Posted in Inspiration, Life, Motivation,, My story, Purpose driven, Spiritual awakening, Survival

Questions Galore

Here it was again and that “Something” from the other day had seemingly taking over my life. There was no shortage of questions and my mind was racing and kept me occupied over the next few days. Question after question entered my mind at dizzying speeds and without lingering long enough to even stand the chance to be answered.What was I here to do on earth and with my life? Was I living a purpose driven life? Was my life all that it was suppose to be? Was that it or was there more to life? Had I accomplished what the world was expecting of me and did I turn out to be the successful person I was meant to be? Was I fulfilling my lives destiny… wait a minute, where did I hear that and who decides that anyways?

It was exhausting to say the least and with no answers, I just sat there staring off into the distance as if some message would miraculously start floating towards me. My mind was racing from one thought to another, coming full circle and returning back to it’s originating question that had started the whole chaos. Still no answers but I couldn’t shake the feeling that something felt incomplete, something vital, something that was unfulfilled. I’m talking about the stuff that dreams are made off, the inspiration that gives us hope and propels us forward. The things that make us truly feel alive, instead of just living in existence. I mean that special little “Something” that feeds our soul with magic and a meaning that is so much greater than ourselves. You know what I mean.

I didn’t know what had caused the sudden change and what triggered those feelings, but for sure there had to be more to life then just working and paying the bills day after day, only to repeat over and over for weeks, months and years. For almost half of a century, I had chased the ideals, principles and values ingrained into me from little on. Growing up in Germany I had inherited a strong work ethic, but it often placed me last while giving my job priority and more than I had at times. I was eager to please and exceed the ever growing demands that society had placed and invested in me. And not once did I think that there was something wrong with it. I was used to hard work and working my way through the ranks. Until now that was, and it felt as if I was finally waking up from that deep sleep that had stretched over all of my life. I was ready for a change and I wanted to surrender to the idea of what could be. To dare letting my life unfold in front of my eyes and to find myself utilizing unconventional manners, away from what I had been taught, away from the reality I had lived all of my life. Who’s reality was it anyways, who’s principles and values was I living? Did I have any of my own and if so what were they and who was I?
And so this paintings came to be and it is one of my very first ones and also one of my favorites to date.

And as you can see I just had a lot of those ????????????????? during that time.



I'm a dreamer and hopeless romantic who believes that there is always a silver lining to everything. Now, inspired by the simple life, I have learned that less is more and that we find magic all around us if we take the time to notice. Life is a journey and a process that is ever changing. We are constantly evolving in the matter of who we are as we align our stars and shed a past no longer in line with our highest self. I don't easily fit conventional norms, not because I'm a rebel, but because of resenting the pull that threatens to take me away from my true beliefs and my unique personal identity. I support the power of "Choice" and the ability for us to be the architects of our own lives. Some of these choices should have something a little wild about them as they form the moments that forever stay edged in our memory and make our hearts beat with wonder. Nobody will remember the ordinary. For myself, I'm a warrior who has fallen many times, who has gone through trails an tribulations and who is no stranger to adversity. After all, my choice remains clear, to get back up and stand stronger than ever. To recognize that it often takes our darkest moments to mold us into who we were meant to be. I have learned to trust the process and stay positive through the challenges. I trust it to be the only way to prevent my heart from hardening and allowing bitterness to creep in. I believe in the power of "NOW" as it is the only moment we truly ever have. The past is gone, unchangeable and the future hasn't happened yet. All we can impact is the current moment. Everything starts with a choice and hopefully with one that has something wild about it and may even scare you to death to execute. DO IT...I promise you won't regret it. This blog is my voice to share my Journey. If I could describe this adventure in short, I would call it "Spiritual awakening" with a yearning for "Freedom" and going after the things that truly matter. To seek a less complicated life that is stripped down from the many obligations and responsibilities that often tie us down. For me it is a life free of rules and regulations, one that allows me to escape the must expectations while jumping off the hamster wheel that is spinning faster all the time. To be on my own time and live each day to the fullest, to make it all slow down by banishing routine and unleashing my creativity/artistic values in an effort to entertain whatever subject comes to mind. And if lucky, to perhaps offer a different view to my readers, one that speaks to your soul vs. the demands of what society might expect. It is one that empowers you to be your unique self and follow the beat of your own drum. I am dreaming big as I trail blaze the path to a new life and becoming a storyteller. I find my inspiration in the little things in life, in Mother Nature and on the trail that provides the adventures and the backdrop for a book someday. My hope is to inspire "Courage" in others who might find themselves on the brink of taking that first step. This blog serves as a foundation for my collection of personal thoughts, opinions and experiences and by no means am I an expert on any topics mentioned. To my readers I would say that the universe connects us by a common thread, we all search and we all have something to say. We don't always have to meet in person to share a strong bond and people enter our path for a reason. Some stay for a short time and serve their purpose, while others teach us a lesson and help us become stronger through experience. And a few special ones remain as the treasures we hold dear over a lifetime and touch our hearts beyond means. In whatever way we are meant to be, I thank you for crossing my path and for stopping by. I hope that I have left you inspired, full of wonder and with a few "Wild Choices" to make....Hugs XO

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