Posted in Art, Experience, Inspiration, Life, Motivation,, My story, Photography, Purpose driven, Self help, Spiritual awakening, Survival, Uncategorized, Wisdom

Introvert – Extrovert

My social life was hardly existing these days and only a few routines remained. As I sat in silence, I took comfort in what had become a popular activity in addition to writing. I was reflecting, and I was reflecting on anything and everything. I was searching for answers in my quest to understand. Since my social media break from Facebook, I seemed to have vanished into thin air amongst the people I used to communicate with on a regular basis. The occasional post from me received few likes or for that matter very little engagement and correspondence. I had distanced myself during the journey of finding my purpose. I knew people couldn’t relate with my Age of Enlightenment and I understood that we find ourselves in different places of our life’s, with some people trailing ahead of us while others travel behind us. I was quiet and I didn’t share much and at times I almost felt a little forgotten.

Pinterest had become my new best friend and I pinned everything that appealed to me visually. I had always liked pictures and besides being the family paparazzi, a nickname I had gotten many years ago, I was an avid photographer,trying to capture my vision through my lens. I had an eye for composition and for what I wanted the end result to look like. I was used to my pictures speaking to people and the compliments I received when I shared them. I had even won a photo contest with a picture of a weed. Hard to believe that this little weed that most people would never notice, got an award and public recognition. It was of the highest compliment to me and it came unexpected. But it also solidified what I was trying to accomplish and that was to shed a new view on to something overlooked or on to a subject that was photographed a million times before. What could I bring to it that was new, inspiring and hip? It was my motto and something that fueled my inspiration.

My pins quickly rose to 4.2K and I had lost track of how many boards I had created by now. I pinned a lot to one particular board that I had named my personal mantra board. It contained quotes, I’m a sucker for quotes by the way, and wisdom for today’s life experiences. It was the confirmation for my journey, the wisdom others had experienced and I wasn’t alone anymore. Nor was I losing my mind with my gibberish talk of spiritual awakening which had fallen on to def ears.

And then it happened and the number of my followers started to rise. I was pinning for myself, for my own sanity and for nobody else, but people started to relate in particular to this one board. People started to join my journey and people started to follow me. Anew I felt confirmation that there was a need, something people needed to hold on to, to pull them through, to let them know that they are not alone, perhaps a reassurance that what they were experiencing was normal. I felt good that my research, my pinning and what spoke to my soul, perhaps had created a little corner of understanding and a haven of comfort for others.

Sitting there, alone, with a few hours to spare before work, I let my mind run free. Are we born as introverts or extroverts? What are the determining factors of becoming either? How is it decided, is it a gene or through personal attributes? Mmmmmh, an interesting concept I thought as the thoughts were rushing to mind. I decided not to research what the experts had to say or what the scientific study revealed. It was my own truth that I was after and I wasn’t looking for an opinion that fit the masses based on an x-amount of people. I knew that the answer would be formed from on my own experiences and I believed the answer was very personal. It would be unique to every individual as we all have our own story and it is the path of life that molds us into who we ultimately become.

And with that said, I realized that life had made me an introvert at the age of ten…

Author:

Who am I, and why I write. I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I am the one, holding on to the silver lining when the skies are gray. I’m a believer that nothing is coincidence, but that everything has purpose. I’ve made my mistakes, don’t we all, but I see them as growing pains and they are a part of who I am today. I have lost myself in order to find myself, and I still do from time to time, but in a good way. I’m a big child who laughs until my belly hurts when life wants to be serious. Career wise: I’ve been there, done that, and I took “The jump” off the hamster wheel in an effort to change my future. I didn’t land all that soft, but I can say that I’m still proud to have found the courage to do it. Coming full circle, I had it all, and yet I was lonely and had nothing. Today I choose to be a collector of moments and I chase memories, instead of the material stuff. Less is more, and the motto is quality over quantity. You’d be amazed at how freeing it can be. I see myself as a free spirit that believes in an unconventional lifestyle. Somehow I go against the grain most of the times, not to rebel, but because it feels right to stay true to my unique and authentic self. It takes courage, and you often stand alone, but if you dare, you soon realize that it is the only way if you don’t want to lose who you are. Just like most, my past wasn’t easy and I come from a life that didn’t always give me the opportunity to be heard. Few related and even fewer cared to take the time. But that’s the past and it’s history, the future hasn’t happened and the “NOW” is truly all we ever have. In the end we all have a story to tell, and we all seek to be understood. We all yearn to be heard and accepted and still life is hard and our path is full of stumbling blocks. If we can see the lessons in adversity we may realize that the toughest moments are often our greatest teachers. There is a reason for the saying that the stars can’t shine without darkness, and it might be darkness that will show you the light.
It took a series of (un)fortunate events, to learn to glow through the pain, to learn how to dance in the rain. I believe in Magic and wonder, and the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. As an empath this old soul often feels a little too much, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Today, I am here to tell my story because I believe that it can help others. It is my hope to bring inspiration and strengths to you, while showing you that it can be done. I know you are out there, and I know you are suffering in silence. I am here to tell you that you are not alone, and your voice is being heard loud and clear. Hang on and be strong, transformation is yours. 
In light and love....Rhapsody Bohème 💙🦋

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