Posted in Inspiration

The detail of retail-Part 1-The loss of balance

Today was the beginning of a seven day work stretch and in all honesty, I was not looking forward to it. It was a lot of noise to imagine and I was already counting down the days before they had a chance to get started. But it was also the countdown towards salvation which included five days of freedom coming my way. “Freedom” was my reference to time off and it seemed as if it was all that I was working for as of lately. I’m not saying that I didn’t care about my job or that I gave it anything less then a 100%, in reality it was more of the opposite and my work ethic would have never allowed for such, but I longed to be under nobody’s watch and I wanted to do my own thing. For sure there was a lot to be done in doing that “own thing” and the last time I had checked, I had found no shortage of hobbies and interests. I would not be bored for a long, long time, that was for sure and I was ok with it.
The problem was never enough time to balance all, with days way too short and a forty hour workweek that simply took a big chunk of my time. It almost felt like a waste of time and work was getting in between my creative process. But just like everybody else, I had to work and it didn’t look as if I was going to win the lottery any time soon. Perhaps I should start to play if I was to entertain this avenue.
After everything was said and done, by the end of the day I was simply too exhausted and all I wanted to do was to sit and unwind from my busy day. I sat in silence, without the TV and began to wonder what the point was of having it and paying the $140 a month which included the typical TV, Phone and Internet bundle. The only thing I really used was the Wifi. The phone was more or less for my Mother and to allow her to reach me if there was ever a need. But there was never a need it seemed like, or I should say that it was very seldom that she called due to the time difference and not knowing when she was able to reach me with my ever changing schedule. Plus she hated to talk to the answering machine and would rather hang up instead of leaving a message. I know it sounds like an excuse but those were her reasons and even though I could have had the same, we differed as I would call back over and over until I get a hold of her.
The TV would only add more noise to an already hectic and loud retail day and so I sat in silence in search of my sanity. Life was passing me by and I’m not saying that you always have to be on the go and be doing something, but I was too tired for anything else. It was a routine, an unfulfilled reason that was simply unacceptable to me. My condition was not by choice but by exhaustion and being drained. I had come to a point where retail and it’s loss for balance sucked the life right out of me. It sounds horrible coming to think of, but I didn’t know different. “It was just what it was” and I knew something was missing. I’m sure it still remains a part of what needs to be altered and what needs to be changed along my path as I patiently await the solutions to present themselves when the conditions are right and in perfect time.
As I sat there my “Questions galore” post made a comeback by throwing one question after another my way to disturb the peace and quiet I was so desperately seeking.
Did I really wanted to spend the rest of my life like this? What was I working towards, what was my legacy, my fulfillment? And the biggest question mark of them all “What was next”?

 

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Author:

I'm a dreamer and hopeless romantic who believes that there is always a silver lining to everything. Now, inspired by the simple life, I have learned that less is more and that we find magic all around us if we take the time to notice. Life is a journey and a process that is ever changing. We are constantly evolving in the matter of who we are as we align our stars and shed a past no longer in line with our highest self. I don't easily fit conventional norms, not because I'm a rebel, but because of resenting the pull that threatens to take me away from my true beliefs and my unique personal identity. I support the power of "Choice" and the ability for us to be the architects of our own lives. Some of these choices should have something a little wild about them as they form the moments that forever stay edged in our memory and make our hearts beat with wonder. Nobody will remember the ordinary. For myself, I'm a warrior who has fallen many times, who has gone through trails an tribulations and who is no stranger to adversity. After all, my choice remains clear, to get back up and stand stronger than ever. To recognize that it often takes our darkest moments to mold us into who we were meant to be. I have learned to trust the process and stay positive through the challenges. I trust it to be the only way to prevent my heart from hardening and allowing bitterness to creep in. I believe in the power of "NOW" as it is the only moment we truly ever have. The past is gone, unchangeable and the future hasn't happened yet. All we can impact is the current moment. Everything starts with a choice and hopefully with one that has something wild about it and may even scare you to death to execute. DO IT...I promise you won't regret it. This blog is my voice to share my Journey. If I could describe this adventure in short, I would call it "Spiritual awakening" with a yearning for "Freedom" and going after the things that truly matter. To seek a less complicated life that is stripped down from the many obligations and responsibilities that often tie us down. For me it is a life free of rules and regulations, one that allows me to escape the must expectations while jumping off the hamster wheel that is spinning faster all the time. To be on my own time and live each day to the fullest, to make it all slow down by banishing routine and unleashing my creativity/artistic values in an effort to entertain whatever subject comes to mind. And if lucky, to perhaps offer a different view to my readers, one that speaks to your soul vs. the demands of what society might expect. It is one that empowers you to be your unique self and follow the beat of your own drum. I am dreaming big as I trail blaze the path to a new life and becoming a storyteller. I find my inspiration in the little things in life, in Mother Nature and on the trail that provides the adventures and the backdrop for a book someday. My hope is to inspire "Courage" in others who might find themselves on the brink of taking that first step. This blog serves as a foundation for my collection of personal thoughts, opinions and experiences and by no means am I an expert on any topics mentioned. To my readers I would say that the universe connects us by a common thread, we all search and we all have something to say. We don't always have to meet in person to share a strong bond and people enter our path for a reason. Some stay for a short time and serve their purpose, while others teach us a lesson and help us become stronger through experience. And a few special ones remain as the treasures we hold dear over a lifetime and touch our hearts beyond means. In whatever way we are meant to be, I thank you for crossing my path and for stopping by. I hope that I have left you inspired, full of wonder and with a few "Wild Choices" to make....Hugs XO

4 thoughts on “The detail of retail-Part 1-The loss of balance

  1. I really don’t know why I went this far back into your posts, but something told me to read this, and I did and I learned a lot about balance and even if it isn’t in retail that we still need balance in our life. Thanks for posting this, and I know it is a year old, but still the words can speak to my heart…

    Liked by 1 person

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