Posted in Inspiration

Mixed flair

It is done, and finally my bed is up. I have been sleeping in my childhood room ever since I got to Germany, but that 40+ year old child bed with its ancient mattress have been less then comfortable. I have mentioned that Mom’s apartment is much like a museum, a place dedicated to the memory of my Dad, but everything has it’s limit. I deserve a little comfort while my life is turned upside down, in order to be by her side. I didn’t mind sleeping in my room and it felt as if there was unfinished business waiting for me. I never really had much time to enjoy the room, to have a childhood in it and the years after my Dad’s death are a blur. I don’t remember sleeping in my room or spending time in it afterwards. I think it was then, that I started to sleep with Mom in my parents bed. I heard the message of my fathers death in my room, and it became a place my memory abandoned. It was almost like going back into time for me, reacquainting myself with it, feeling something therapeutic, something I had to do and experience through the eyes of an adult now. I felt more at home in MY room vs. staying downstairs in what used to be my grandparents apartment. I would have felt like a complete stranger there, staying in someone else’s place. I have before and it’s ok short term, but not for longer periods such as this. At least I was in MY room up here. Back then, (in the beginning) I still thought that if Mom was coming home and needed something, I would never hear her call being downstairs. Being on the same floor would definitely be beneficial. The consideration was thoughtful, but is more and more far fetched these days and a likelihood of such is very slim.

Like I mentioned before, Mom bought the bed for my birthday, but later forgot and didn’t wanted me to put it up anymore in her apartment. It was too late to back out and make the sale undone. Against her wishes and with a heavy heart, I assembled it, and it is now in MY room. I have never slept better then that first night in the new bed. I was surprised as it usually takes me awhile to get used to a new mattress. I never sleep well in hotels and by the time I adjust, it usually is time to go. This was not the case here and no adjustment time was needed. I crashed and felt as comfortable as I haven’t felt in ages. It was well worth the sweaty hours of assembling it, and I’m certain that I won’t miss the old bed. I like the eclectic, modern, vintage mix of the room right now, and it speaks to my gypsy soul. Many things have purpose and a special meaning to me. To support and guide me while the room has been converted to a little square sanctuary where I can recharge when I can’t be in nature.

I don’t mind the 70’s wallpaper, and my young inner child has selected it many moons ago. I honor her through enjoying the sight of it all over again. The bed itself is modern with clean, sleek lines that I love. It’s black and sexy, to remind me to keep passion in my heart no matter how often life is beating me down. A rug shows a scene from the rocky beach with a few stones stacked on top. It speaks of keeping balance. That everything has limits and that it is balance that is required to stay strong in order to tackle it all. The bedding itself is playful and again a gift to muse my inner child. I’m reminded to play and connect the dots, to see the big picture and the signs and messages that pour in on me. It also tells me to take time to play with childlike abandon, to not take life too seriously and to pick my battles and where I want to focus my energy on. The star pillow reminds me to always reach and stretch for the stars. That everything worthwhile takes effort and is never easy. It encourages me to stay strong and remember that the stars can’t shine without the darkness. Being a moon-child, it makes a lot of sense to me as I gaze into the night sky to find my Milky Way. My little altar/shrine had to move as it keeps expanding with rocks, feathers, snail houses and other carefully selected pieces that each have a personal meaning. I like it’s new location as it faces Mother Nature instead of standing with its back to it. My old desk is getting good use as well, and is the best spot for WiFi reception. It’s white and reminds me to keep purity within my heart. I do most of my writing here. I love the view of the window in front of the desk with the Elder tree at the base. It feels like I belong and is very soothing. It has a special meaning and it is a place I can let my mind drift and dream. My old acoustic guitar speaks to the music lover in me and reminds me to keep a song in my heart, no matter how tough life gets. A wooden fish helps me to keep faith alive. To believe and to never give up. A compass hanging from my shelf, dangles over the bed so I may never be lost and always find my way. There are many other pieces in here, too many to mention right now and perhaps I will in another post. My purpose of sharing those with you today is to encourage you to build your own place. To create a little slice of heaven you can retreat to any time you want to. A place that is full of positive affirmation, a place the reminds you to keep going when life is tough. Perhaps a place to recharge even if everything is going right. A place to meditate and be grateful for the blessings that find you each day. None of them are a given and each one is special and filled with divine intervention. Xoxoxo 🦋♥️


We are the co-creators of our life and the time is now. More than ever are we needed to support Mother Earth and each other. Together we discover and explore our unique gifts in times of strengths, in times we lean on each other, and in times when we learn from each other. This blog started as an outlet and what I ultimately called my “Warriors Journey.” It was a way to document the ups and downs of my life, sharing my hardships as well as my successes. It showcased the struggles, but more important the ways of how to overcome them. Although we are warriors each and every day, I realized that having to be a warrior, comes from a place of pain. I decided to rename this blog, and “Phoenix Rising” now stands for the story of overcoming such a painful place. My motivation for this blog hasn’t changed and I hope to share inspiration and hope, to create a sense of belonging, a space of being heard, and connecting with like minded beings who instill a sense of oneness. We are never alone, and we are unstoppable in the pursuit of what sets our soul on fire. Who I am in a nutshell... 
I am an energy healer and Reiki Master. I am surviving a chronic disease that I’ve sent into remission three times since my initial bout, 15 years ago. I continuously challenge the status quo and by doing so I change my stars. I am a believer that anything is possible. I am a hopeless romantic and I believe that true love exists on various levels. I am an optimist that will always see the glass as half full. I am a dreamer, believing in endless possibilities. Not even the sky is the limit. I have jumped off of the hamster wheel, and I am writing a new chapter. I am chasing my Nirvana to support my most authentic self. This is my story, I am that Phoenix and I am rising from the ashes. Namaste 🙏🏼💙🦋

17 thoughts on “Mixed flair

  1. What a beautiful space, the energy feels wonderful just from looking at the pictures and reading your description. Your beautiful spirit sees every thing with such love and inner child-innocence that the power and presence of each object makes a special cocoon and sanctuary of the heart for you. Here, you’ll be able to rebuild your strength and find a reservoir of energy, whenever you need to. Great to see your shrine again – looking good, lovely one. x

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I am glad you liked it. It’s not much, but I’m a simple person who doesn’t need much and can make the most of almost nothing. It has meaning now and that’s all that matters. It’s a little sanctuary for me.
      My little shrine is not so little anymore and it keeps expanding. I feel a special connection to it and to some wonderful people that mean the world. Xo 💙


      1. You’re an alchemist who can turn anything you touch into beauty, in fact, you don’t even have to touch it, you can do it with your eyes. I have been thinking about a question I was given, ‘What are the special qualities the Creator gave you to nurture when you were born?’ I think one of yours was most certainly ‘Beauty’. xx

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Awe thank you so much. I think you are right and I do try to see the beauty in the most ordinary, day to day things that many take for granted. It does bring great joy to share those things and might have others notice them through a different view. Hugs

        Liked by 1 person

      3. You have woken my mind and heart to joy and love with your beauteous vision and energy like you wouldn’t believe. You are super special. x

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Every time I look at my bed I think about how you got a new one. And you haven’t been there several summers for months at a time and then over a year. Yet. Mom says I should go to the dentist or get new glasses on her, I’m really thinking of a mattress.
    Your room looks wonderful! It inspires me to think about hanging up pictures again (they were removed when the sewage flood happened a while back and the walls needed torn up half way.) .

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I truly hope you can get a mattress and create your own sanctuary. You need a little space of your own my love and it makes a big difference. Please hang your pictures and surround yourself with meaningful things that touch your heart. You give so much and sometimes it’s just time to think of yourself in return. I can’t wait to see what you come with. No pressure, but I know it will be fabulous.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The only thing about making it more personal is that it might mean I’ll never get to leave. Crazy huh? I’ve almost been here two years.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Crazy indeed but I wouldn’t think of it in those terms as that would only be frightening. Look at it in terms that you deserve a little comfort and your own sanctuary for everything you have given up. I hope you will do it and find a way to nurture your soul. I’m rooting for you dear sister. Hugs

        Liked by 1 person

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