Posted in Chronic illness, Swimming

Finding my cool in Summer-Days

The temperatures have been rising into the upper 80’s to mid 90’s. It’s been tough on me, and I lack energy most days. The fatigue is worse and the smallest chores can become a huge task. Although used to the heat from living in the high desert in the states, the humid heat here in Germany is definitely something else to contend with. I don’t tolerate it as well as many others, and my joints are constantly swollen. My hair is in a permanent updo and I feel like I dress poorly compared to everyone else. Loose clothing it is most of the time, and it doesn’t take much to break out in a sweat, just sitting. It was so hot and sticky in Mom’s room yesterday, I had to make my hair wet and wrap a cold wet bandana around my head to cool my brain. It seems to have become a permanent accessory as well, and makes me feel a little like I am in battle mode, Rambo style. I could tell that I got irritated from the heat yesterday and today is finally a rest day for me. I’m trying not to feel guilty being lazy, but it feels really good and I needed the break. I woke up early, full of excitement, knowing it is the birthday of a very special person in my life. Happy Birthday my soul sister. May you float through the day, and let the sea carry you in total weightlessness. May all worries lift at that point and remind you that it is all small stuff. You are loved.

I myself found a means to float. Every first Wednesday of the month it is off to the salt pools where the water carries me with minimal effort. Further, and with the heat, I have rediscovered the place I learned how to swim. The public pool, in the town where Mom is. Perhaps the only place to stay sane during those temperatures, and I have gone several times by now. I visit Mom and go to cool off afterwards. Besides the refreshing break, it is helping the joint pain and I always knew that water is perfect for it. A low impact exercise that places minimal pressure onto my joints.

Lying on the grass, relaxing, I was watching others enjoying themselves and having a good time. My inner child rejoiced as I recalled my own memories of a time that has long past. I wasn’t always that lucky to have made it to the pool. One time my cousin and I wanted to go spend the afternoon at the pool. We never made it, and instead we each got a bucket of water to stand in with our feet. A far cry from the pool, but a memory that now brings a smile. Sitting there, caught up in nostalgia, it felt as if revisiting my past in the current time. As if looking back through the eyes of an adult now seeing it all unfold once more. I may have not liked the bucket at the time, being a child, but it was my inner child now that spoke to me and said

“See, if this didn’t happen way back when, you wouldn’t have this memory today to smile upon.”

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Author:

Who am I, and why I write. I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I am the one, holding on to the silver lining when the skies are gray. I’m a believer that nothing is coincidence, but that everything has purpose. I’ve made my mistakes, don’t we all, but I see them as growing pains and they are a part of who I am today. I have lost myself in order to find myself, and I still do from time to time, but in a good way. I’m a big child who laughs until my belly hurts when life wants to be serious. Career wise: I’ve been there, done that, and I took “The jump” off the hamster wheel in an effort to change my future. I didn’t land all that soft, but I can say that I’m still proud to have found the courage to do it. Coming full circle, I had it all, and yet I was lonely and had nothing. Today I choose to be a collector of moments and I chase memories, instead of the material stuff. Less is more, and the motto is quality over quantity. You’d be amazed at how freeing it can be. I see myself as a free spirit that believes in an unconventional lifestyle. Somehow I go against the grain most of the times, not to rebel, but because it feels right to stay true to my unique and authentic self. It takes courage, and you often stand alone, but if you dare, you soon realize that it is the only way if you don’t want to lose who you are. Just like most, my past wasn’t easy and I come from a life that didn’t always give me the opportunity to be heard. Few related and even fewer cared to take the time. But that’s the past and it’s history, the future hasn’t happened and the “NOW” is truly all we ever have. In the end we all have a story to tell, and we all seek to be understood. We all yearn to be heard and accepted and still life is hard and our path is full of stumbling blocks. If we can see the lessons in adversity we may realize that the toughest moments are often our greatest teachers. There is a reason for the saying that the stars can’t shine without darkness, and it might be darkness that will show you the light.
It took a series of (un)fortunate events, to learn to glow through the pain, to learn how to dance in the rain. I believe in Magic and wonder, and the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. As an empath this old soul often feels a little too much, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Today, I am here to tell my story because I believe that it can help others. It is my hope to bring inspiration and strengths to you, while showing you that it can be done. I know you are out there, and I know you are suffering in silence. I am here to tell you that you are not alone, and your voice is being heard loud and clear. Hang on and be strong, transformation is yours. 
In light and love....Rhapsody Bohème 💙🦋

6 thoughts on “Finding my cool in Summer-Days

  1. Thank you my beloved one, I am caught up in your love and excitement. It seems that both you and I are thinking of your inner child today! And I have been embracing mine whilst playing ‘jump the wave’ in the sea. The best idea for keeping cool, one Andy uses, he carries a plant mist sprayer with him and squirts himself with a soft misting of water every now and then, really cools you down. May every cool breeze come to find you to caress you gently and lovingly every time you need it, love you my soul sister. xx

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