I wasn’t spending much time posting status updates these days, nor was I responding to other people’s posts and their fantastic life according to Facebook. It all seemed like a front, having to keep up, not the real deal and for myself, I had never been one to pretend. I preferred to keep it real, good or bad. If there was nothing good to say, I much rather kept silent and to myself. But I always enjoyed looking at pictures, as if they carried me away to trade my reality for a dream world. It was no surprise that Pinterest quickly became my best friend and my interest for various subjects demanded a need to quickly create a variety of new boards. It was an eclectic mix with anything that was pleasing to the eye or inspired me in some way to be pinned. Inspiration and pleasure was in high demand these days and I never knew which random images could strike a reaction. I was growing and so was the diversity within, my mind was expanding while I was discovering newfound likes.I took a big liking to quotes, personal mantras, life and Native American wisdom. I shouldn’t be surprised about the Native American passion and a connection dating back to my childhood became clear. My mind was drifting back to the lazy Sunday afternoons, watching a western on TV and always being so fascinated with the Indians in the old black and white film. Even the horror of scalping some Cowboys at times, I never gave it much thought as to why and that was just the way it was. Perhaps there was already a connection to the lifestyle in those films, not to say that I like to scalpel some people, but I was feeling a common love to Nature, living modestly in the wild, being strong, wild and free. To no surprise playing Cowboys and Indians with my Mom was a frequent occasion in our home.
She would find herself more times than none restrained with me being the Indian who had to tie that “Pale face” to a kitchen chair which would serve as a totem pole.
“Fasching” in Germany was an extended version of Halloween and you know what the perfect costume for me was. I got into full character by grabbing my long haired black wig, my Indian dress and not to forget finishing the whole alter ego by painting my face with black war paint. My mind is entertained as I look back to those innocent times to see a connection of unknowingly getting ready for my life and fighting for my beliefs. Except then I was just fighting to tie people up it seems.
Looking at pictures on Pinterest, I felt confirmation that there were other people like me and that I wasn’t going crazy just yet. I saved picture after picture and my collection of inspiration grew at an astonishing rate. The other interesting fact was that I was soaking up one quote after another like a sponge I was learning to sustain my quest of guidance for my journey. There were old favorites but also many new found likes that grabbed my attention and shorten my nights of sleep. I just couldn’t tear myself away.
I was thinking about how those quotes came to be, what life experiences triggered these sayings and what battles must have been fought to receive such ultimate wisdom. I knew that wisdom does not come easy and in many cases it was nothing more than healed pain. I could relate with the beautiful strangers that had poured their hearts into ink and paper and I felt strangely connected. As if I could feel the pain coming through the words, it was a combination of compassion and sadness, but also motivation to push on and to learn more.
My day ended reflecting on my own wisdom, what I had learned, what I had come to love, but most of all I was focused on the “Now” and what needed to change in the pursuit of my own journey.