I am today. I have lost myself in order to find myself, and I still do from time to time, but in a good way. I’m a big child who laughs until my belly hurts when life wants to be serious. Career wise: I’ve been there, done that, and I took “The jump” off the hamster wheel in an effort to change my future. I didn’t land all that soft, but I can say that I’m still proud to have found the courage to do it. Coming full circle, I had it all, and yet I was lonely and had nothing. Today I choose to be a collector of moments and I chase memories, instead of the material stuff. Less is more, and the motto is quality over quantity. You’d be amazed at how freeing it can be. I see myself as a free spirit that believes in an unconventional lifestyle. Somehow I go against the grain most of the times, not to rebel, but because it feels right to stay true to my unique and authentic self. It takes courage, and you often stand alone, but if you dare, you soon realize that it is the only way if you don’t want to lose who you are. Just like most, my past wasn’t easy and I come from a life that didn’t always give me the opportunity to be heard. Few related and even fewer cared to take the time. But that’s the past and it’s history, the future hasn’t happened and the “NOW” is truly all we ever have. In the end we all have a story to tell, and we all seek to be understood. We all yearn to be heard and accepted and still life is hard and our path is full of stumbling blocks. If we can see the lessons in adversity we may realize that the toughest moments are often our greatest teachers. There is a reason for the saying that the stars can’t shine without darkness, and it might be darkness that will show you the light.
It took a series of (un)fortunate events, to learn to glow through the pain, to learn how to dance in the rain. I believe in Magic and wonder, and the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. As an empath this old soul often feels a little too much, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Today, I am here to tell my story because I believe that it can help others. It is my hope to bring inspiration and strengths to you, while showing you that it can be done. I know you are out there, and I know you are suffering in silence. I am here to tell you that you are not alone, and your voice is being heard loud and clear. Hang on and be strong, transformation is yours. 
In light and love....Rhapsody Bohème 💙🦋

9 thoughts on “You go, Mom ❤️

  1. It’s interesting you talk of breathing and yawning because of the way they’re linked with over-breathing. This may not be what happened here, but if we are gradually increasing our rate of breathing, moving from long slow breathing to short, shallow breathing over the course of the day, like we do when we get stressed or emotional, this changes the balance of oxygen in our body and leads to yawning. Yawning is therefore, an early sign of having an out-of-the-blue panic attack, because of the accumulated over-breathing. Thing is, we just don’t notice any of this happening until we are feeling dizzy, light-headed and tingly, then we wonder what on earth is going on and where that came from. (bit of useful information there from the old job)
    Anyway, I trust you are better now and great to see your mom looking so cheerful and I am very covetous of those pretty red socks, I love the patterns. xx

    Liked by 1 person

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