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When the past has nothing new to say -Part 2

I recently wrote about being consumed by the past. We find ourselves in it’s claws without taking note of the torture and the demise that we put ourselves through. After revisiting she subject, I felt as if a few things were left unsaid. Perhaps my mind had already changed and I was entertaining different angles and views, maybe I was just exploring every last possibility. I don’t know and it really doesn’t matter, but the subject is worth to elaborate on as I trust many to suffer from this behavior.

I was thinking of several people that I had met over the years and it was obvious that the past and life itself affects us all in different ways. The people I had in mind were clinging to the past and were unaware and naive to the fact that the past had already started to consume their life. Unleashing an array of side effects in its fury, people became cynical, even bitter and sarcastic. Guilt ridden by what was perceived as the wrong choice, the past always lingered, dominating like a big, dark, black cloud of doom. It was self destructive and headed straight into depression, a state of loneliness and darkness.

I had experienced depression myself but on a different level and not due to being unhappy with my past and the decisions that I had made. Still, I was no stranger to the pain and often felt that it was the very reason as to why I could feel the struggle of those around me. My intuition was developed in ways I couldn’t explain but it gave me an exclusive glimpse into the vibe and frequency of others. I would pick up the phone and call right around the time when things weren’t great and when support was needed. Or a thought would come to mind, something urging me to connect with somebody because they needed a smile or somebody to be there. I could see the pain in the eyes of strangers and witness it in their irrational behavior. It was hard to explain but I relied on this sixth sense kind of intuition with a heavy instinct that never proved me wrong.


One day not so long ago, I noticed a change within myself and while I used to entertain the past quite frequently, it became clear that this had been some time ago. I realized that I hadn’t really thought about the past all that much anymore and my interest of it had vanished into thin air. That doesn’t mean that I didn’t get the occasional visit from it and that the “What if’s” didn’t try to find a way in. Just like an old lover creeping back after realizing that a final life altering mistake was made, my past would check in form time to time to see if I had left the door cracked far enough so it could become a permanent resident once more. I heard the knock and the call that urged me to reminisce about times long gone, the distant memories, the things that were left unanswered and the things that involved pain. I had gone through this cycle for years and oblivious to the fact, I too had allowed the pain to make a comeback. Only to realize that with each time the outcome was still the same and the past never had anything new to say.

That little realization was my awareness and my savior. Just knowing what had happened was all it took to provoke a positive change towards becoming free and escaping the chains that had burdened me down for so many years. I made peace with my past to accept the way how life had unfolded for me, not that I was ever at war with my past but I no longer tried to alter the outcome. I left it for what it was, a part of me, a part in the development of myself, nothing more and nothing less. I waved farewell to the demons of “What if” for the last time to let them tell the stories they had come to know so well without myself being present and without worry. I surrendered and trusted in the belief that I deserved better then to be in-prisoned by my past. I was no longer going to torture myself with questions that would never be answered, and I accepted the choices that I had made for I knew that I had done the very best I could.


No more guilt, no more “what if’s”, no more blame and definitely no more regrets.
I let it go and you can too….❤️

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Author:

I'm a dreamer and hopeless romantic who believes that there is always a silver lining to everything. Now, inspired by the simple life, I have learned that less is more and that we find magic all around us if we take the time to notice. Life is a journey and a process that is ever changing. We are constantly evolving in the matter of who we are as we align our stars and shed a past no longer in line with our highest self. I don't easily fit conventional norms, not because I'm a rebel, but because of resenting the pull that threatens to take me away from my true beliefs and my unique personal identity. I support the power of "Choice" and the ability for us to be the architects of our own lives. Some of these choices should have something a little wild about them as they form the moments that forever stay edged in our memory and make our hearts beat with wonder. Nobody will remember the ordinary. For myself, I'm a warrior who has fallen many times, who has gone through trails an tribulations and who is no stranger to adversity. After all, my choice remains clear, to get back up and stand stronger than ever. To recognize that it often takes our darkest moments to mold us into who we were meant to be. I have learned to trust the process and stay positive through the challenges. I trust it to be the only way to prevent my heart from hardening and allowing bitterness to creep in. I believe in the power of "NOW" as it is the only moment we truly ever have. The past is gone, unchangeable and the future hasn't happened yet. All we can impact is the current moment. Everything starts with a choice and hopefully with one that has something wild about it and may even scare you to death to execute. DO IT...I promise you won't regret it. This blog is my voice to share my Journey. If I could describe this adventure in short, I would call it "Spiritual awakening" with a yearning for "Freedom" and going after the things that truly matter. To seek a less complicated life that is stripped down from the many obligations and responsibilities that often tie us down. For me it is a life free of rules and regulations, one that allows me to escape the must expectations while jumping off the hamster wheel that is spinning faster all the time. To be on my own time and live each day to the fullest, to make it all slow down by banishing routine and unleashing my creativity/artistic values in an effort to entertain whatever subject comes to mind. And if lucky, to perhaps offer a different view to my readers, one that speaks to your soul vs. the demands of what society might expect. It is one that empowers you to be your unique self and follow the beat of your own drum. I am dreaming big as I trail blaze the path to a new life and becoming a storyteller. I find my inspiration in the little things in life, in Mother Nature and on the trail that provides the adventures and the backdrop for a book someday. My hope is to inspire "Courage" in others who might find themselves on the brink of taking that first step. This blog serves as a foundation for my collection of personal thoughts, opinions and experiences and by no means am I an expert on any topics mentioned. To my readers I would say that the universe connects us by a common thread, we all search and we all have something to say. We don't always have to meet in person to share a strong bond and people enter our path for a reason. Some stay for a short time and serve their purpose, while others teach us a lesson and help us become stronger through experience. And a few special ones remain as the treasures we hold dear over a lifetime and touch our hearts beyond means. In whatever way we are meant to be, I thank you for crossing my path and for stopping by. I hope that I have left you inspired, full of wonder and with a few "Wild Choices" to make....Hugs XO

9 thoughts on “When the past has nothing new to say -Part 2

  1. All of this is right. I understand this too…and see loved ones clinging to the past too.

    In an effort to stay in the present, I stated clearly to the one I had addressed, my one and only intention….inform her of another’s passing….not expecting her to expound on her historical reverie.

    I walked away, as much as I was able to on a phone conversation. I kept that past tense..it’s past .

    Like

    1. Awe Dee, thank you so much for taking the time to read what I have to say and your wonderful compliment. Feedback is everything as I’m just starting out to pursue my passion for writing and it means a lot. Have a beautiful evening.

      Liked by 1 person

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