Posted in Inspiration

The detail of retail -Part 2- The sacrifice 

By now I had worked in retail for most of my life. Only a few years dated back to when I was a practicing beautician in Germany. Still it involved working with the public even though the setting was slightly different and on a much smaller scale vs. working for a big box retail corporation.After I had moved to America, retail became my only option (I thought) and my beauticians license from Germany was not honored. To continue my career abroad, I had to obtain my American license which called for money I didn’t have just starting out. After all I was a newly arrived foreigner and I still hide behind pleading the fifth and being a foreigner in a joking manner, when it comes to not knowing any better or making a mistake. Still I found it strange, given that the three year program in Germany was more extensive, detailed, and in depth compared to the much faster process over here. But in the end the fact remained that my license meant diddly squat. I had to be flexible and life was throwing one of its famous curveballs in my path. It came to pass that retail would be the obvious and perhaps the simplest choice for me. It didn’t require additional education and anybody could get their foot into the door of america’s working class.

There was no plan B and I needed an income like yesterday, like so many of us. My journey began and I took “a job” to survive, doing what I had to do to make ends meet. I was wondering how many of us were making this decision on a daily basis! It was clear that retail would have not been my obvious choice, but then what was? Did I have a dream job? Was being a beautician my dream job? Contemplating the question, the answer to it never came and I didn’t know. I had never so much entertained the subject and now I felt unsure of our capabilities to make this huge decision during our school term. Or was it just me struggling with it?

Many years had passed since then and I was recalling those early times as if I was having another out of body experience. Hovering over myself, the details of my life emerged on a faint silver screen in black and white, baring no sound. The blurred images of myself appeared in random order and flashed just long enough to allow a glimpse of highlights and past events.

Retail was a tough order to follow and I had committed to it for the past 25+ years. I had come to know people who really enjoyed this environment but I also knew people that experienced a different side. People that got a pretty good chewing, only to be spit out afterwards. I identified myself as being a little bit of both and I had seen the up’s and down’s of it. After all I was born on the day of up’s and down’s, so was my life to entail anything else but that? I was getting accustomed to the roller coaster ride, I just hadn’t figured out yet if I actually liked roller coasters.

Retail demands many personal sacrifices and never dwelled on it until now. All of a sudden I didn’t want to miss anymore holidays with family, friends and loved ones. Taking time off during the holidays was impossible and those times were usually blacked out, meaning that no vacation was granted. It was up to me to make everybody’s holiday season bright, special and filled with cheer even though it often felt as if the stressed in a rush public never appreciated the sacrifice I was making. I was merely a servant to a means and that was it. My elf inner spirit was left worn and the bright cheery sparkle was beginning to fade as the holidays progressed. Still I made the sacrifice and worked hard to become a valuable and dependable worker. I enjoyed helping others and I was going to be the best I could be at this not so chosen, not my dream kind of job that I was trusted with. I was to serve the public, but even more to be a mentor for those aspiring to move up in business. I was grateful to be given the opportunity to make a difference and to be a vital part of making a few dreams come true.

I had been successful no doubt, especially giving the consideration of this being not my native country and that I barely spoke the language. I worked through the ranks and landed in management. My goal was to perfect my craft and to prepare me for what was next and the running of my own store for a well known organization.

My foot was in the door and the sacrifice was forging the path of my life….

My painting that speaks to the inprisonment of the all mighty dollar. The dark side and the things we have to do to survive, which often leaves us feeling incomplete and merely existing vs. being alive.



I'm a dreamer and hopeless romantic who believes that there is always a silver lining to everything. Now, inspired by the simple life, I have learned that less is more and that we find magic all around us if we take the time to notice. Life is a journey and a process that is ever changing. We are constantly evolving in the matter of who we are as we align our stars and shed a past no longer in line with our highest self. I don't easily fit conventional norms, not because I'm a rebel, but because of resenting the pull that threatens to take me away from my true beliefs and my unique personal identity. I support the power of "Choice" and the ability for us to be the architects of our own lives. Some of these choices should have something a little wild about them as they form the moments that forever stay edged in our memory and make our hearts beat with wonder. Nobody will remember the ordinary. For myself, I'm a warrior who has fallen many times, who has gone through trails an tribulations and who is no stranger to adversity. After all, my choice remains clear, to get back up and stand stronger than ever. To recognize that it often takes our darkest moments to mold us into who we were meant to be. I have learned to trust the process and stay positive through the challenges. I trust it to be the only way to prevent my heart from hardening and allowing bitterness to creep in. I believe in the power of "NOW" as it is the only moment we truly ever have. The past is gone, unchangeable and the future hasn't happened yet. All we can impact is the current moment. Everything starts with a choice and hopefully with one that has something wild about it and may even scare you to death to execute. DO IT...I promise you won't regret it. This blog is my voice to share my Journey. If I could describe this adventure in short, I would call it "Spiritual awakening" with a yearning for "Freedom" and going after the things that truly matter. To seek a less complicated life that is stripped down from the many obligations and responsibilities that often tie us down. For me it is a life free of rules and regulations, one that allows me to escape the must expectations while jumping off the hamster wheel that is spinning faster all the time. To be on my own time and live each day to the fullest, to make it all slow down by banishing routine and unleashing my creativity/artistic values in an effort to entertain whatever subject comes to mind. And if lucky, to perhaps offer a different view to my readers, one that speaks to your soul vs. the demands of what society might expect. It is one that empowers you to be your unique self and follow the beat of your own drum. I am dreaming big as I trail blaze the path to a new life and becoming a storyteller. I find my inspiration in the little things in life, in Mother Nature and on the trail that provides the adventures and the backdrop for a book someday. My hope is to inspire "Courage" in others who might find themselves on the brink of taking that first step. This blog serves as a foundation for my collection of personal thoughts, opinions and experiences and by no means am I an expert on any topics mentioned. To my readers I would say that the universe connects us by a common thread, we all search and we all have something to say. We don't always have to meet in person to share a strong bond and people enter our path for a reason. Some stay for a short time and serve their purpose, while others teach us a lesson and help us become stronger through experience. And a few special ones remain as the treasures we hold dear over a lifetime and touch our hearts beyond means. In whatever way we are meant to be, I thank you for crossing my path and for stopping by. I hope that I have left you inspired, full of wonder and with a few "Wild Choices" to make....Hugs XO

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