I feel myself drawn. Drawn to a trip that happened nearly a year ago as we spent a few days in the area of Mount Shasta. My memory has returned many of times since this trip, and I will always remember it as the journey of “Something happened in Shasta”. I felt it, but it was the mentioning and hearing it spoken, that brought even more light to the subject. I think I just never realized how bad things had gotten until then. I was tired and ready for a break. I felt physically and mentally exhausted and my spirit had grown dull. “Mirror, mirror on the wall, I don’t recognize you at all” crossed my mind all too often when I saw my reflection, getting ready for work. I saw a shell, almost lifeless that mimicked the outer resemblance of myself. Life and my carefree nature, as well as the spunk, the sparkle in my eyes and the “Life is good” feel was missing. What was reflecting was pain on various levels, both again physically and mentally. My features began to change, harsh, serious, hollow like. Where did I go….I had to be in there somewhere, right??? But I was lost and caught up peddling so hard to stay afloat that the toll it took on me was no longer to be ignored. I felt trapped within my own skin, wishing something would miraculously just happen that would remove me from these circumstances. Of course life doesn’t work that way and we all know it. Nothing worthwhile comes easy.
Needless to say I was drained and I knew that the introvert in me and the INFJ personality type needed some time away from civilization. But more so, I needed a break from the service industry, the rules and the ugliness of being a servant and the lack of disrespect which I will never understand. But that’s a subject for a different post some day. What I will say now though, is that life was tough in many ways and I was no longer able to dedicate my time to helping others. My well was tapped dry and I had to become my priority in order to be any good to others. I know that some might not understand this process or would consider it as a time I stepped away, perhaps seeing it as a time that I was not caring anymore. It couldn’t be further from the truth, but I think it can only be understood by those who love to help and give, by the empath that picks up on the energies of others. By those who know that eventually it will deplete your own resources and that there will come a time you need to think about yourself and recharge your own batteries.
Mount Shasta was this kind of trip for me and I realized this during but mostly afterwards how truly needed this getaway was for me.
What happened in Shasta is nothing logical that can be easily explained, although you will find documentation of others who have picked up on the phenomena or the energy that surrounds this magical place. It was indeed something big for me, a life changing event that brought more new stepping stones and new insights to my life. It triggered new research and the desire to understand the depths of my spiritual awakening.
Beautiful Burney Falls was our first stop of this amazing trip that will always hold a special memory for me.
Stay tuned….as this is not all and the story continues…..