Posted in Family, Life

Not all tales have a happy ending

It started to snow again Sunday night, and a bitter cold storm swept over the Sierra crest. I live about 25 minutes in a suburb of Reno which is a little higher in elevation, so when it rains in town, it’s not unusual to snow at my house. And so it was that night, and the snow fell at my house before it began to snow and stick in town.

I was closing the store on Sunday night and the flakes were getting thicker and thicker. I opted to stay in town, knowing that I had my rescheduled appointment with the tooth fairy at 8AM on Monday morning. I stopped at Panda Express for take out that night, and made it back to safety in the nick of time. The roads were patchy in spots and were becoming slick and iced. I ate half of my dinner and decided to save the rest for lunch the next day. All there was left to do is finish off the meal with a fortune cookie. I cracked the crispy cookie in half, ready to claim my fortune, but to my surprise it was empty. I turned the two pieces to view them from all angles as if the fortune miraculously had been wrapped in some weird fashion not visible at first. Instead there was nothing, no matter which way I turned the cookie, and no message was to be told. I couldn’t help but smile thinking back to my High Priestess Tarot message and what I learned through her appearance.

“Sometimes you have to fly blind. You will only be able to embrace the truths through the experience without knowledge of what is to come”.

Apparently my fortune cookie from “Panda” had joined in and remained silent as well. There would be no help here either.

Monday morning came and I was sitting in the dentist chair waiting for the numbness of the shots to take full effect. And boy did they ever. It would take until 2PM until I could finally talk normal again without lisp and slurring words and attempt to eat. You might think “What a way to start off the week” but I didn’t feel a thing and I don’t mind going to the dentist anymore. There is a killer staff and many friendships have been formed since I started to go to this practice. Maybe otherwise I would have frowned a bit too, having the drill in my mouth on a Monday morning at 8AM. We chatted a bit and the tooth fairy and her dental assistant Elvia know the reason for my going to Germany. They have done their best to make time for me and accommodate my tight schedule. Did I say yet that I haven’t packed yet and that I’m freaking out a bit? I have only a few days left to get all chores done…yikes. I’m exhausted.

After everything was said and done, Elvia hugged me while telling me that I’m going to be there for Mom during a time when she needs me the most. She held me tight, while I could hear her soft voice telling me that I was a good daughter. It caught me off surprise to hear these words, words I had longed for so many years to hear from Mom, words now spoken from a relative stranger. I could feel the tears well up and even now writing about it, I still get emotional about this tender moment that meant so much. I had to walk away quickly, as I was losing my composure and I hated that I couldn’t give my feelings free reign and had to suppress the emotions yet again. It was during those moments that I realized how raw and painful my struggle with Mom really is and there may never be an end to it. Sometimes nobody wins and not all tales have a happy ending.

Picture taken from google

Author:

We are the co-creators of our life and the time is now. More than ever are we needed to support Mother Earth and each other. Together we discover and explore our unique gifts in times of strengths, in times we lean on each other, and in times when we learn from each other. This blog started as an outlet and what I ultimately called my “Warriors Journey.” It was a way to document the ups and downs of my life, sharing my hardships as well as my successes. It showcased the struggles, but more important the ways of how to overcome them. Although we are warriors each and every day, I realized that having to be a warrior, comes from a place of pain. I decided to rename this blog, and “Phoenix Rising” now stands for the story of overcoming such a painful place. My motivation for this blog hasn’t changed and I hope to share inspiration and hope, to create a sense of belonging, a space of being heard, and connecting with like minded beings who instill a sense of oneness. We are never alone, and we are unstoppable in the pursuit of what sets our soul on fire. Who I am in a nutshell... 
I am an energy healer and Reiki Master. I am surviving a chronic disease that I’ve sent into remission three times since my initial bout, 15 years ago. I continuously challenge the status quo and by doing so I change my stars. I am a believer that anything is possible. I am a hopeless romantic and I believe that true love exists on various levels. I am an optimist that will always see the glass as half full. I am a dreamer, believing in endless possibilities. Not even the sky is the limit. I have jumped off of the hamster wheel, and I am writing a new chapter. I am chasing my Nirvana to support my most authentic self. This is my story, I am that Phoenix and I am rising from the ashes. Namaste 🙏🏼💙🦋

20 thoughts on “Not all tales have a happy ending

    1. I love that message and should have thought of that as well. 😉 I think my vision is getting overwhelmed with all the challenges lately, but I’m holding and have no other choice. Thank you for this ray of light dear Fairy Sister. Xo 💙🦋

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Here’s a message, I know that I am, but I need to hear it. Not anyone can say it, even if they have witness it. The pain of a son that never heard his Father say I an proud of you. I learned to be proud of myself. Nevertheless, that father was proud, but he was never taught to express it and he also felt, his son wouldn’t continue to reach greater heights if he said he was proud. The father said if that is all he is living for, then he will stop living.
    Miss Warrior, you live for more than a moment or a phrase. You give and show love, because you can not help it. It is in you and it must show up. Don’t let love become a duty or responsibility…then it is no longer love and hence you will want to be paid for showing what your heart holds.
    lol, I can’t afford love, but I have love to give and so do you! Give love with no regret and the breakthrough on the inside will happen.
    I will not say good luck, because you have put yourself in position to deliver.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. A powerful message indeed and we share a similar past. Thank you so much for taking the time to send me these words of encouragement.
      I have too learned to be proud of myself. I know what I’m capable of and I have achieved much more, in a foreign country than most who are native. Yet I have chased some recognition, some emotion, a mother daughter relationship and to be acknowledged as a human being, an adult, all my life from my mother. She might never learned how to express love, but she learned all to well how to express disappointment and guilt. I harbor no hard feelings and I would gladly waive my hand to make all her hurt go away. I was a child, yet I had to be the adult, until this day. Now, tough times are ahead and I. Ishtar be too late coming home next week. She will never forgive me. I am in position to accept whatever comes my way and hope to be given the chance to make life a little easier for her in the end.

      Liked by 1 person

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