Posted in Life, Mom

A break from the demons

It’s been over a week since Mom was released from the hospital the second time around. Her breathing is much better, and her appetite has returned which makes eating a much easier task. In other news, Mom is still in bed 24/7, unable to walk, but her muscle pain is getting less and less. She managed to turn by herself, although somebody stops by to turn her every 1 1/2 hours to avoid more pressure sores from staying on the same spot for too long. I’ve noticed that Mom looks at peace now and her face has softened as if the storm clouds disappeared. Her gaze is loving and appreciative, and although she still struggles to verbalize her emotions, there is a silent understanding between us that doesn’t require words. Her smile says it all when she sees me, and won’t allow her to hide anything. I have no trouble staying all day, next to her bed, passing time with her. Even if she sleeps, and I sit here and watch. She knows I’m here and it is all that matters. I know it might be hard to understand for some that I stay hours and hours at a time, and today I felt a little like “Hachi”. He was a famous, loyal Shiba Inu, that kept waiting and returning back to his owner in Japan. I’m not sure why I referenced myself to this dog, other than it being my favorite breed and the loyalty of such. I think I have definitely proven my loyalty to Mom by being here, not that this was ever a point that needed to be made. Actually, I take that last statement back, and perhaps it was exactly what Mom needed to see. In her mind, and with me leaving her behind (according to her statement), I’m sure she must have thought that she was never the priority, that I always choose others before her. Being here now and leaving my life as I knew it behind, might have proven otherwise to her, and was just what she needed.

I watched Mom sleep the other day and for the first time she appeared at peace. No twitching, no whining and moaning, she simply looked restful and quiet. It felt like a break from the demons that seemed to haunt her over all these years.

Author:

We are the co-creators of our life and the time is now. More than ever are we needed to support Mother Earth and each other. Together we discover and explore our unique gifts in times of strengths, in times we lean on each other, and in times when we learn from each other. This blog started as an outlet and what I ultimately called my “Warriors Journey.” It was a way to document the ups and downs of my life, sharing my hardships as well as my successes. It showcased the struggles, but more important the ways of how to overcome them. Although we are warriors each and every day, I realized that having to be a warrior, comes from a place of pain. I decided to rename this blog, and “Phoenix Rising” now stands for the story of overcoming such a painful place. My motivation for this blog hasn’t changed and I hope to share inspiration and hope, to create a sense of belonging, a space of being heard, and connecting with like minded beings who instill a sense of oneness. We are never alone, and we are unstoppable in the pursuit of what sets our soul on fire. Who I am in a nutshell... 
I am an energy healer and Reiki Master. I am surviving a chronic disease that I’ve sent into remission three times since my initial bout, 15 years ago. I continuously challenge the status quo and by doing so I change my stars. I am a believer that anything is possible. I am a hopeless romantic and I believe that true love exists on various levels. I am an optimist that will always see the glass as half full. I am a dreamer, believing in endless possibilities. Not even the sky is the limit. I have jumped off of the hamster wheel, and I am writing a new chapter. I am chasing my Nirvana to support my most authentic self. This is my story, I am that Phoenix and I am rising from the ashes. Namaste 🙏🏼💙🦋

13 thoughts on “A break from the demons

  1. What a beautiful post. I completely understand spending the time with her. I did the same many times with my Mom. I think there is great comfort for her in knowing that when she wakes that you will be there smiling at her. ♥

    Liked by 1 person

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