Reflecting to reshape

It’s been a week of reflecting on multiple levels. A week that brought many thought provoking subjects in accordance to my recent post about “Timing, change and action”. It was a week of many contradictions, revelations and truths to be examined, and quite frankly it was a week that still leaves me a little baffled. I haven’t figured it all out yet.

It was a week of messages and signs, the pulls of an invisible web, the draw to something more that can’t be explained and put into words because it is yet to be understood. 

I felt tired and exhausted at times, mainly because my last vacation was September 2015. Tired in the physical sense but also in the mental aspect. Tired of the things that need changing and that no longer serve my life. Exhausted from the things that have dragged me down for so long and the vicious circle that needs to be broken once and for all. And yet, other times I felt stronger than I have in a long time. I was lucky I had both of my days off free to hiking and spending time outdoors. I tackled the trails without problems, in better shape and stronger then I did ten years ago. No rest needed on the continues climb uphill that stretched over three plus miles one way. 
I also had a few days in crippling pain and at times I didn’t know how I would make it through my shift at work. I felt the weather changing and the rain that was moving into the area. I felt the pressure drop and with it came the pain. But I also experienced a few days relatively pain free. At least compared to the pain that I have experienced over the past couple of weeks. In all honesty, there is always some level of pain, but it was so minor on these few blessed days, that I would consider them pain free. It was amazing, almost like claiming my life back, to realize the dream of thru hiking one of these days and to defy the odds of just making it happen. I pondered the days when I’m in pain, why and when, and the days when I’m free of it and feel better. Cause and reaction and I know what needs to change. I have arrived at the “action” point. 
I got to celebrate the birthday of a special friend in my life and I wouldn’t trade the moment. It has been a tough year (not my words) and I’m glad that I’m there in any way and form to make a difference. It’s a reminder of what is important and what truly matters, what life should be all about, what is good and what is missing to make these moments increase in frequency. 
I have been nominated for the versatile blogger award by a new sassy and feisty new follower. It never gets old to recognize the amazing honor which has been bestowed upon me and I feel humbled to be considered worthy. I’m grateful beyond words. Thank you. And yes, while I still have two other nominations pending, (I’m sorry) I will answer the call on this one to give my new blogger followers the insight they asked of me and to get to know each other better. It’s the least I can do while bringing attention to these new talents just are just starting out here on WordPress. Stay tuned….
My newest passion is that I have become obsessed with Tarot. Out of nowhere it is, but I believe it is another case of Devine intervention. The cards and the reading, the meaning and the guidance as if they have come into my life as yet another sign to help guide me on the path I’m meant to follow. People come into our life for a reason and I’m beyond excited to have a Tarot reading on Tuesday with a dear friend I met here on WordPress and who inspires me beyond words. I believe she is a part in my journey and is here to help guide me through the wisdom of the cards. My journey has been extraordinary and at times I feel as if I am walking a scene of Hansel & Gretel, following the bread crumbs left behind to help guide my way. Stay tuned, I can’t wait to share this experience with you and give credit to this amazing talent and friend. 
Another reflection amongst too many to mention was that there is simply not enough time for everything and if I want to make some serious strides, I can’t work full time. My job is getting in the way of what I need to do, it’s as simple as that. And yes, I have a plan. 

All in all it has come down to a choice and a decision that requires action. Here are the options….
1. Stay and continue on the same level as I have been will result in more pain, being a prisoner and peddling hard to stay on that ever faster spinning hamster wheel. For what? 
2. Or taking some drastic measures by jumping off that wheel to gain freedom, a life with less pressure and ultimately less pain. A life lived on my terms with more of the things that soothe my soul and bring happiness to my life. I might even live a little longer.

This should be a no brainer, right? Is there really a choice that needs to be made and which one would you choose? It’s just a matter of making the puzzle pieces fit in the right order. 

Approaching Wizard Island / Crater Lake Oregon