Posted in Art

The paintings of my life

I started painting roughly 10 years ago. I always enjoyed arts and crafts and the process of creation, but I never explored it on the levels of painting acrylic on canvas. In fact, I never really painted much at all. Looking back to my childhood, I remember coloring books and enjoying the soothing effects they had on my soul during those peaceful hours spent, getting lost in the process of adding color to the shapes and outlines of the pages. Those times have long past and occasionally I manage  to pull out the adult coloring books, even though it happens rarely.

I recall a point when my life changed, seemingly overnight. I hit a rough patch and had just said goodbye to one of my beloved dogs. You have to understand that I share a deep connection to all animals and pets become family, often living better then some people. I felt lost and the pain seemed unbearable at the time, threatening to rip my heart apart, I just couldn’t get over. I don’t know how it came to be, but I started to paint. It was an outlet, a form of expression while bringing me the same kind of peace that I had felt as a child, engaged in my coloring books. The process itself was much different than the one prior and this time it was me who was creating my own images. There was no need to stay within the controlled lines even though some had outlines, others didn’t and were flowing freely. It was relief, as if my soul poured out into whatever it was that I was painting at the time. To this day I can look at each one of my paintings and feel a personal connection. They tell the story of my journey and remind me that beautiful things are often born out of adversity. Talents are discovered as well as passions and a distraction to help us cope. A gentle soul, someone that is easily moved on an emotional level, the strong warriors that walk among us, the ones wise beyond their years, they all have seen a great deal of adversity and pain and they all have a story to tell.

I feel the call from time to time when I haven’t painted in awhile. Almost as if another painting is due, and another chapter is closing. There is a thirst for the feeling and the exploration of discovering new things. It starts with an idea and with a choice of what speaks to me. I miss it right now and painting has become such a beautiful and rewarding aspect. Much has happened since my last painting and after Germany I will make it a priority to paint whatever calls me.

I came across this video from Jim Carrey and it spoke to my heart. I relate to his words and his need for color in life. It also reminded me of myself and I believe that art should always portray what moves the artist. While there is no wrong or right in artistry, there must be heart and like with anything and without heart there is no enjoyment and no connection. It’s also something that I love to advise new writers on. The ones that correct and revise their body of work a hundred times in order to get it right. I’ve done it myself and you will drive yourself crazy. You see, it’s not always the perfection that matters, but the heart and the soul that is conveyed and shines through your words. How could this ever be wrong?

 


Here are a few of my paintings and their titles. All of them signified challenging times, but there are funny ones within the collection for another post. 😉


“Feeling blue”

“The strings of my heart”

“Chasing love”

Author:

We are the co-creators of our life and the time is now. More than ever are we needed to support Mother Earth and each other. Together we discover and explore our unique gifts in times of strengths, in times we lean on each other, and in times when we learn from each other. This blog started as an outlet and what I ultimately called my “Warriors Journey.” It was a way to document the ups and downs of my life, sharing my hardships as well as my successes. It showcased the struggles, but more important the ways of how to overcome them. Although we are warriors each and every day, I realized that having to be a warrior, comes from a place of pain. I decided to rename this blog, and “Phoenix Rising” now stands for the story of overcoming such a painful place. My motivation for this blog hasn’t changed and I hope to share inspiration and hope, to create a sense of belonging, a space of being heard, and connecting with like minded beings who instill a sense of oneness. We are never alone, and we are unstoppable in the pursuit of what sets our soul on fire. Who I am in a nutshell... 
I am an energy healer and Reiki Master. I am surviving a chronic disease that I’ve sent into remission three times since my initial bout, 15 years ago. I continuously challenge the status quo and by doing so I change my stars. I am a believer that anything is possible. I am a hopeless romantic and I believe that true love exists on various levels. I am an optimist that will always see the glass as half full. I am a dreamer, believing in endless possibilities. Not even the sky is the limit. I have jumped off of the hamster wheel, and I am writing a new chapter. I am chasing my Nirvana to support my most authentic self. This is my story, I am that Phoenix and I am rising from the ashes. Namaste 🙏🏼💙🦋

37 thoughts on “The paintings of my life

    1. Thank you again, it’s a lot of fun as well as it is relaxing for me. Awhile ago I tried a new technique where you try not to think at all. You grab your canvas and just add color and whatever comes to mind…(awe, sneaky, you had to think in order for that to happen). But seriously you just go with whatever draws you in and see what emerges. It’s interesting and easier said then done.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Two perfect ingredients, fun and relaxing. Isn’t it great when for brief moments we stop thinking and just do something. We have a tendency to over think at times and ruin beautiful moments. We know what you mean about it being easier said then done. Seems though you are getting a handle on it so keep it up.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Shelly, this truly means a lot to me as I thought for a long time they were just childlike scribbles. I look back at them and feel as if I have grown into the message of my paintings. Maybe I was guided at times but nevertheless they are a part of my journey.

      Like

  1. I had no idea you were an artist! Your work is very evocative and makes me feel like I know you a little bit better now. ❤️ I really liked the idea of letting go of the need for perfection. I am always collecting art supplies with the idea that I’ll do something when I feel like I can do something well. Of course, I never feel like it would be “good enough” so I never start a piece. This is really motivating! Thanks for sharing my dear.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Awe Linda this is so sweet, thank you. I collect art supplies too and often it’s odds and ends here and there that years later find their rightful place in a project. We share this passion as well 😉 and you definitely need to start a piece. Who is to judge if it’s good enough and who determines that? Don’t be your worst critic and shut yourself down before having the chance to succeed. There is no wrong or right in art and you can’t fail. You’ll feel liberated and I guarantee you’ll enjoy it. Just stop thinking lol. I wanna see a piece when I get back from Germany and you have better not forgotten me by then. 😉 you gave homework to do my dear.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. That I am haha and I’d be the first to admit it. Haven’t you heard that crazy is the news black hahaha. See…I’m totally nuts lol.
        But jokes aside you know what your words mean to you and I gladly return them and a huge hug back to you as my heart feels the same. 💙🦋😉

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Awe thank you so much Darren, that’s very kind. I know what you mean with the last one “Chasing Love” and it’s a self portrait of me chasing after my mother’s love, with it always being out of reach. That’s why I picked the dark, haunting paint and it is the way it is.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s