Spiritual awakening – Stage 6

I am back to conclude my personal findings and experiences as there are two more steps to cover what is described as the steps of spiritual awakening. There is no order to any of these steps as they can be experienced in random or skipped all together. I imagine they can vary greatly from person to person and no journey is alike. Originally I thought that this stage offered little to talk about, so bear with me as I find myself surprised to find this one to be one of the longest posts in the series.
Stage 6 is described as owning your spiritual gifts and trusting your connection with the source. The source being the divine universe, something greater than ourselves, a fate, the path of our life, a way of how things are meant to unfold. Some say that our path is predetermined from the time we are born and I’m not sure how I feel about this. I don’t know if there is truth to it or not, and I think it comes down to what you believe, as it holds little to no evidence backing up such a statement. Yet this statement originated somewhere, sometime, and it could invoke further pondering and research.
Example events of stage 6 can include:
You might answer your own questions while healing yourself. Your intuition is no longer just a hunch but somehow becomes confirmation that it is your new truth. There is a familiarity even though you never experienced it before (De ha vu), you find a calmness in your proceedings that give you the feeling of having attained great wisdom. Often experienced as if you acquired a different level of experience overnight. All together you woke up just a little smarter and wiser, with eyes wide open instead of seeing things through a veil. All of a sudden there seems to be much clarity, also referred to as if the lightbulb suddenly turned on and things begin to make sense.

It is a prompt to prune and purge outdated models of belief as they no longer fit your new mantra. You learn to redirect your course, you feel eager to pursue the shiny bright light that now resembles your future and lends more inspiration to keep going.

You soul fills with an eagerness and hope that threatens to burst at the seems. You fear that you can’t hold it in any longer as you begin to share your new found ideals with friends and family. It’s an outlet to let off a little steam, to allow for more, new hope to flood and enter through your veins.

You find purpose in teaching, healing and helping others through various forms unique to you. I know that one of those forms for me was the hope to do so through my writing. It’s an escape for my thoughts, my wish to be contribute and be of use to others, in a perfect setting away from the hectic world of today’s society. A place which allows people to access information and take a moment at their convenience, much like the information that is always available at our fingertips, the WWW. I’m a tiny drop in a vast sea of knowledge, a tiny drop that is born from my personal journey and the opinions I found to be my truths. And still I believe that even a tiny drop has the capability of making a difference, as it remains what I aspire to.

While shedding old beliefs and molding your new mantra, you search for ways to eliminate stress. Stress is not a friend of anybody in case you haven’t noticed, but I’m sure you have and I have seen stress do much damage over my years. Honestly, I try to avoid it like the plaque. It includes environments that suppress my spirit and includes arguing at pretty much any cost. I believe little is solved as it always involves the goal of wanting to be right. I do want to be heard but I don’t care to prove a point.
I don’t have to be right and the cost is simply too high for me. I rather be at peace.
I think this says a lot and just think about it for a moment. Is it important for you to be right in an argument? Do you have to prove your point? What have you gained from it in the end I wonder, other than making yourself sick. Speaking for myself, I don’t think it has done anything other than feed my ego and I should mention that I don’t see the ego as my friend as well. The ego likes misery and puts my mind through countless scenarios of “What if”, stressing me out about things that most likely never come to pass, all while urging me to be in control, to be superior over another human being, to rule. I have little desire for any of it and I am an open book. I wear my heart on my sleeve, vulnerable and you might call me foolish as it allows anybody to take a stab at it and inflict pain. It doesn’t mean that I’m not cautious, but it is a pain I will recover from somehow as I choose not to let it harden my heart. It has happened before and has brought great pain and sadness. I found that most people can’t relate but in the end, I was able to feel compassion for the ones inflicting my pain as it goes beyond my own. I believe it to be worse for the ones who have to face the laws of Karma, the ones who don’t know any better and soon or later will learn their own lesson. I would rather help and forgive than gloat and take comfort in their misery. I hold no ill feelings of revenge and my heart lies open before you.

You might also find a newfound drive to live with integrity and to speak the truth. Truth is (haha pun intended) that I have never been much of a liar, nor have I tried to be. I know that my consciences would rob every ounce of sleep if I was. They say that the truth hurts some time and I’m no stranger to it, but I believe it to be always your best bet and a way to stay authentic and real. So what about while little lies? There may be varying degrees of much of the truth is to be revealed and maybe sometimes less is more and will deliver a softer blow. But to me the truth is love and the only way to show your ultimate respect for each other.

Another event you might experience is that you will become your own role model, marching to your own drum. You spend your time forging your own unique path, the path everyone will have to find for themselves when the timing is right. No two paths are alike, even though you can take great advice and notice of somebody else’s journey. Your journey is unique and is yours, filled with moments of learning, spiritual awakenings and perfect timing. “When the student is ready the teacher will appear”. Maybe it offers a different alternative and instead of being frustrated with your situation and struggle, further making yourself sick and allowing discontent to creep into your life, just maybe you consider looking at it from a different angle and ask yourself what it is that you have yet to learn. I once heard that a lesson will repeat itself until you have fully learned the lesson. This motto helps me stay patient instead of feeling discouraged. I try to leave the events of my life up to the divine source, without interfering, so they may unfold in perfect harmony and when the timing is right. I know I’m a big dreamer but it’s the only way for me and without dreams there is no hope. And without hope there is only darkness. As a warrior of the light, I choose to spend the majority of my time in the sun. It’s a choice while allowing myself to know that the darkness only makes me stronger and has to be faced from time to time.
Typical emotions to be experienced during this stage is happiness. Helping yourself and others will become your mission that fulfills your days. You feel self assured as you are convinced to be on the right path, as you feel it in your gut that you are making the right choices. Finally there is renewed purpose and your life is full of new found meaning. Your motivation is glowing through your actions and your attitude is making you more beautiful, inside and out, while being at peace with yourself and your surroundings. An attractive display that can bring on a series of other problems.

Jealousy, envy and more pain….a vicious circle and still….you choose.

Days like these

Today belongs to me and there are few things that could make it feel better than it already is. Officially the holiday stress and the annual inventory right after the beginning of the New Year has ended for me. I’m waiving it goodbye, without turning back to watch it disappear. Bye bye…I won’t miss you. I would like to say until next time, but I’m not so sure right now if there will be another and I’m leaning towards that I rather there won’t be another. Hard work with little time to do what truly matters is becoming such a waste of time to me these days and I have to do some prioritizing while there is still time. What made it even worse was that I got sick at the tail end with Vertigo that lasted a few weeks. Thank goodness it has passed for the most part and I feel that I might recover on my own without the need of physical therapy. Which is great news all in all, fingers crossed that I will continue to climb my uphill battle.After a blizzard like, scary, dark, slippery ride home from work last evening, I’m off for the next two days. It’s been storming non stop outside and Mother Nature has really pulled a few numbers since the beginning of this year. Record levels of snow have fallen already of which later turned to non stop rain, causing over 1300 homes being evacuated due to river flooding within the last two days. Today we are back to snow and over 20 feet of snow has fallen in parts of the Sierra since 2017 has made its debut. As if it wasn’t enough and it’s not over yet and predicted to last through Thursday, with 10 more feet of snow on the way today. 

I love stormy days like this when I’m tucked safely inside my castle (a Cancers home 😉) and have the day to do what I want. I went to sleep last night listening to the storm, knowing that I had nowhere to be while the wind and the rain was pounding against my window. Later on the rain was replaced by an eerie silence and the night sky was illuminated by heavy snowflakes falling from the heavens as the temperatures were dropping. 

Today there are no chores (well a tiny few must do’s), and deadlines are replaced with a little writing, painting, listening to music while lounging in my favorite onesie, watching a movie while sipping green tea and hot chocolate and maybe a bubble bath later on. Does it get any better than this? 

Everything has its time and place, but I also realize that I would be lying if I didn’t acknowledge my yearning and excitement that has me looking forward to an adventure outside. It looks like I will be doing a lot of snowshoeing this year since most of my favorite parts will be covered in a deep snowpack for quiet some time. Perhaps a perfect time to visit the ocean and soak up some sun. I can hear the annual Monterey trip calling my name and I can see myself walking the beach, picking up seashells and other treasures along the way. “Holy rocks” from one of my favorite beaches, feathers and lobster claws included are amongst some of my favorites. Yeah I’m nerdy like that and it has always been the little things, (most of them are free) that have become my biggest treasures. All accompanied by great memories and tons of pictures to hold on to those very moments. Being allowed to experience those times is what makes it priceless to me and it doesn’t matter what it is or where I go, it is the journey of getting there and all it’s little moments that make it so special and memorable. We’ll see where the wind will take me and as I also have family in Vegas in February which could be a little escape and an awesome visit to connect. 

Living on the California border has its advantages and offers a quick escape to milder climates, as well as snow free hiking. I’m not worried about not getting outside, but I am anxious for that first trip, taking that deeeep, deeeep breath of gratitude, that sigh of relief while feeling everything inside restored as the stresses melt away by allowing Mother Nature to fix it all. 

The only thing better that can top this is….to share it with special people if you can. People that understand and feel the same way without any words ever needing to be exchanged. 

They say a picture says a thousand words and I would agree. But I would like to add to it by saying….

It only takes one moment and one look, exchanged in silence that speaks louder than words and says it all. 

State of Emergency

Reno, Lake Tahoe and all surrounding areas have declared a state of emergency for severe flooding this weekend. 2017 has barely started, but already it will be life changing for many living in the low lying areas of the flood path. The last big flood was in 1997 causing the Truckee River to burst over its natural embankment while flooding downtown, a buzzing business district that relies heavily on tourism.  We had more snow this winter than in previous seasons and several significant storms helped eliminate prior drought conditions. Lake beds are restored back to its natural rim while reservoirs are filling up with the additional moisture. Great news all in all but the forecast has gone beyond a good thing and is calling for 12 inches of rain starting now. To put this into perspective, I learned that one inch of rain is equivalent to 12 inches of snow this morning, wow. Concerns are that the coming rain will melt the snowpack and the Truckee River is expected to flood by tomorrow. Preparations are underway and shelters are in place to help those affected. 

My heart goes out to the families as I say a prayer, hoping for minimal damage and loss.

Feeling better….

The hot water was running over my backside, loosening my sore muscles as I stood motionless in the oversized shower that could easily accommodate two. As always, I was the only visitor and I was alone. A steamy, hot occasion due to hot water and not much else, but nevertheless covering the bathroom in a mysterious shroud, a veil of fog and dewy humidity. Standing there, head down, facing the large shower head, I closed my eyes and allowed time to stand still. I didn’t think of anything. My back was slightly arched, one leg extended straight and the other one bent at the knee, causing my hip to shift to one side. My hands, as if I was reaching to the heavens were planted just above my shoulders and found their way pressed against the tile in front of me. Fingers spread apart to grip as much heaven as possible. There I was, standing in silence with nothing more than the water splashing against my naked body, as if I was to find strength in that moment and rinse my soul anew. To take away the stresses that had entered my life while breaking me down and allowing sickness to creep it’s ugly head into my life. A few minutes went by until the water started to run cooler, calling me back to reality. It was also the moment that I allowed thoughts back into my mind and you might find this statement strange. As far as I know, most people would probably agree that their mind is always busy and that they never stop thinking about something. That the voice inside their head never subside, and that there is a presence, a disruption, a distraction which I simple refer to as the “Noise” of our lives. I envision it like the TV channel that has gone off the air, displaying a black and white screen of nothing, with a noise vibration as if you didn’t quiet tune into the station a 100%. 

I’m not sure when and how, but somehow I learned to stop and escape my own noise, to find myself in calm and peaceful surroundings while stopping time and float weightlessly. Perhaps it’s a form of meditation, of way letting go, giving up any resistance, a time that is to be enjoyed, worry free by experiencing the current moment, the “Now”. A moment that knows no worries about the future and has no regrets about the passed, it’s a time of just letting it all unfold the way it’s meant to be. I felt at ease as I was reflecting back to the end of 2016 and the beginning of a New Year. The holidays had come and gone for me without much significance. I spent them away from my family, the people I loved and sadly in the end I just wanted the hectic to be over with. Working in retail finally managed to catch up with me and despite resting as much as possible during this crazy, mad, daily shoppers attack, it wore me down and I ended up getting sick the morning of Christmas Eve. In true trooper fashion, I had almost made it to the end, almost….but 2016 had other plans and wasn’t quiet finished with me yet, or so it seemed. But still….I was at peace. 

I woke up Christmas Eve to a spinning room and it felt all too familiar. It wasn’t too long ago that I had experienced this once before. The spinning wasn’t as violent with the first time being far worse, but it was still enough to leave me lightheaded and nauseous for the remainder of the day. With a pressing headache and feeling off balance, I’m not sure how I managed to work the entire day, but I did. In the evening I got worse, slept through Christmas Day and was down for nearly five days before I regained enough cognitive skills to be able to function and go back to work. The initial spinning was worse during the first time but the recovery period was a lot faster than the second time with the symptoms only lasting for that day. The diagnosis at the doctors office was Vertigo, stemming from an inner ear problem such an infection or “Chrystal’s” being out of place. I never heard of such a thing (Chrystal’s in your ear) but quickly learned how miserable these symptoms can leave you feeling. I was sensitive to noise, people talking too loud and I can now imagine how people must feel that suffer frequently from migraines. 

This is my first post since December 23rd and please know that you all, my wordpress family have been sorely missed. I thank you for reaching out to me, for your kind words and for missing my presence. I hope that I can return to regular postings as the headaches are getting better and I fight myself back to the characteristics of my favorite animal, the bear. 

Strong, wild and free. (But most of all feeling tons better) Grrrrr…..