Posted in Experience, Inspiration, Life, Life lessons, My story, Spiritual awakening

A onesie kind of night

It was almost the beginning of December and not before long, before anybody could blink, it was time for us to say goodbye to 2016 and welcome another year. A new year filled with New Years resolutions and predictions. Good intentions carved from the willpower and the things needing improvement in our lives. Definitely, we were going to do it this time as we muster the courage to stick to our plans, to change for the better and become the person we idolize in our imagination. Maybe even for the very reasons to impress a few around us.I was glad to be at home on this blustery dark night and I was exhausted but happy to be off tomorrow. I felt freezing and I was shivering from being overtired. A hot shower helped remedy the chills, followed up with a cup of hot tea after slipping into my winter onesie. Well, actually the only onesie I had. I was all set, comfortably settling in on the couch as this thought came out of nowhere. What would 2017 bring? I think I knew where this was coming from as I amused myself with a few of those Facebook “Meow” kind of tests that leave you laughing out loud most of the time. True or not, they are amusing for sure and a fun way to pass time.

I too, had made many New Years resolutions before, in the biggest part because it was a custom we were told to do so. Everybody else did it and it seemed to be what you do to welcome the new year. At some point, I’m not sure how many years back, I stopped making New Years resolutions. I watched people throw their good intentions right out of the window, giving up on what they had felt so Gung ho about. Maybe it was due to impatience, and maybe things did not develop in a timely fashion, perhaps it was too much work, a struggle to uphold the commitment. Who knows and what was the breaking point for me was probably that it felt fake, a waste of time, a pretend scenario with no real value and follow through. I believed that life required New Years resolutions throughout the entire year and I decided to make my choices and changes when needed instead of waiting for New Year’s Eve. I knew that life doesn’t wait for the right moment and we will never feel ready. Life requires action and decisions on a daily basis, choices that often can’t be prolonged. It just never worked for me to say “Oh wait, this sounds like a perfect New Years resolution, I think I’ll do this when New Years rolls around”. Maybe you could hold off on some things if you truly want to start the new year in a new fashion, to turn over significant leaf, but maybe you also lost your momentum by then and you don’t feel that same drive you initially felt. Something to considerate and think about as it bares risk. 

So here I was, in my onesie, contemplating life once more, as I did quiet frequently lately. I knew what I wanted from life and I have to say I didn’t always know. I thought I did but I now realize that I chased the values and principles of other. I’m sure it was important to me at some point of my life but that time had passed. 

Today I want something that I never learned in any education system. Not in school, not during my career, but finally through my life experiences, through myself and by waking up to my lives purpose. To something that has a much stronger hold than material bliss, to something that is calling my bohemian soul filled of wanderlust. All I want is to live and truly be alive. To be filled with the treasures of my adventures and the experiences that are priceless and can’t be replaced with money and stress. We don’t learn how to live and how to be happy in school. What makes somebody truly successful in life? 

You can take my career, my house and pretty much everything away as most of these things are affiliated with obligations, responsibilities and restraints. Freedom is oppressed as you spend the majority of your time making money to uphold all of your commitments. I grew up with the values of being a hard worker and it is just who I am, but still I can’t help but wonder at the changes I have seen. Is it honorable and appreciated in today’s business world? Maybe it once was but today it’s mostly business with little emotions left for the person actually delivering the results. I guess what’s in it for you is that you might lead a successful career, as long as you deliver and there is nothing wrong with it if that is what you are after. I was too at some point, but my goals have changed and I value my freedom way too much these days. That doesn’t mean that I’m not committed and when I do work, I do give it a 100%, every day.

So as I sit here and contemplate the future, as I forge my plans for 2017, if it is one resolution that I will make through each and every day, it would be the one in which I choose to be alive and truly live, love and laugh to the fullest of my ability.


We are the co-creators of our life and the time is now. More than ever are we needed to support Mother Earth and each other. Together we discover and explore our unique gifts in times of strengths, in times we lean on each other, and in times when we learn from each other. This blog started as an outlet and what I ultimately called my “Warriors Journey.” It was a way to document the ups and downs of my life, sharing my hardships as well as my successes. It showcased the struggles, but more important the ways of how to overcome them. Although we are warriors each and every day, I realized that having to be a warrior, comes from a place of pain. I decided to rename this blog, and “Phoenix Rising” now stands for the story of overcoming such a painful place. My motivation for this blog hasn’t changed and I hope to share inspiration and hope, to create a sense of belonging, a space of being heard, and connecting with like minded beings who instill a sense of oneness. We are never alone, and we are unstoppable in the pursuit of what sets our soul on fire. Who I am in a nutshell... 
I am an energy healer and Reiki Master. I am surviving a chronic disease that I’ve sent into remission three times since my initial bout, 15 years ago. I continuously challenge the status quo and by doing so I change my stars. I am a believer that anything is possible. I am a hopeless romantic and I believe that true love exists on various levels. I am an optimist that will always see the glass as half full. I am a dreamer, believing in endless possibilities. Not even the sky is the limit. I have jumped off of the hamster wheel, and I am writing a new chapter. I am chasing my Nirvana to support my most authentic self. This is my story, I am that Phoenix and I am rising from the ashes. Namaste 🙏🏼💙🦋

15 thoughts on “A onesie kind of night

  1. Nice “Strampler” 😆 ! Could have used one this morning as it is freezing (-9 celsius) but I’m heading for some warmer Texas air, at least for 48 hours 😬. Your totally right about New Year resolution, they never work to a point where I ridiculed myself in front of myself and others for years. The only working way is to just do things. Not talk about intention, do them. As you rightly said, you don’t need a New Year for that. Every single sunrise will do just fine. But you need the wisdom of many years to get that. Enjoy your day off 😀👍!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Marcus 😉. It’s been cold here as I have mentioned here as well, with snow over the past few days.
      You are so right about saying that it takes many years to arrive and gain that kind of wisdom and nothing ever comes easy. Yet, better late than never and we all have to decide which path is right for us.
      Have a safe trip and enjoy the warmer weather. 😉✈️

      Liked by 1 person

  2. We received the same education I think, so I feel really close to what your write. Sometimes I’d like to feel so alive and to be living. I passed a couple of that phases in my life, and I think my way of being alive is for instance not feeling alive sometimes. Now for instance it’s really a good time for me professionally, but not only for the money, it’s like in the end someone understands what I fell I worth. At the same time though it’s like I miss living the present and just be happy like I was doing a few months ago.
    Well, in the end I wish you the best for you plans for 2017. Sometimes just making plans is a wonderful way to feel alive, so I think that tomorrow I will do the same!!! 😀
    Always a pleasure reading about your experience…. have a wonderful day (roses here that I’m on my laptop… :P).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s hard to balance our professional and personal life at times and something always has to give while we have to make small sacrifices so the other can thrive. I think the key is to be aware of it and make changes when we feel that one is suffering to the point where we might lose ourself.
      You describe it perfectly and sometimes we just have to do what we have to do in order to reach our goals and meet our plans.
      Thank you for the well wishes my friend. Life is a journey, always personal to the individual and I’m happy to have you as my friend to share some of these experiences with. Thank you for being there and understanding me.
      Have a beautiful day. 🌹🌹🌹🌹

      Liked by 1 person

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