Posted in Buddhism, Experience, Inspiration, Life, Motivation,, My story, Photography, Purpose driven, Self help, Spiritual awakening, Survival

Does not play well with others 

I felt fewer and fewer people were relating with me. Perhaps it had been like this for a long time, but it was now that a new emphasis was shed onto the subject to make me reevaluate the “why’s”. I was quiet and only shared my opinions on a few occasions, but there were also times that I had to stand up for my beliefs. I called it the warrior side of myself that fought for the rights of innocent others and my own unique nature. I did so in a non confronting manner, more through sharing, but by not allowing my values and beliefs to be swept under the rug or to be labeled as unimportant and false.
I remember a performance evaluation at a prior job and it was narrowed down that I needed to work on my interpersonal savvy. Interpersonal skills are used by people to interact with others properly. “Properly” it said, leaving me to believe as if I didn’t know how to get along with others and clearly the fault must have been with me. It was nagging on me for a long time. How could it be, I always wanted to contribute and help others, I just wanted to be a part of the team and claim my rightful spot! Where was that and what did that even mean, to contribute and help others? Where was my spot? Maybe they didn’t need my help and clearly they didn’t viewed me as somebody they wanted help from. After all it was me who had to work on interacting with others “properly”. I contemplated the varies of the subject and learned about what I believed to be my part and what I thought could have caused the divide. I didn’t know if it was truly a fault of mine or was the world just not accepting of my individuality? Was the goal to change me, to lose my unique identity so I could join the herds and masses of it’s followers? I once heard that the “M” in masses is sometime silent and while I thought it was funny in the moment, I also felt a certain level of sadness from the quote for those that might find themselves in the midst of the masses, unable to pursue their identity. Here are a few thoughts that came to mind and what I believed to be the contributing factor as to why I didn’t play well with others.

* I was unwilling to join the gossip wagon. I stayed away from harmful conversations that expressed the hurtful opinions of others. The ones who did all the talking and knew little to no facts, the ones that were still eager to share their “perceived truths” at the cost of others. I knew how painful and unjustified these comments could be and I wasn’t willing to form an opinion without the facts. Even if my own opinion was present, it wasn’t meant to be displayed for the cost of ridicule, for the expense of somebody else. In that case the victim of the conversation that wasn’t here to defend themselves. It is normal to have impressions and opinions, we all have them, we all are human, but it was not somethings I wasn’t going to verbalize in a group and publicly share.

People couldn’t relate with my reaction, did I not have an opinion, why was there nothing to say? I walked away from the conversation so I would not expose myself to the temptation of forming a negative opinion about the ones shaming another human being. I avoided confrontation, not because I was afraid of it, but because it was a battle that wasn’t to be won in a group setting. Being one against many, I believe in the power of one and know that each and everyone can make a difference. Yet timing is everything and this was not the time.

That was back then and I know that more has changed since then. I learned to choose my battles while staying true to my beliefs. I no longer feel the need to explain as to why I don’t want to join the gossip wagon. I have lost the drive to fight for acceptance in explaining my opinions for the hopes they are to be understood. It’s a given to show compassion for each other, to help each other along and lend a helping hand. And while I will never give up, I know that this is an endless battle that is perhaps not won in numbers but by influencing one person at a time. It is my mission to lead and influence, one person at a time, to create a movement that promotes all good in humanity. A huge goal that seems daunting but is also simple as it requires nothing more than to be myself. You can love me or leave me and I hope you shoot for the first part.

I am grateful that I achieved that level of freedom while reminding myself that we all are in different parts of our own journey.
Conclusion…Sadly I will never have interpersonal savvy if it requires me to lose who I am in order to find my spot amongst today’s common behaviors. Happily I accept this as my truth and continue the fight for my inner warrior to be free from those constraints. And as Ellen would say…”Be kind to each other”.


Who am I, and why I write. I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I am the one, holding on to the silver lining when the skies are gray. I’m a believer that nothing is coincidence, but that everything has purpose. I’ve made my mistakes, don’t we all, but I see them as growing pains and they are a part of who I am today. I have lost myself in order to find myself, and I still do from time to time, but in a good way. I’m a big child who laughs until my belly hurts when life wants to be serious. Career wise: I’ve been there, done that, and I took “The jump” off the hamster wheel in an effort to change my future. I didn’t land all that soft, but I can say that I’m still proud to have found the courage to do it. Coming full circle, I had it all, and yet I was lonely and had nothing. Today I choose to be a collector of moments and I chase memories, instead of the material stuff. Less is more, and the motto is quality over quantity. You’d be amazed at how freeing it can be. I see myself as a free spirit that believes in an unconventional lifestyle. Somehow I go against the grain most of the times, not to rebel, but because it feels right to stay true to my unique and authentic self. It takes courage, and you often stand alone, but if you dare, you soon realize that it is the only way if you don’t want to lose who you are. Just like most, my past wasn’t easy and I come from a life that didn’t always give me the opportunity to be heard. Few related and even fewer cared to take the time. But that’s the past and it’s history, the future hasn’t happened and the “NOW” is truly all we ever have. In the end we all have a story to tell, and we all seek to be understood. We all yearn to be heard and accepted and still life is hard and our path is full of stumbling blocks. If we can see the lessons in adversity we may realize that the toughest moments are often our greatest teachers. There is a reason for the saying that the stars can’t shine without darkness, and it might be darkness that will show you the light.
It took a series of (un)fortunate events, to learn to glow through the pain, to learn how to dance in the rain. I believe in Magic and wonder, and the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. As an empath this old soul often feels a little too much, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Today, I am here to tell my story because I believe that it can help others. It is my hope to bring inspiration and strengths to you, while showing you that it can be done. I know you are out there, and I know you are suffering in silence. I am here to tell you that you are not alone, and your voice is being heard loud and clear. Hang on and be strong, transformation is yours. 
In light and love....Rhapsody Bohème 💙🦋

6 thoughts on “Does not play well with others 

    1. You are right and they were, yet I tried to be the better person even though people sometimes does not make it easy.
      I always look at myself and what I can do differently if somebody does not see eye to eye, even if I know a 100% that I am right.
      I really appreciate your comment and feedback while restoring further faith within myself. Thank you very much.


  1. Sometimes you take a look at humanity and think to yourself ‘do I have to interact with them?’ It can seem so time consuming when they’re all begging for attention or focusing on the wrong things. A little healthy distance does wonders for the soul. As long as you know you’re coming from a place of love and respect, you can’t go wrong. Really enjoyed reading your post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment and your kind words. They mean a lot and I appreciate your perception while being glad you could enjoy this post.
      I fully agree with you and there is so much that could be said. I’m trying to relay bits and pieces through my posts and it is nice to see that I’m not alone out there.
      I’m currently experiencing a little bit of that distance with people and sometimes you just have to take the time and take care of yourself. I seldom do as I always put others first but I’m learning to step away from time to time. Not sure it is received well but my intentions are always sincere and hopefully that can be understood and not forgotten.
      Thank you again for taking the time and for stopping by.

      Liked by 1 person

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