The High Priestess was the second card associated with my birthday. I found it strange how these cards came to be, how they all of a sudden fell into my life. It was the timing of it, that was in the midst of being challenged by the struggles with Mom. If you follow this blog, you know that I believe in the signs that surround us at all times. You know that I believe in synchronicities and that nothing happens by accident. And you know that I believe that there was a reason I was meant to learn the truth about these two cards and how they relate to my life and what’s ahead.
The Justice Card and the balancing of truths. To embrace the journey that is to come and break the cycle to see where the scales will finally tip. To find peace with whatever will be, knowing that I have given it my all. You can’t change and control a person, but you can learn how to react and to what extend things influence your own life. To shed the guilt for something that has never been my fault, as I was a child and now need justice in my own heart. And further may it be for the higher good of my own health. Only when the turmoil ends inside will I have a fighting chance to defeat the RA and put it into remission. With too much stress and worries inside, I fear it won’t be possible. My intuition already knows what needs to be done and this is a big part of it.
The High Priestess is the second card and piece of the puzzle. I’m not in the least bit surprised. Again, I will recap some of the meaning from my steampunk deck from Barbara Moore and I already know that some of you will totally relate.
High Priestess core meaning: something that can only be understood through experience.
The High Priestess symbolizes truth and wisdom and understanding. The maddening thing about her, though, is that she represents the kind of knowing that cannot be told and refuses to be confined to restrictions of order and language. The logical left brain does not comprehend her intuitive wisdom, nor can it express it. High Priestess truth resides in the heart and soul and can only be learned via direct experience. It is the wisdom gained through an initiatory experience. It cannot be explained or studied. It is simply known.
When the High Priestess beckons you, do not give way to frustration. Curb your left brain that demands understanding, enlightenment, and, above all, answers. She is here to let you know that overt answers are not in your best interest at this time in this situation. You have wisdom to gain and truths to embrace. You will only be able to do so by going through the experience without knowledge of what is to come. Sometimes you have to fly blind. Have faith that the universe has your back. Do your best, and pay attention.
This card has probably been a game changer for me and some of the best advice I could have received. It’s been a frustrating road and part of me wants that justification. I would like to know some answers and I would like to understand. I would like to put an end to decades worth of worrying and guessing. I have to adjust and remember the advice of High Priestess that such is not a good idea right now. I won’t be prepared for what’s next and I will have to trust more than ever. I have to use other senses and resources if I am to fly blind. My spirit animals already told me that I had to call on my reserves if I want to make it through this in one piece. It’s making more and more sense, doesn’t it? I’m paying attention. I have truths and beliefs in my heart and soul about the matter, but they are my own and the other side (Mom) to the story has been silent over all these years. More wisdom is to be gained and more truths are to be learned. I’m staying optimistic and for once I wish something would prove this intuition wrong. Maybe it is the logical, rational side of me, but I think it is more hope that still lives within my core. I’m still hoping for a relationship with Mom that with all likelihood will never be, but I still stand my ground saying “Never say never”. One way or another I will have to embrace the truth through experience and going into the situation blindly. Words fail the action and the meaning in this. Either way it goes, I will have to be good with the outcome and make peace for my own survival and well being. Remembering this will be my weapon against the frustration.