It started to snow again Sunday night, and a bitter cold storm swept over the Sierra crest. I live about 25 minutes in a suburb of Reno which is a little higher in elevation, so when it rains in town, it’s not unusual to snow at my house. And so it was that night, and the snow fell at my house before it began to snow and stick in town.
I was closing the store on Sunday night and the flakes were getting thicker and thicker. I opted to stay in town, knowing that I had my rescheduled appointment with the tooth fairy at 8AM on Monday morning. I stopped at Panda Express for take out that night, and made it back to safety in the nick of time. The roads were patchy in spots and were becoming slick and iced. I ate half of my dinner and decided to save the rest for lunch the next day. All there was left to do is finish off the meal with a fortune cookie. I cracked the crispy cookie in half, ready to claim my fortune, but to my surprise it was empty. I turned the two pieces to view them from all angles as if the fortune miraculously had been wrapped in some weird fashion not visible at first. Instead there was nothing, no matter which way I turned the cookie, and no message was to be told. I couldn’t help but smile thinking back to my High Priestess Tarot message and what I learned through her appearance.
“Sometimes you have to fly blind. You will only be able to embrace the truths through the experience without knowledge of what is to come”.
Apparently my fortune cookie from “Panda” had joined in and remained silent as well. There would be no help here either.
Monday morning came and I was sitting in the dentist chair waiting for the numbness of the shots to take full effect. And boy did they ever. It would take until 2PM until I could finally talk normal again without lisp and slurring words and attempt to eat. You might think “What a way to start off the week” but I didn’t feel a thing and I don’t mind going to the dentist anymore. There is a killer staff and many friendships have been formed since I started to go to this practice. Maybe otherwise I would have frowned a bit too, having the drill in my mouth on a Monday morning at 8AM. We chatted a bit and the tooth fairy and her dental assistant Elvia know the reason for my going to Germany. They have done their best to make time for me and accommodate my tight schedule. Did I say yet that I haven’t packed yet and that I’m freaking out a bit? I have only a few days left to get all chores done…yikes. I’m exhausted.
After everything was said and done, Elvia hugged me while telling me that I’m going to be there for Mom during a time when she needs me the most. She held me tight, while I could hear her soft voice telling me that I was a good daughter. It caught me off surprise to hear these words, words I had longed for so many years to hear from Mom, words now spoken from a relative stranger. I could feel the tears well up and even now writing about it, I still get emotional about this tender moment that meant so much. I had to walk away quickly, as I was losing my composure and I hated that I couldn’t give my feelings free reign and had to suppress the emotions yet again. It was during those moments that I realized how raw and painful my struggle with Mom really is and there may never be an end to it. Sometimes nobody wins and not all tales have a happy ending.
Picture taken from google