Posted in Life, My story

As a new week dawns

I’ve never slept so miserably as I have lately. I can sleep through storms, doors slamming from the wind, anything really, but not anymore. I’m woke most nights and last night was no different. My foot was hurting badly from a pressure system moving through. I tried to ignore it for the longest, hoping I would fall asleep, but that never happened. I finally got up and applied some pain gel. It’s still wrapped up and feeling a bit better. Then my ear itched like crazy inside and once again I got up to find some careful relief with a Q-Tip. The winds are howling again this morning and the allergy game is peaking once more, which explained the itching ear and eyes. Finally at 5:30AM I decided it was enough and I’m up to welcome this week.

I know there are many factors contributing to my restless nights, and it seems I get so exhausted every other night, that I pass out eventually. I’m trying hard to do the best I can, but for the first time I’m starting to see the psychological effects the past nine weeks have had on me. I know that I’m strong, that I’m fighting an incredible battle, that I’m traveling this amazing journey, one that continues to mold and stretch me into the next dimension, but dang… Most days I do embrace the pain, where I want to feel every emotion, and be aware of the transformation that is happening right before my eyes, and then there are days where I feel that it will break me. I know, I’m human and everyone and everything has it’s limits. I’m careful and I’m watching closely. I am not willing to let this change me for the worse. I guess you could say that I worked hard to earn my stripes, my every wrinkle and my every gray hair. Those are the physical, more obvious signs, but I also worked hard for the inner, more hidden signs. It is my life experiences that contributed to both, the outer traits, but also the inner workings that make me tick and who I am these days. There is always more to learn, there is always time to grow. If we do it right, we remain open minded and embrace both, the happy experiences as well as the challenges. We realize that we are never done, and that we merely achieve different levels of wisdom. We also have choices and input of what we allow to grow or destroy us. I’m careful and I’m watching.

Being up so early gave me time for a little meditation and to reflect on the laughter, challenges and choices this week will bring. I also got to witness a beautiful sunrise from my window and a bird of peace flew right through the frame. Can you see it? Sign enough for this weeks mantra and motivation.

I’m taking the day off from Mom with mixed emotions, but I have to.

Author:

Who am I, and why I write. I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I am the one, holding on to the silver lining when the skies are gray. I’m a believer that nothing is coincidence, but that everything has purpose. I’ve made my mistakes, don’t we all, but I see them as growing pains and they are a part of who I am today. I have lost myself in order to find myself, and I still do from time to time, but in a good way. I’m a big child who laughs until my belly hurts when life wants to be serious. Career wise: I’ve been there, done that, and I took “The jump” off the hamster wheel in an effort to change my future. I didn’t land all that soft, but I can say that I’m still proud to have found the courage to do it. Coming full circle, I had it all, and yet I was lonely and had nothing. Today I choose to be a collector of moments and I chase memories, instead of the material stuff. Less is more, and the motto is quality over quantity. You’d be amazed at how freeing it can be. I see myself as a free spirit that believes in an unconventional lifestyle. Somehow I go against the grain most of the times, not to rebel, but because it feels right to stay true to my unique and authentic self. It takes courage, and you often stand alone, but if you dare, you soon realize that it is the only way if you don’t want to lose who you are. Just like most, my past wasn’t easy and I come from a life that didn’t always give me the opportunity to be heard. Few related and even fewer cared to take the time. But that’s the past and it’s history, the future hasn’t happened and the “NOW” is truly all we ever have. In the end we all have a story to tell, and we all seek to be understood. We all yearn to be heard and accepted and still life is hard and our path is full of stumbling blocks. If we can see the lessons in adversity we may realize that the toughest moments are often our greatest teachers. There is a reason for the saying that the stars can’t shine without darkness, and it might be darkness that will show you the light.
It took a series of (un)fortunate events, to learn to glow through the pain, to learn how to dance in the rain. I believe in Magic and wonder, and the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. As an empath this old soul often feels a little too much, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Today, I am here to tell my story because I believe that it can help others. It is my hope to bring inspiration and strengths to you, while showing you that it can be done. I know you are out there, and I know you are suffering in silence. I am here to tell you that you are not alone, and your voice is being heard loud and clear. Hang on and be strong, transformation is yours. 
In light and love....Rhapsody Bohème 💙🦋

8 thoughts on “As a new week dawns

  1. What a lovely photo as your entrance into the new week. Taking a day for yourself is a great idea. Time for you to recharge and tend to your own needs. It won’t do for you to get sick on top of the RA. Be well, my dear friend! 🤗 ❤️ 🤗

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you dearest Dragon Keeper. It was quite the day lol and I will detail it soon. Almost good enough for your Jest in quest and that’s something, given that there hasn’t been an abundance to laugh about. Sending much love your way. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much. So far so good and it’s been a better week so far. I’m back to taking each day as a gift and not expecting too much. What is meant to be will always find a way.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s