Posted in Inspiration

Life provides

There is a saying amongst thru hikers that the trail provides. That no matter what is needed, the trail will find a way to supply you at your time of need. It’s the simple things, the subtle gifts that might come in the form of a cave to provide shelter to keep you dry and out of the rain. Maybe you find a left behind, no longer needed pair of sneakers at a hut, and you have been in dire straits with your duct taped shoes to make it to the next town. What are chances that they happen to be your exact size? It’s actually a true story and it has happened to my friend Kyle, an avid thru hiker and author of two of my favorite books. Please click onto the link to follow his blog and the adventures of hiking the Appalachian trail and the PCT. He and his girlfriend Jessica will go for their triple crown later this year by hiking the CDT. Hopefully Katana, a feisty Shiba Inu will be able to complete the challenge and earn her triple crown as well.

The recent events with Mom have left me seriously pondering many things lately. I’m coming to terms with feelings that have haunted me for decades and perhaps have contributed to the RA. I don’t doubt that stress plays a huge part in all of it. All the seriousness of the current moments and a talk with my girlfriend Angie, have helped me zero in and really contemplate the future. I know what needs to be done, but I still can’t see a good outcome if Mom is not willing to change her ways. I am an adult and I’m no longer that ten year old child that doesn’t know anything. Just like Mom has been independent for the past 40 some years, so have I for the past 30 some years. It’s going to take a shared commitment and effort if things are to work out, otherwise it won’t. I believe that we all have to find our own way in life and that nobody is responsible for the life of someone else, or their decisions. Mom seems to believe that it is my duty and responsibility to give up my life to come home and care for her. And I do want to help, but not because it is my turn now, and my obligation to care for her since she cared for me as a child. I was a child, it’s normal to care for your child. I’m not sure if and how long I can if there is no regard for my own sanity or life from her. There is lots to be considered for both of us and although we never know what life holds for us, it does resemble a huge step for me. There is still another post that requires follow up to recent events and a talk Angie recently had with Mom. It truly put the future in perspective, as well as her way of thinking.

So what does the trail and Mom have in common you might think! Just like the trail provided, I think life provides as well if we are willing to see the signs. I call those moment synchronicities and they are the unexpected moments and what you might see as coincidences. It could be a quote you need to see that hits the nail on the head during a particular moment. It might be a friend contacting you out of the blue. It could be anything. Yesterday I had one of those moments, a synchronicity, something I needed to see. I opened Pinterest and I’m a picture and visual hound. No wonder I love books with all kinds of pictures in it and so Pinterest and collecting pins that are visually stunning to me is a no brainer. Since I love quotes, the content of what’s visible to me is often geared towards my interests. Front and center was a little quote / article written by Sophia Loren. As a child in Germany, I used to watch movies with Mom, starring Sophia Loren. Was it a coincidence to find this pin right now, or was it divine intervention?

Here is what Sophia Loren said and it truly put into perspective the “Now” and had me taking a deep breath.

When I hit enough confidence, the stage was gone. When I was sure of losing, I won. When I needed people the most, they left me. When I learned to dry my tears, I found a shoulder to cry on. When I mastered the skill of hating, someone started loving me from the core of their heart. And while waiting for light for hours when I fell asleep the sun came out…that’s LIFE! No matter what you plan, you never know what life has planned for you. Success introduces you the the world, but failure introduces the world to you. Always be happy! Often when we lose hope and think this is the end, God smiles from above and says, relax sweetheart; it’s just a bend, not the end….

Sometimes it’s not easy to be and see the light within the darkness, but is there truly any other way? Just remember that it’s just a bend and never the end. Xoxo 🦋❤️

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Author:

I'm a dreamer and hopeless romantic who believes that there is always a silver lining to everything. Now, inspired by the simple life, I have learned that less is more and that we find magic all around us if we take the time to notice. Life is a journey and a process that is ever changing. We are constantly evolving in the matter of who we are as we align our stars and shed a past no longer in line with our highest self. I don't easily fit conventional norms, not because I'm a rebel, but because of resenting the pull that threatens to take me away from my true beliefs and my unique personal identity. I support the power of "Choice" and the ability for us to be the architects of our own lives. Some of these choices should have something a little wild about them as they form the moments that forever stay edged in our memory and make our hearts beat with wonder. Nobody will remember the ordinary. For myself, I'm a warrior who has fallen many times, who has gone through trails an tribulations and who is no stranger to adversity. After all, my choice remains clear, to get back up and stand stronger than ever. To recognize that it often takes our darkest moments to mold us into who we were meant to be. I have learned to trust the process and stay positive through the challenges. I trust it to be the only way to prevent my heart from hardening and allowing bitterness to creep in. I believe in the power of "NOW" as it is the only moment we truly ever have. The past is gone, unchangeable and the future hasn't happened yet. All we can impact is the current moment. Everything starts with a choice and hopefully with one that has something wild about it and may even scare you to death to execute. DO IT...I promise you won't regret it. This blog is my voice to share my Journey. If I could describe this adventure in short, I would call it "Spiritual awakening" with a yearning for "Freedom" and going after the things that truly matter. To seek a less complicated life that is stripped down from the many obligations and responsibilities that often tie us down. For me it is a life free of rules and regulations, one that allows me to escape the must expectations while jumping off the hamster wheel that is spinning faster all the time. To be on my own time and live each day to the fullest, to make it all slow down by banishing routine and unleashing my creativity/artistic values in an effort to entertain whatever subject comes to mind. And if lucky, to perhaps offer a different view to my readers, one that speaks to your soul vs. the demands of what society might expect. It is one that empowers you to be your unique self and follow the beat of your own drum. I am dreaming big as I trail blaze the path to a new life and becoming a storyteller. I find my inspiration in the little things in life, in Mother Nature and on the trail that provides the adventures and the backdrop for a book someday. My hope is to inspire "Courage" in others who might find themselves on the brink of taking that first step. This blog serves as a foundation for my collection of personal thoughts, opinions and experiences and by no means am I an expert on any topics mentioned. To my readers I would say that the universe connects us by a common thread, we all search and we all have something to say. We don't always have to meet in person to share a strong bond and people enter our path for a reason. Some stay for a short time and serve their purpose, while others teach us a lesson and help us become stronger through experience. And a few special ones remain as the treasures we hold dear over a lifetime and touch our hearts beyond means. In whatever way we are meant to be, I thank you for crossing my path and for stopping by. I hope that I have left you inspired, full of wonder and with a few "Wild Choices" to make....Hugs XO

18 thoughts on “Life provides

  1. Yes, there is light even in darkness. Maybe around the bend, maybe in the stars and moon, maybe in a pinprick hole in the drawn curtains or closed eyes. Maybe the light comes in the words of a friend or a song or the eyes of a stranger.

    Light often comes to me in a form I least expect. I never expected to find cyber friends like you, and yet I did.

    I have no doubt you will figure out what is best for you and your Mom. Life will shine on you and light your path to the answer.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are absolutely right Patty and it warms my heart to hear you say this. You are no stranger to your own battles and you are a strong and wise warrior queen. You know I’m proud of you and your advice means the world.
      I will cherish your words, write them down and carry them with me as a reminder. We will always share a special bond and I couldn’t be happier about it.
      Thank you very much dear. Xoxoxo 💙

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  2. I will continue to pray for you and your mother. Do not let the struggles stop you from being focused with what the world is calling you to do. I have strong faith in you and you need to know that your going to get through this struggle. Remember in the end it truly about embracing the struggles and making sometime happen with them. With this said much love and sending hugs…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know my dear friend and you know that I will make it. I’m just taking a break at times and this is a safe place for me to do so. We both fight our battles and we both will prevail. Thank you for believing in me. Hugs

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  3. Life is cyclical…sometime we come in the world needing to be cared for and end the same way, which is humbling in itself. Self-care is important. I’m glad you are taking a break, and looking at this from different angles. The angle that brings peace is the angle you take the picture from. I consider it a blessing to be able to do for others…not out of obligation nor duty, but because I don’t resist, I accept that which I can not change. Your being built up and prepared for future battles within this battle. I have a quote you might like: Where there is a challenge, behold there is an opportunity… self-care….I celebrate you, your gift, your ability and your humanity.

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    1. A beautiful quote I love and will take to heart. I want to help because I care and always wanted to make a difference in Mom’s life. I never managed and chased her love and a little kindness all my life. She had become bitter and holds huge grudges against me for leaving Germany. We never had an adult conversation and I never had an inkling that I made her proud in any way or that she loved me. She never told me and as of lately I digest thoughts of if I was an unwanted child. Mom is the one who feels it’s my duty to care for her since she cared for me as a child. The frustrating part is that I’m the last person she will actually listen to and she is not willing to compromise in any way. Her way is the only way and a tough road lies ahead.
      Thank you for sharing this beautiful quote with me and for taking the time to send encouragement my way. Hugs

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Sending you hugs! Trust your gut. I lost my mom twenty-one years ago. And that version of me skipped out on moments when she wanted me to care for her. But it is difficult to be selfless to one whom you feel like you struggle to connect with. I do not know what I would do now. But I do now that trusting yourself and your intuition at these times is of great importance. Best of luck!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for sharing this. I feel you understand the struggle and the helplessness I feel in being selfless but also not in a position to help if she doesn’t allow it. I carry my own battles and there has to be some sort mutual respect for each other, otherwise this will destroy me and I will have to think of myself. If her heart is filled with nothing more that disgust and animosity for me, then I don’t deserve this kind of treatment.

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      1. I hear you and do feel with you. You will need to change your life totally, no matter how much you love your life in US.
        Your new life may bring you something else, as you also need, but wasn’t aware of, dear friend.

        Liked by 1 person

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