Posted in Buddhism, Experience, Inspiration, Life, Motivation,, My story, Photography, Purpose driven, Self help, Spiritual awakening, Survival

Does not play well with others 

I felt fewer and fewer people were relating with me. Perhaps it had been like this for a long time, but it was now that a new emphasis was shed onto the subject to make me reevaluate the “why’s”. I was quiet and only shared my opinions on a few occasions, but there were also times that I had to stand up for my beliefs. I called it the warrior side of myself that fought for the rights of innocent others and my own unique nature. I did so in a non confronting manner, more through sharing, but by not allowing my values and beliefs to be swept under the rug or to be labeled as unimportant and false.
I remember a performance evaluation at a prior job and it was narrowed down that I needed to work on my interpersonal savvy. Interpersonal skills are used by people to interact with others properly. “Properly” it said, leaving me to believe as if I didn’t know how to get along with others and clearly the fault must have been with me. It was nagging on me for a long time. How could it be, I always wanted to contribute and help others, I just wanted to be a part of the team and claim my rightful spot! Where was that and what did that even mean, to contribute and help others? Where was my spot? Maybe they didn’t need my help and clearly they didn’t viewed me as somebody they wanted help from. After all it was me who had to work on interacting with others “properly”. I contemplated the varies of the subject and learned about what I believed to be my part and what I thought could have caused the divide. I didn’t know if it was truly a fault of mine or was the world just not accepting of my individuality? Was the goal to change me, to lose my unique identity so I could join the herds and masses of it’s followers? I once heard that the “M” in masses is sometime silent and while I thought it was funny in the moment, I also felt a certain level of sadness from the quote for those that might find themselves in the midst of the masses, unable to pursue their identity. Here are a few thoughts that came to mind and what I believed to be the contributing factor as to why I didn’t play well with others.

* I was unwilling to join the gossip wagon. I stayed away from harmful conversations that expressed the hurtful opinions of others. The ones who did all the talking and knew little to no facts, the ones that were still eager to share their “perceived truths” at the cost of others. I knew how painful and unjustified these comments could be and I wasn’t willing to form an opinion without the facts. Even if my own opinion was present, it wasn’t meant to be displayed for the cost of ridicule, for the expense of somebody else. In that case the victim of the conversation that wasn’t here to defend themselves. It is normal to have impressions and opinions, we all have them, we all are human, but it was not somethings I wasn’t going to verbalize in a group and publicly share.

People couldn’t relate with my reaction, did I not have an opinion, why was there nothing to say? I walked away from the conversation so I would not expose myself to the temptation of forming a negative opinion about the ones shaming another human being. I avoided confrontation, not because I was afraid of it, but because it was a battle that wasn’t to be won in a group setting. Being one against many, I believe in the power of one and know that each and everyone can make a difference. Yet timing is everything and this was not the time.

That was back then and I know that more has changed since then. I learned to choose my battles while staying true to my beliefs. I no longer feel the need to explain as to why I don’t want to join the gossip wagon. I have lost the drive to fight for acceptance in explaining my opinions for the hopes they are to be understood. It’s a given to show compassion for each other, to help each other along and lend a helping hand. And while I will never give up, I know that this is an endless battle that is perhaps not won in numbers but by influencing one person at a time. It is my mission to lead and influence, one person at a time, to create a movement that promotes all good in humanity. A huge goal that seems daunting but is also simple as it requires nothing more than to be myself. You can love me or leave me and I hope you shoot for the first part.

I am grateful that I achieved that level of freedom while reminding myself that we all are in different parts of our own journey.
Conclusion…Sadly I will never have interpersonal savvy if it requires me to lose who I am in order to find my spot amongst today’s common behaviors. Happily I accept this as my truth and continue the fight for my inner warrior to be free from those constraints. And as Ellen would say…”Be kind to each other”.

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Author:

I'm a dreamer and hopeless romantic who believes that there is always a silver lining to everything. Now, inspired by the simple life, I have learned that less is more and that we find magic all around us if we take the time to notice. Life is a journey and a process that is ever changing. We are constantly evolving in the matter of who we are as we align our stars and shed a past no longer in line with our highest self. I don't easily fit conventional norms, not because I'm a rebel, but because of resenting the pull that threatens to take me away from my true beliefs and my unique personal identity. I support the power of "Choice" and the ability for us to be the architects of our own lives. Some of these choices should have something a little wild about them as they form the moments that forever stay edged in our memory and make our hearts beat with wonder. Nobody will remember the ordinary. For myself, I'm a warrior who has fallen many times, who has gone through trails an tribulations and who is no stranger to adversity. After all, my choice remains clear, to get back up and stand stronger than ever. To recognize that it often takes our darkest moments to mold us into who we were meant to be. I have learned to trust the process and stay positive through the challenges. I trust it to be the only way to prevent my heart from hardening and allowing bitterness to creep in. I believe in the power of "NOW" as it is the only moment we truly ever have. The past is gone, unchangeable and the future hasn't happened yet. All we can impact is the current moment. Everything starts with a choice and hopefully with one that has something wild about it and may even scare you to death to execute. DO IT...I promise you won't regret it. This blog is my voice to share my Journey. If I could describe this adventure in short, I would call it "Spiritual awakening" with a yearning for "Freedom" and going after the things that truly matter. To seek a less complicated life that is stripped down from the many obligations and responsibilities that often tie us down. For me it is a life free of rules and regulations, one that allows me to escape the must expectations while jumping off the hamster wheel that is spinning faster all the time. To be on my own time and live each day to the fullest, to make it all slow down by banishing routine and unleashing my creativity/artistic values in an effort to entertain whatever subject comes to mind. And if lucky, to perhaps offer a different view to my readers, one that speaks to your soul vs. the demands of what society might expect. It is one that empowers you to be your unique self and follow the beat of your own drum. I am dreaming big as I trail blaze the path to a new life and becoming a storyteller. I find my inspiration in the little things in life, in Mother Nature and on the trail that provides the adventures and the backdrop for a book someday. My hope is to inspire "Courage" in others who might find themselves on the brink of taking that first step. This blog serves as a foundation for my collection of personal thoughts, opinions and experiences and by no means am I an expert on any topics mentioned. To my readers I would say that the universe connects us by a common thread, we all search and we all have something to say. We don't always have to meet in person to share a strong bond and people enter our path for a reason. Some stay for a short time and serve their purpose, while others teach us a lesson and help us become stronger through experience. And a few special ones remain as the treasures we hold dear over a lifetime and touch our hearts beyond means. In whatever way we are meant to be, I thank you for crossing my path and for stopping by. I hope that I have left you inspired, full of wonder and with a few "Wild Choices" to make....Hugs XO

6 thoughts on “Does not play well with others 

    1. You are right and they were, yet I tried to be the better person even though people sometimes does not make it easy.
      I always look at myself and what I can do differently if somebody does not see eye to eye, even if I know a 100% that I am right.
      I really appreciate your comment and feedback while restoring further faith within myself. Thank you very much.

      Like

  1. Sometimes you take a look at humanity and think to yourself ‘do I have to interact with them?’ It can seem so time consuming when they’re all begging for attention or focusing on the wrong things. A little healthy distance does wonders for the soul. As long as you know you’re coming from a place of love and respect, you can’t go wrong. Really enjoyed reading your post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment and your kind words. They mean a lot and I appreciate your perception while being glad you could enjoy this post.
      I fully agree with you and there is so much that could be said. I’m trying to relay bits and pieces through my posts and it is nice to see that I’m not alone out there.
      I’m currently experiencing a little bit of that distance with people and sometimes you just have to take the time and take care of yourself. I seldom do as I always put others first but I’m learning to step away from time to time. Not sure it is received well but my intentions are always sincere and hopefully that can be understood and not forgotten.
      Thank you again for taking the time and for stopping by.

      Liked by 1 person

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