Posted in Inspiration, My story

Money talks…

I woke up to a gloomy day yesterday and today was not much different. I definitely lucked out and had the best days off. The days were filled with nothing but sunshine and free vitamin D. I felt like painting and the need to create was calling my name. I had an idea and the entire vision was laid out in my head. I can see the color scheme (black canvas, various shades of red, white, perhaps a little gray and a faint hint of light blue) and shapes filling the canvas until the end result of the projects dances joyfully in my mind. I like the various stages of creation and the fun process knows no limits to me. First comes the idea, a faint vision that may disappear if the idea is not strong enough and does not grab me, or the vivid, bold ideas that stay with me and allow me to see clearly what I want to transform into the end result. Here too and not just with travel or hiking, the destination (the end result) becomes the journey (the process of getting there).Unfortunately the idea will have to remain on the back burner until another time so I can make money to afford the house I’am always away from when making money. I feel a change in my near future and luckily the housing market is on the rise which opens opportunities not prior present. After spending so much money, adding some cool touches and customizing this house, it’s sad to imagine the day I walk away from it. I know it won’t be easy, but it’s something that needs to be done. For the first time in a long while the chances are improving to break even, to perhaps even make a little money on the sale and I feel I can no longer wait.

There are many factors driving this decision which are at the moment solely lying with me. I see the toll my job takes on me and not just myself so I can make ends meet and pay for my number one expenses such as this house. I have a choice to make and weigh my options, but at the moment I’m the only one willing to take a step towards improving the quality of my life. The unknown does no longer intimate or scare me as it did in prior years. 

I have no immediate children to pass this house on to one day and what would I truly pass on. The debt and the remaining balance? I somehow don’t see myself paying all this off in the near future. I guess I could always win the lottery if I only start playing it. You see, chances are slim…

I know that the comfort and material bliss in this house has given me a sense of security, a price tag I now pay for in the form of my health deteriorating if I continue on this path. Is it worth it? The answer should be simple. 

And to top it all off, some fun mail arrived from the mortgage company informing me that the loan is going to a variable rate for the remainder of its term that can change monthly. The current interest is 3.5% and going forward the payment can be as low as 3.5% but never exceed 19.9%. WTF, …ooops, sorry, but that must have been my initial thought and what came out of my mouth. Is is even legal and that must have been somewhere on the loan docs in super super fine print. So let me get this straight, you are saying that going forward I will never know on a monthly basis what my house payment is until I receive the statement? You are saying that my mortgage at the lowest end could be $ 1500 and at the highest end be $8528 variable from month to month? I don’t think so and if that’s the case, I have to put some things in motion to rid the sour taste your demands leave behind. Greed comes to mind and is it really life that makes it tough for people to succeed? Is it really a matter of “That’s life” or is it something else?

I know deep down it was the reason for my laboring workout in the backyard. To get things started, to get ready for presentation when the time comes. It won’t have grass but a clean slate to landscape to the new owners liking. I find myself doing this alone, with no help and my girlfriend brought up a good point the other day. It’s overwhelming as it is to consider a move overseas and knowing that I have built my adult life here. Responsibilities and obligations are one of the easiest things to keep me bogged down, to keep me here, stuck in the same rut and routine until the end of times. That’s what I meant yesterday as I said that I’m no longer on the sidelines allowing it to happen. It might take me longer, but it’s ok and so be it, I know that I will get there eventually. My priorities are changing and for the first time I’m thinking about myself and the quality of my life and what will actually prolong it. I have to eliminate stress, it’s that simple even though many equations fall into this subject. 

Getting up yesterday morning I’m better than I thought I’ll be. Besides feeling the strain on the lower back from all the bending and pulling, I can move and will make it. I’m a little stiff feeling, but it’s merely a sign of the rust chipping off or old age as my sense of humor would chip in. My right knee is a little sore which I think comes from the cardio and the extra pressure placed on the joints. RA (Rheumatoid Arthritis) is not always so forgiving about it and makes exercise tough sometimes. I should check into swimming more which is easier and less pressure. Especially now that my referral to a local rheumatologist has been denied. Maybe for the better.

An alpine lake in nature comes to mind rather than a public pool. Nature will have to continue to be my gym and maybe balance out the higher risk of untreated RA. I’m counting on it….



I'm a dreamer and hopeless romantic who believes that there is always a silver lining to everything. Now, inspired by the simple life, I have learned that less is more and that we find magic all around us if we take the time to notice. Life is a journey and a process that is ever changing. We are constantly evolving in the matter of who we are as we align our stars and shed a past no longer in line with our highest self. I don't easily fit conventional norms, not because I'm a rebel, but because of resenting the pull that threatens to take me away from my true beliefs and my unique personal identity. I support the power of "Choice" and the ability for us to be the architects of our own lives. Some of these choices should have something a little wild about them as they form the moments that forever stay edged in our memory and make our hearts beat with wonder. Nobody will remember the ordinary. For myself, I'm a warrior who has fallen many times, who has gone through trails an tribulations and who is no stranger to adversity. After all, my choice remains clear, to get back up and stand stronger than ever. To recognize that it often takes our darkest moments to mold us into who we were meant to be. I have learned to trust the process and stay positive through the challenges. I trust it to be the only way to prevent my heart from hardening and allowing bitterness to creep in. I believe in the power of "NOW" as it is the only moment we truly ever have. The past is gone, unchangeable and the future hasn't happened yet. All we can impact is the current moment. Everything starts with a choice and hopefully with one that has something wild about it and may even scare you to death to execute. DO IT...I promise you won't regret it. This blog is my voice to share my Journey. If I could describe this adventure in short, I would call it "Spiritual awakening" with a yearning for "Freedom" and going after the things that truly matter. To seek a less complicated life that is stripped down from the many obligations and responsibilities that often tie us down. For me it is a life free of rules and regulations, one that allows me to escape the must expectations while jumping off the hamster wheel that is spinning faster all the time. To be on my own time and live each day to the fullest, to make it all slow down by banishing routine and unleashing my creativity/artistic values in an effort to entertain whatever subject comes to mind. And if lucky, to perhaps offer a different view to my readers, one that speaks to your soul vs. the demands of what society might expect. It is one that empowers you to be your unique self and follow the beat of your own drum. I am dreaming big as I trail blaze the path to a new life and becoming a storyteller. I find my inspiration in the little things in life, in Mother Nature and on the trail that provides the adventures and the backdrop for a book someday. My hope is to inspire "Courage" in others who might find themselves on the brink of taking that first step. This blog serves as a foundation for my collection of personal thoughts, opinions and experiences and by no means am I an expert on any topics mentioned. To my readers I would say that the universe connects us by a common thread, we all search and we all have something to say. We don't always have to meet in person to share a strong bond and people enter our path for a reason. Some stay for a short time and serve their purpose, while others teach us a lesson and help us become stronger through experience. And a few special ones remain as the treasures we hold dear over a lifetime and touch our hearts beyond means. In whatever way we are meant to be, I thank you for crossing my path and for stopping by. I hope that I have left you inspired, full of wonder and with a few "Wild Choices" to make....Hugs XO

4 thoughts on “Money talks…

  1. Strenght my friend! I took the decision to clean up my body last year, after I felt I can’t take it anymore when my knee got painful and the Doc told me I have RA. Loosing 40 pounds, exercising regularly (on a bike and the walking with sticks) got me back to a state where I actually can stand myself. But it takes a lot of will to continue on that road. But my knee feels so much better. Hang in there!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for sharing Marcus. You are right it takes a lot of willpower but our life or the quality of it depends on it. I have some work to do and mainly my job makes it tough and inflicts damage through stress.
      Your words and advice means a lot and I take comfort of being in good company and never alone in this fight we share. Sending my best to you and many hugs.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I don’t know how it works there but I am on a variable rate here, which works out as 1.99% over the Bank of England rate, which currently resides at 0.59%, as it has been for the past 6 years or so. It can go up but not that crazily.
    On another note, I too am thinking of downsizing. I don’t need a house this big, even if I have someone to leave it too. I hope you find your balance.

    Liked by 1 person

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