Ray of light

As I still marvel in having survived the holiday rush of retail once more, I have been stuck on rewarding myself with sleeping in. This is usually around 8AM of natural waking time, without the alarm clock springing into action and interrupting my beauty sleep. I have always been a little bit of a night owl which prevents me from going to bed all that early and so it’s only natural that I don’t get up all that early either. Or at least so it is my logic in the matter.

I had the closing shift yesterday and in other words I could sleep in. Yet I woke up early (don’t you hate that when that happens?). It was still nighttime outside as the orange glow from my Himalayan salt lamp was illuminating the room in soft light. I felt rested and for a moment I even considered getting up…..I said “considered” ha, because fat chance, was it actually going to happen. The temperature of the bed was perfect, once again, and instead I turned around with my mind made up to stay a little longer. Needless to say the “little longer” turned into a two hour period. I had planned to post something before work, but my time was cut short as I finally managed to crawl out of bed, stretching and greeting another “gloomey-doomey” day.

The clouds were still hanging low and everything looked gray and cold outside. Frozen in time, the backyard was covered with snow and I could see thousands of partridge footprints all over. Regular visitors, I have never seen these birds so round and huge as I have seen them this year. Something must be really tasty out there and they were eating well, very well to say the least. I got dressed and went downstairs, grabbed a spoonful of coconut oil, followed my oil pulling ritual while preparing myself a cup of coffee in the meantime. Shortly afterwards I was ready, sat down and began to write.

I wrote about the recent storms, the flooding and the upcoming forecast that would call for at least 6 more days of snow. I included the unusual strong winter, ending our drought situation with a 200+ foot of snow cover up in the mountains. Perhaps more flooding will occur with the new storms on the way, more evacuations separating people from their material possessions while washing away their lives savings. Freezing roads and unsafe driving conditions also seemed to be on my mind that morning as I touched on highways filled with inexperienced drivers going way too fast on the slippery roadways, not only putting themselves in danger but also everybody else. I wrote about seeing the “Tooth-Fairy” this morning again and the hopes of finding some adventure in my next two days of freedom, while being off of work.

2017 had been busy so far. I was still in the recovery phase from 2016 and I was yet waiting for that break that would slow everything down for me. In all actuality I have been slowed down this year, but in the wrong sense and mostly I was feeling sick and tired of being sick and tired. Lyrics courtesy of Ozzy Osbourne.

As always when I finish writing, I reread the labor of my thoughts and feelings poured into my words. This morning was no different but as I was reading, the words felt as “gloomey-doomey” as the weather outside. All perfectly making sense of the obvious, statements of facts and predictions, but words that fell flat as if on a downward spiral, lacking every little ounce of oomph. It felt as if my motivation had surrendered and my feelings were covered in that low hanging gray shroud that was choking the life right out of me. I was surprised as I hadn’t realized anything to be different until that moment, but I ran out of time to redo what I had written and therefore decided not to post. I got up to get ready for work and then it happened, a long lost friend made an appearance. The sun came out, light flooded the room and everything miraculously changed. It was a breath of fresh air as if my soul finally exhaled and the heavy dark burden began to lift. I realized that my personality had taken on the “gloomey-doomey” storm days, as they had managed to rub off on me somehow, while stealing my spunk.

And if I entertain this thought any further, I know that all I really need to do is to get out and clear my mind. I have been cooped up and left with my thoughts for far too long. There has been no time to play, no life balance to keep me sane, no tranquility to recharge my batteries. I have been missing the comfort of Mother Nature as she always provides me with the balance to an hectic life.

Although breathtaking to gaze upon the snow covered mountains, a winter wonderland pure and clean, I’m ready for a good hike and to soak up the sun. To drown out the noise and allow my heart to find the peace and quiet that only solitude can bring. A little sunshine can make a big difference and all I needed after all was that “Ray of light”.