Posted in Art

The paintings of my life

I started painting roughly 10 years ago. I always enjoyed arts and crafts and the process of creation, but I never explored it on the levels of painting acrylic on canvas. In fact, I never really painted much at all. Looking back to my childhood, I remember coloring books and enjoying the soothing effects they had on my soul during those peaceful hours spent, getting lost in the process of adding color to the shapes and outlines of the pages. Those times have long past and occasionally I manage  to pull out the adult coloring books, even though it happens rarely.

I recall a point when my life changed, seemingly overnight. I hit a rough patch and had just said goodbye to one of my beloved dogs. You have to understand that I share a deep connection to all animals and pets become family, often living better then some people. I felt lost and the pain seemed unbearable at the time, threatening to rip my heart apart, I just couldn’t get over. I don’t know how it came to be, but I started to paint. It was an outlet, a form of expression while bringing me the same kind of peace that I had felt as a child, engaged in my coloring books. The process itself was much different than the one prior and this time it was me who was creating my own images. There was no need to stay within the controlled lines even though some had outlines, others didn’t and were flowing freely. It was relief, as if my soul poured out into whatever it was that I was painting at the time. To this day I can look at each one of my paintings and feel a personal connection. They tell the story of my journey and remind me that beautiful things are often born out of adversity. Talents are discovered as well as passions and a distraction to help us cope. A gentle soul, someone that is easily moved on an emotional level, the strong warriors that walk among us, the ones wise beyond their years, they all have seen a great deal of adversity and pain and they all have a story to tell.

I feel the call from time to time when I haven’t painted in awhile. Almost as if another painting is due, and another chapter is closing. There is a thirst for the feeling and the exploration of discovering new things. It starts with an idea and with a choice of what speaks to me. I miss it right now and painting has become such a beautiful and rewarding aspect. Much has happened since my last painting and after Germany I will make it a priority to paint whatever calls me.

I came across this video from Jim Carrey and it spoke to my heart. I relate to his words and his need for color in life. It also reminded me of myself and I believe that art should always portray what moves the artist. While there is no wrong or right in artistry, there must be heart and like with anything and without heart there is no enjoyment and no connection. It’s also something that I love to advise new writers on. The ones that correct and revise their body of work a hundred times in order to get it right. I’ve done it myself and you will drive yourself crazy. You see, it’s not always the perfection that matters, but the heart and the soul that is conveyed and shines through your words. How could this ever be wrong?

 


Here are a few of my paintings and their titles. All of them signified challenging times, but there are funny ones within the collection for another post. 😉


“Feeling blue”

“The strings of my heart”

“Chasing love”

Author:

Who am I, and why I write. I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I am the one, holding on to the silver lining when the skies are gray. I’m a believer that nothing is coincidence, but that everything has purpose. I’ve made my mistakes, don’t we all, but I see them as growing pains and they are a part of who I am today. I have lost myself in order to find myself, and I still do from time to time, but in a good way. I’m a big child who laughs until my belly hurts when life wants to be serious. Career wise: I’ve been there, done that, and I took “The jump” off the hamster wheel in an effort to change my future. I didn’t land all that soft, but I can say that I’m still proud to have found the courage to do it. Coming full circle, I had it all, and yet I was lonely and had nothing. Today I choose to be a collector of moments and I chase memories, instead of the material stuff. Less is more, and the motto is quality over quantity. You’d be amazed at how freeing it can be. I see myself as a free spirit that believes in an unconventional lifestyle. Somehow I go against the grain most of the times, not to rebel, but because it feels right to stay true to my unique and authentic self. It takes courage, and you often stand alone, but if you dare, you soon realize that it is the only way if you don’t want to lose who you are. Just like most, my past wasn’t easy and I come from a life that didn’t always give me the opportunity to be heard. Few related and even fewer cared to take the time. But that’s the past and it’s history, the future hasn’t happened and the “NOW” is truly all we ever have. In the end we all have a story to tell, and we all seek to be understood. We all yearn to be heard and accepted and still life is hard and our path is full of stumbling blocks. If we can see the lessons in adversity we may realize that the toughest moments are often our greatest teachers. There is a reason for the saying that the stars can’t shine without darkness, and it might be darkness that will show you the light.
It took a series of (un)fortunate events, to learn to glow through the pain, to learn how to dance in the rain. I believe in Magic and wonder, and the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. As an empath this old soul often feels a little too much, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Today, I am here to tell my story because I believe that it can help others. It is my hope to bring inspiration and strengths to you, while showing you that it can be done. I know you are out there, and I know you are suffering in silence. I am here to tell you that you are not alone, and your voice is being heard loud and clear. Hang on and be strong, transformation is yours. 
In light and love....Rhapsody Bohème 💙🦋

37 thoughts on “The paintings of my life

    1. Thank you again, it’s a lot of fun as well as it is relaxing for me. Awhile ago I tried a new technique where you try not to think at all. You grab your canvas and just add color and whatever comes to mind…(awe, sneaky, you had to think in order for that to happen). But seriously you just go with whatever draws you in and see what emerges. It’s interesting and easier said then done.

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      1. Two perfect ingredients, fun and relaxing. Isn’t it great when for brief moments we stop thinking and just do something. We have a tendency to over think at times and ruin beautiful moments. We know what you mean about it being easier said then done. Seems though you are getting a handle on it so keep it up.

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    1. Thank you Shelly, this truly means a lot to me as I thought for a long time they were just childlike scribbles. I look back at them and feel as if I have grown into the message of my paintings. Maybe I was guided at times but nevertheless they are a part of my journey.

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  1. I had no idea you were an artist! Your work is very evocative and makes me feel like I know you a little bit better now. ❤️ I really liked the idea of letting go of the need for perfection. I am always collecting art supplies with the idea that I’ll do something when I feel like I can do something well. Of course, I never feel like it would be “good enough” so I never start a piece. This is really motivating! Thanks for sharing my dear.

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    1. Awe Linda this is so sweet, thank you. I collect art supplies too and often it’s odds and ends here and there that years later find their rightful place in a project. We share this passion as well 😉 and you definitely need to start a piece. Who is to judge if it’s good enough and who determines that? Don’t be your worst critic and shut yourself down before having the chance to succeed. There is no wrong or right in art and you can’t fail. You’ll feel liberated and I guarantee you’ll enjoy it. Just stop thinking lol. I wanna see a piece when I get back from Germany and you have better not forgotten me by then. 😉 you gave homework to do my dear.

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      1. That I am haha and I’d be the first to admit it. Haven’t you heard that crazy is the news black hahaha. See…I’m totally nuts lol.
        But jokes aside you know what your words mean to you and I gladly return them and a huge hug back to you as my heart feels the same. 💙🦋😉

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    1. Awe thank you so much Darren, that’s very kind. I know what you mean with the last one “Chasing Love” and it’s a self portrait of me chasing after my mother’s love, with it always being out of reach. That’s why I picked the dark, haunting paint and it is the way it is.

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