I’ve been flying for the past 6 1/2 hours and my mind is blank. I feel as if I haven’t slept in days, yet I can’t sleep and make the hours pass faster. It’s dark outside, but I can see the moonlight reflecting on the wing outside my window. I got lucky and the seat next to me is occupied by my buckled up backpack. I got space and room to get up whenever, but I’m hitting the limit and feel restless and ready for this flight to be over with. I have a ways to go and a connecting flight to Frankfurt in Reykjavik. I never been to Iceland and hope to explore this beautiful countryside some day. It most likely be dark when I land, but I hike to catch a sunrise with take off and a few glimpses of this magical landscape.
I’m rambling on, with all the time in the world to write, but with nothing to say. My mind is numb and so are the emotions. Never have I felt so hopeful and yet so empty at the same time. Auto-Pilot has kicked in to warrior through whatever comes next. The last couple of days where filled with vulnerable moments, moments spent making special memories and moments I allowed myself to process the feelings as they hit me. There is so much uncertainty right now and I remember back to Tarot and having to fly blind sometimes. The journey has begun and I’m flying blind at this very moment. Besides the moonlight there is nothing to see. Father moon is my light in the distance and a reminder that the darkness will never completely engulf me.
By the time I have WiFi to post this, it will seem like old news as my posts will always trail behind and will be random and on no regular schedule. It is what it is and doesn’t matter.
I drew the Devil the other day in Tarot. It gave me an initial scare, but the card is fitting for this point of my journey and I took a valuable lesson from it.
“It’s bloody hard work keeping this thing going”
Core meaning: A choice, situation, or action that is contrary to your best interest
If the devil has shown up in a reading, then he indeed is part of your life, take a look at what you’ve created that has taken over your life, your resources, your energy, and your focus. This card represents your commitment to something that is so all-consuming that you cannot imagine your life without it. But this thing – even if it started life innocently and with the very best of intentions – now exists merely to be constantly fed. It gives nothing of use in return. It only consumes: your resources, your life, you. As hideous as that may seem, there is a bright side. Because you created this life ingesting monster machine, you can dismantle it. Also, once you’ve finished that, you get to decide where you want to invest all the time and energy you’ll have on hand.