Mid-life Crisis: An emotional crisis of self identity and self confidence that can occur in early middle age
This subject has been on my mind for years actually and I have been wanting to write and discuss my take about it for awhile now. According to the Huffington Post, I’m going through midlife crisis. It appears that I have been there for quite some time. The article, conjures up thoughts filled with images of a silver haired 50 something man or woman riding off into the sunset with a younger partner. Perhaps the reason why I decided to embrace my silver fox, as I continue my journey of grey. Silly, and I don’t think so, but entertaining to consider, even though shallow and barely scratching the surface of many much deeper emotions.
Women are said to experience this “Crisis” earlier than men, often between the ages of 35-44. My so called crisis period started most likely as I was 42, but I didn’t take note of it until I was 48 and started to challenge the Status Quo. I wanted to feel alive again. What can I say? As so often throughout my life, it seems that I don’t fit norms and have my own time table of when and how things unfold. In the end I have always been a late bloomer and feel that traumatic events early on in life have been the reason that my mind and body protect me from a reality I’m sometimes not ready to handle. It makes me think of the quote about the teacher appearing when the student is ready and I believe that everything is a matter of timing and being ready. To grow into awareness and possess a readiness to observe and then evaluate and change your stars if necessary to pursue your dreams. Maybe not immediately as things are often easier said then done. Especially from the outside and with distance. We are often tied down and have to bide our time while we wait for the perfect moment when everything can fall into place. Even so, this should not stop us from planning and dreaming, as all reality manifests within our dreams and from the things we believe in.
This, so called crisis period is named to be a time of self reflection, a fear of running out of time, a discontent with aging and perhaps it is then that we give into that affair only to feel young and alive, appreciated and valued again. That is if you are not happy in your current circumstances and find those things missing from your life. Women might get Botox in an effort to cling to their youthful appearance and hide their self critical changes of gravity that is gracing their faces and bodies, while men might fork out a ton of money and buy that new sports car in an effort to be hip and attract (false) attention.
You might also panic about health issues, try to get a handle on your weight and seek a healthier lifestyle. Could this be the final time of turning your New Years Resolution into reality, as you feel that you must make those changes if you are to be around for awhile? Or are you just overall more conscious of dietary nutrition, the appearance of your smile and providing your body with what it needs? Finally….
A midlife crisis brings drastic changes, something out of the ordinary and goes way beyond buying a new dress or splurging on a set of new golf clubs. It’s something that makes your surroundings stop, as bystanders stand and watch our radical choice with their mouth agape. It’s the moment that becomes the gossip of a small town, whispered in hush hush conversations of “OMG, have you heard” while secretly wishing to have the courage and to be free from the burden of their own responsibilities.
“A crisis seems to come from exhaustion and a sudden acknowledgement of the passage of time. All assumptions come under review – all of them,” said Denice Loritsch.
You might start comparing yourself to more successful friends and younger coworkers, feeling increasingly regretful, self-conscious and perhaps even jealous and envious. Luckily this was never my case and there was never a sense of competition, but rather a desire to pursue my own identity and unique quirks, my individuality, while hoping for acceptance in the meantime. It’s still important and I strive for it each day, but I have reached a point of realizing that all we can do is our best and if so, it will always be enough. In the end, there is no control over who gives us that acceptance, who feels inspired and who likes us and who doesn’t. It’s human nature and nothing to be taking personal. (Easier said then done at times). But to be practiced even when others strike out in ugliness through jealousy and envy. I try to remember that it is a state of being LOST, an ugly cry for help. It might be hard and painful to experience, but if you can be strong enough to consider this concept instead of striking back and lowering yourself to that very level that brought you pain, if you can extend your hand in understanding and an effort to help that person out of their own hellhole, then you have achieved something truly wonderful. It’s not you as to why the person is leashing out and often there are much bigger things at hand as to why someone is LOST. Just imagine the impact you could have by putting your own ego in check! The impact on the person you are dealing with, but also the greater good for all involved. For most it is the ego that prevents them from reaching out and we adapt the attitude that if you hurt me, I have to hurt you back and seek revenge. Don’t we all make mistakes, aren’t we all deserving of forgiveness? It starts with you and you might even emerge a hero if you can act against the typical behavior and lend a hand instead.
I know I still have things that I want to change, we continuously learn and I have no idea of how long the process of this “Crisis” might last. I know that I have friends that worry about my process, that want to see me happy and I can honestly say that I have never felt more at peace as I am now. My path is clear and I have never looked at this as a crisis at all, but I have embraced it as my spiritual awakening transition and a personal growth period. It is the very state of how I am and a positive mind that has me looking forward to each day in anticipation and wonder, knowing that I am the architect of my life in all my breathing moments. It’s a passage of awareness to pursue what sets my soul on fire with such a passion that my very existence is becoming an act of rebellion. To continue waking up from a dormant trance like sleep to re-evaluate what matters to ME and how I must set the steps into place to achieve those goals and dreams. To dream even bigger and care less about the acceptance of going against conventional norms, but to inspire others who experience the same kind of “Awakening” to cross the line in an effort to embrace the W’s of your life.
How could this ever be considered a Mid-Life crisis? It’s a beautiful journey if you are willing to see and keep your mind open. 💙🦋
This post is dedicated to a very special person and my dear friend TC, I love you and we got this girl. I believe in YOU and YOU are the architect of your life and YOU can do it 😉. I’m here through the process and I’m cheering you in every step.