Posted in Experience, Inspiration, Life, Motivation,, My story, Photography, Purpose driven, Self help, Spiritual awakening, Survival, Wisdom

Dear Diary…

Working the closing shift has pro’s and con’s, but I do enjoy the quiet before jumping into my hectic retail life. To ease into the day, fix my cup of coffee and cuddle myself on the couch for a little while. It’s almost like a ritual, a sacred time that I use to interact with the world and with YOU, who have become such a big part of my life.As I sat there it came to mind that I had always enjoyed writing. As a kid, or perhaps as a teenager I should say, I always kept a diary. Preferably one with a lock to keep my thoughts, sorrows and fantasies a secret. The swooning over a boy, the heartache of being a wallflower without being noticed, the first kiss or some other wild adventure my Mom probably would have not approved of. I would say that I was a good kid (weren’t we all) but just like anybody else, I did have a few stories. The first experiences, the first heartaches and the first encounters with the ego which back then was nothing more than a stranger I couldn’t recognize but who was already trying to keep me hostage.

I mainly used the diary to help me feel better, to write down things that bothered me and there was always a certain amount of relief when I did so. Now years after, they were safely locked away while being locked into a cosmetic case at my moms house. Double locked as if they needed top secret protection. They didn’t, but I probably would have been embarrassed if my Mom got a hold of them. I pulled them out last year as I went back to Germany to visit and I noticed that I missed to record most of the happy times. There had to been some, right? The pages were mostly filled with despair in order to get problems off of my chest and I sensed the cry for relief of finding hope between the lines. The diary never answered back but it made me feel better. 

After many years and well into my adult life, I started to write again in 2011. So much time had past but I never made the connection as to why I wrote. Maybe it was just the cool thing to do back then and it was hip to have a diary, maybe I saw one of “the popular” girls have one and I followed. I never knew and in either way, writing never held a grudge about me  abandoning it for so many years. Besides the need of getting things off of my chest, there was a difference though and I wasn’t writing to lock everything away. I wanted to share my experiences and there was a need to help, a need to be heard. I dedicated much time to the journey but as life often does, it dragged me away and kept me so busy that I lost track. I stopped writing and while the pages remained a part of my journey, they only collected dust these days and went for the most part unnoticed. Kind of like the pages double locked in my cosmetic case. 

Five years later I’m back, once again, with more wisdom, more experiences and a deeper journey to finally arrive, find my purpose and become whatever I’m meant to be. I’m still figuring it out but it definitely had required being a warrior in the process of it. I came across WordPress and I’m humbled by the people that I have met so far. To read your stories and to see that we share a common ground as to why we write. Whether it is to share and find relief, to confess to a stranger that doesn’t know us and won’t judge us, or to be a voice for others, to share our journey and to let others know that they are not alone, to inspire and provide hope in dark times, to feel a sense of belonging, to find our spot amongst society, to contribute and feel valued, or to simply be heard. I know that there are many more reasons but whatever your reason may be, you should know that you have made a difference for me. I thank you for being you and for your stories that have inspired me beyond words. I know that this time around, I’m here to stay in the pursuit of sharing my own story and in my dream of becoming a writer full time. I remain in the hopes to inspire and to help someone along, maybe to bring a smile to your face or to let you know that you are not alone. I couldn’t ask for anything more and it makes me happy to know the great company I find myself in. Thank you ❤️

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Author:

I'm a dreamer and hopeless romantic who believes that there is always a silver lining to everything. Now, inspired by the simple life, I have learned that less is more and that we find magic all around us if we take the time to notice. Life is a journey and a process that is ever changing. We are constantly evolving in the matter of who we are as we align our stars and shed a past no longer in line with our highest self. I don't easily fit conventional norms, not because I'm a rebel, but because of resenting the pull that threatens to take me away from my true beliefs and my unique personal identity. I support the power of "Choice" and the ability for us to be the architects of our own lives. Some of these choices should have something a little wild about them as they form the moments that forever stay edged in our memory and make our hearts beat with wonder. Nobody will remember the ordinary. For myself, I'm a warrior who has fallen many times, who has gone through trails an tribulations and who is no stranger to adversity. After all, my choice remains clear, to get back up and stand stronger than ever. To recognize that it often takes our darkest moments to mold us into who we were meant to be. I have learned to trust the process and stay positive through the challenges. I trust it to be the only way to prevent my heart from hardening and allowing bitterness to creep in. I believe in the power of "NOW" as it is the only moment we truly ever have. The past is gone, unchangeable and the future hasn't happened yet. All we can impact is the current moment. Everything starts with a choice and hopefully with one that has something wild about it and may even scare you to death to execute. DO IT...I promise you won't regret it. This blog is my voice to share my Journey. If I could describe this adventure in short, I would call it "Spiritual awakening" with a yearning for "Freedom" and going after the things that truly matter. To seek a less complicated life that is stripped down from the many obligations and responsibilities that often tie us down. For me it is a life free of rules and regulations, one that allows me to escape the must expectations while jumping off the hamster wheel that is spinning faster all the time. To be on my own time and live each day to the fullest, to make it all slow down by banishing routine and unleashing my creativity/artistic values in an effort to entertain whatever subject comes to mind. And if lucky, to perhaps offer a different view to my readers, one that speaks to your soul vs. the demands of what society might expect. It is one that empowers you to be your unique self and follow the beat of your own drum. I am dreaming big as I trail blaze the path to a new life and becoming a storyteller. I find my inspiration in the little things in life, in Mother Nature and on the trail that provides the adventures and the backdrop for a book someday. My hope is to inspire "Courage" in others who might find themselves on the brink of taking that first step. This blog serves as a foundation for my collection of personal thoughts, opinions and experiences and by no means am I an expert on any topics mentioned. To my readers I would say that the universe connects us by a common thread, we all search and we all have something to say. We don't always have to meet in person to share a strong bond and people enter our path for a reason. Some stay for a short time and serve their purpose, while others teach us a lesson and help us become stronger through experience. And a few special ones remain as the treasures we hold dear over a lifetime and touch our hearts beyond means. In whatever way we are meant to be, I thank you for crossing my path and for stopping by. I hope that I have left you inspired, full of wonder and with a few "Wild Choices" to make....Hugs XO

7 thoughts on “Dear Diary…

    1. Awe thank you so very much for your kind words, you totally made my day and I am sending this one right back to you and hope you already know how awesome you are. I’m glad we ran across each other and I love to read your blog and learn more about you.
      Thank you again. ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

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