Posted in Life, Tarot

Flight into the unknown

I’ve been flying for the past 6 1/2 hours and my mind is blank. I feel as if I haven’t slept in days, yet I can’t sleep and make the hours pass faster. It’s dark outside, but I can see the moonlight reflecting on the wing outside my window. I got lucky and the seat next to me is occupied by my buckled up backpack. I got space and room to get up whenever, but I’m hitting the limit and feel restless and ready for this flight to be over with. I have a ways to go and a connecting flight to Frankfurt in Reykjavik. I never been to Iceland and hope to explore this beautiful countryside some day. It most likely be dark when I land, but I hike to catch a sunrise with take off and a few glimpses of this magical landscape.

I’m rambling on, with all the time in the world to write, but with nothing to say. My mind is numb and so are the emotions. Never have I felt so hopeful and yet so empty at the same time. Auto-Pilot has kicked in to warrior through whatever comes next. The last couple of days where filled with vulnerable moments, moments spent making special memories and moments I allowed myself to process the feelings as they hit me. There is so much uncertainty right now and I remember back to Tarot and having to fly blind sometimes. The journey has begun and I’m flying blind at this very moment. Besides the moonlight there is nothing to see. Father moon is my light in the distance and a reminder that the darkness will never completely engulf me.

By the time I have WiFi to post this, it will seem like old news as my posts will always trail behind and will be random and on no regular schedule. It is what it is and doesn’t matter.

I drew the Devil the other day in Tarot. It gave me an initial scare, but the card is fitting for this point of my journey and I took a valuable lesson from it.

“It’s bloody hard work keeping this thing going”

Core meaning: A choice, situation, or action that is contrary to your best interest

If the devil has shown up in a reading, then he indeed is part of your life, take a look at what you’ve created that has taken over your life, your resources, your energy, and your focus. This card represents your commitment to something that is so all-consuming that you cannot imagine your life without it. But this thing – even if it started life innocently and with the very best of intentions – now exists merely to be constantly fed. It gives nothing of use in return. It only consumes: your resources, your life, you. As hideous as that may seem, there is a bright side. Because you created this life ingesting monster machine, you can dismantle it. Also, once you’ve finished that, you get to decide where you want to invest all the time and energy you’ll have on hand.


We are the co-creators of our life and the time is now. More than ever are we needed to support Mother Earth and each other. Together we discover and explore our unique gifts in times of strengths, in times we lean on each other, and in times when we learn from each other. This blog started as an outlet and what I ultimately called my “Warriors Journey.” It was a way to document the ups and downs of my life, sharing my hardships as well as my successes. It showcased the struggles, but more important the ways of how to overcome them. Although we are warriors each and every day, I realized that having to be a warrior, comes from a place of pain. I decided to rename this blog, and “Phoenix Rising” now stands for the story of overcoming such a painful place. My motivation for this blog hasn’t changed and I hope to share inspiration and hope, to create a sense of belonging, a space of being heard, and connecting with like minded beings who instill a sense of oneness. We are never alone, and we are unstoppable in the pursuit of what sets our soul on fire. Who I am in a nutshell... 
I am an energy healer and Reiki Master. I am surviving a chronic disease that I’ve sent into remission three times since my initial bout, 15 years ago. I continuously challenge the status quo and by doing so I change my stars. I am a believer that anything is possible. I am a hopeless romantic and I believe that true love exists on various levels. I am an optimist that will always see the glass as half full. I am a dreamer, believing in endless possibilities. Not even the sky is the limit. I have jumped off of the hamster wheel, and I am writing a new chapter. I am chasing my Nirvana to support my most authentic self. This is my story, I am that Phoenix and I am rising from the ashes. Namaste 🙏🏼💙🦋

17 thoughts on “Flight into the unknown

  1. The devil is one of my birth cards, along with lovers.
    That end of your rope feeling always appears to have more rope when you least expect it. Oddly, the ground doesn’t get any closer…..
    Blessings to you! Always.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Don’t fear the unknown, you have a new beginning in front of you. New stories, new happiness , new adventures. Sometimes doing more for others brings us happiness when we don’t wait for something in return. Just think about the good actions you’ll do, stop thinking about what you left behind, you’ll feel a lot happier and cheerful God willing

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh dear friend, you are right but I still think that you don’t know the whole story and circumstances. Or me. I never do things because what I get in return and actually I most always put others first. This is not a new beginning but an opportunity to make some things right. God willing and if Mom allows it. My prior life can’t be swept under the carpet as it continues and a house, responsibilities, work and loved ones are there waiting for my return. I’m not looking for new happiness and to forget.


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