Posted in Chronic illness, Inspiration

Movement for life – Part II

“Caterpillar holds the grand dream of becoming all that it can be, with no limitations, it reaches out to become it’s greatest expression of self. Putting everything aside, it follows the drive to evolve. Caterpillar teaches us to do the same, to find our power to transform in deep meditation, to go into the cocoon and emerge as a greater aspect of self…believing in the possibilities that with faith all things great and small are possible, and to remember that the grand and beautiful things have very humble beginnings”.

~Presley Love

I moved on and left Mrs. Caterpillar behind. So far there had been the A-ha realizations from the neighbors speeding car that left me behind in a cloud of dust, there was wisdom to have more fun from the playful squirrel, and a reminder of transformation from the fuzzy caterpillar. I contemplated each while my steps carried me closer towards Mom. A smile graced my fave and sometimes I surprised myself of how aware I’d become. There was always a reason for everything, a meaning waiting to be found behind the actual occurrences. Nothing ever happened by accident, just like it didn’t with the people that crossed my path. I believed that each one was here to teach us a lessons, some good and some bad, if we were lucky enough, some touched our hearts and would stay in our lives forever. Those would become the special souls that we connect with, our soul sisters and brothers, the ones we feel a special bond with through the universe. The old friends, people our soul knew from a thousand years ago, and the people we so easily feel drawn to. I always knew that I was blessed for having encountered such special souls. The signs from that day were pertinent to timing, the exact moment as to why those particular encounters occurred. They were meant for me, and a message was waiting that I needed right then and there. I evaluated each incident, how it fit into my life, what meaning they brought, what needed to be reinforced, and what needed to be changed.

Nearly half way down the narrow bike path, a bicycle past me from behind, bringing me back to the current moment. I had waited for that moment and it was a long time coming. I knew it would happen soon or later as I periodically turned around, to avoid a scary and unexpected surprise during my stumble. I couldn’t ignore that my feet didn’t feel all that great anymore. It was too early for that, but my legs were burning and my fingers were so swollen that I can only describe them as thick white sausages threatening to burst open. Perhaps like the Michelin Man, that thick. It was getting very painful and uncomfortable, but I had to push on. I staggered at times, feeling myself swagger and sway all over the place. It was surreal, as if observing an outer body experience of myself. Surely I must have looked anything but graceful, but I didn’t care if anyone noticed. I drugged along, like a Pilger dying of thirst. Each step was becoming a fight, but also carried me closer.

I took a few picture along the way, to stop and admire, to live in the moment. At the same time it was giving me and my muscles a brief moment to relax. The burning never subsided and would continue all the way to Mom’s. The flight of stairs up to her room was torture by now, and then I finally made it. With a big sigh, all I could do is let myself fall into the chair, much to Moms surprise waiting for me to greet her as usual with a hug and a kiss. Any bystander might have thought that I just walked a 1000 Miles, but in reality it was only an hour and rather embarrassing. Another painful A-ha moment about my current condition set in. Dreams would remain dreams no matter how much I’d want to turn them into reality if I wasn’t going to get my health back. It was a hard bit to swallow, but hope and believe, faith and love were still present and flowing through my veins.

I stayed all afternoon with Mom and was thinking of the way back. It was getting late and I would have to leave and get moving soon, if I was to make it by dark. It didn’t take much convincing after Mom suggested to take the train home. The station was close by and would bring me closer to home into another neighboring village. It would roughly shave off one mile of walking distance and still give me the exercise I was seeking. No pain, no gain was the name of the game that unfolded all day. I wasn’t ready to accept defeat and the warrior in me was still in fighting mode.

The train was right on time and only a few short minutes later, I was walking once more. I had barely time enough to get my phone out of my pack to might snap a few more pictures. A hot air ballon was hovering over the forest ridge, lit up in a magical glow. The sun was about to set and the golden hour made way to the chill that filled the evening air. How much colder it was already getting at night, and tonight the temps would be just shy of freezing. After eating, I felt so cold that I decided to go to bed. I’m sure it was from the exhaustion and pushing through the pain, that I felt weak and worn. One step at a time I finished the day at 10078 steps and with the desired step goal.


We are the co-creators of our life and the time is now. More than ever are we needed to support Mother Earth and each other. Together we discover and explore our unique gifts in times of strengths, in times we lean on each other, and in times when we learn from each other. This blog started as an outlet and what I ultimately called my “Warriors Journey.” It was a way to document the ups and downs of my life, sharing my hardships as well as my successes. It showcased the struggles, but more important the ways of how to overcome them. Although we are warriors each and every day, I realized that having to be a warrior, comes from a place of pain. I decided to rename this blog, and “Phoenix Rising” now stands for the story of overcoming such a painful place. My motivation for this blog hasn’t changed and I hope to share inspiration and hope, to create a sense of belonging, a space of being heard, and connecting with like minded beings who instill a sense of oneness. We are never alone, and we are unstoppable in the pursuit of what sets our soul on fire. Who I am in a nutshell... 
I am an energy healer and Reiki Master. I am surviving a chronic disease that I’ve sent into remission three times since my initial bout, 15 years ago. I continuously challenge the status quo and by doing so I change my stars. I am a believer that anything is possible. I am a hopeless romantic and I believe that true love exists on various levels. I am an optimist that will always see the glass as half full. I am a dreamer, believing in endless possibilities. Not even the sky is the limit. I have jumped off of the hamster wheel, and I am writing a new chapter. I am chasing my Nirvana to support my most authentic self. This is my story, I am that Phoenix and I am rising from the ashes. Namaste 🙏🏼💙🦋

6 thoughts on “Movement for life – Part II

  1. My sister, your exercise will keep you moving, and the experience will give your mind clarity to make your decisions. Time alone with your thoughts in combination to direct connection to the earth and its many creatures. ❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Putting my awe and sorrow aside, both presenting whilst reading this account, your caterpillar quote gave me food for thought. I have already seen your energetic butterfly wings unfolded and open ready for flight, so, what if the message coming from the pain is urging you to make that transformation in the physical now? You considered that your pain is an obstacle to achieving your dreams, but what if you just went ahead towards those dreams anyway, as if the pain did not exist? Maybe it would make way for the new future that awaits you and that is calling your heart? Did you not say a change of circumstances occurred prior to your previous remission? That would take a leap of faith and if there’s anyone who knows how to make that leap, it’s you. Let me know if you meet an animal that likes to leap, my dear one. xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is exactly what I will be doing and you are so on track with me. My spirit shall not falter and I believe anything is possible. This includes for the pain to vanish just as fast as it appeared. I need you to believe the same when it comes to your ankle. We will fight hard to not let anything stop us and miracles do happen. I already seen a few this year. I will have to make some changes that will lighten my load. A lighter load will mean less stress, less burden and I believe the pain can go into remission. “My dreams will set my soul on fire and light it up with passion. Up in smoke shall go everything that is holding me back. So mote it be. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh, I do believe, I believe, sister! It will be, for you and me, I LOVE your affirmation! The energy has been released, manifestation has started. It shall be. xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

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